Charlie Sheen has saturated the web since his recent series of meltdowns. It’s all too easy, and too entertaining to ignore. He’s only hurting hookers and himself, so what’s the problem with playing into his cries for attention. The dude is completely manic and he will soon be quoted by more douchebags than all of Todd Phillips’ movies combined. It only made sense that he would take his insanity over to Twitter — the most unfiltered, unprotected social media outlet of them all. It was safe to say that his first day on the site was a total win. He is, after all, an F-18 with magic and poetry…
If you want to follow along with the insanity, in real time, you can check out Sheen’s twitter account, @charliesheen, for yourself, but here’s a quick rundown of his first 24 hours:
Sheen’s First Tweet:
Winning..! Choose your Vice… #winning #chooseyourvice
Followed by this picture with him and some young hooker, pornstar, or soon to be hooker or pornstar.
She’s drinking perfect boobs, and he’s drinking some sort of, what appears to be, a chocolate shake. It looks home made, which means he probably put cocaine in it. Just because he says “Choose your Vice” doesn’t mean he’s choosing the healthy one.
Sheen joined Twitter around noon PST on March 1st, and in less than a day he hit almost one million followers. While writing this article, I refreshed Sheen’s Twitter page several times and his subscriber jumped by almost one hundred each time I reloaded the page. THAT IS MORE MIND-BLOWING THAN CHARLIE SHEEN HIMSELF! Though it makes me wonder if “Two and a Half Men” was just what people were watching while they waited for Sheen to lose his god damn mind.
That was the hashtag that started trending in the U.S. only a few hours after Sheen posted this:
“Winner..! 2012… #winner“
With this photo attached:
That’s an Oscar cake, but the Oscar statue has Sheen’s head on it. Because that’s what you do when you’re Chuck Sheen, you have cakes made with your face on them. For an award show in which you were not even nominated for said award. Winners make themselves win. Get it?
I have no idea what this hashtag means, but it sounds intense. Sheen made the following three tweets containing this term:
“Questions..? I’m here for my people..! Bring it!! #Tigerblood”
“He had the Tigerblood… No doubt!! RT @Chupa72 The Babe’s finest year. The Bambino was a level 100 Warlock sir. #Tigerblood”
“My man! RT @FloydMayweather Everyone needs to follow @charliesheen right now. #tigerblood“
He also talks about “Warlocks” which is great. Sheen is starting to remind of the weird kid we went to high school with who took one karate lesson and just started telling everyone he was a real ninja, then started dressing like a ninja, and actually thought he was a ninja. I feel like his parents never stopped him from pretending to be a ninja, and his peers were to afraid of him to tell him that he was acting like an idiot. Same thing with Sheen. Nobody close to him feels like telling him he’s bat shit crazy, and everyone else is afraid he may actually be a warlock who drinks tiger’s blood.
Charlie Sheen is clearly winning over the internet. If only his thumbs could keep up with his manic, mouth diarrhea, we’d have a real timeline of the man’s meltdown. #Winner #TigerBlood