Charlize Theron Doesn’t Need Your Pictures

I have this cousin, and when he was little he was kinda chubby and everyone thought he was adorable, and they’d ask him to do this little dance that he did, and then afterward they’d give him candy. After a while, he’d totally half ass his dance and then finally he just wouldn’t do the dance and still expect candy. And people would give it to him because he was still adorable. Then he turned eleven and he was just an awkwardly sized fat kid, and no one paid attention to him and when he tried to bring back a form of the dance, no one cared or gave him candy. He couldn’t figure out why. So my dad sat him down and was like “Listen. You’re just a fat kid now, it was never about the dance. Candy days are done.” Someday my dad my have to have that conversation with Charlize Theron, because she thinks it’s about the dance. Hollywoodrag.com reports:

Charlize Theron has no desire to be photographed at star-studded parties and doesn’t understand why her peers bow to the pressure. The star also argued against the idea that celebrities should give up their right to privacy in exchange for money and fame.

She added to GQ magazine: “Like, your life belongs to us now? That’s the
deal? I didn’t get that memo. It wasn’t sent to me and I didn’t sign it. So,
f**k you.”

Meanwhile Mario Lopez released a statement saying “Dear Paparazzi, my life belongs to you. I’ve written a memo and am in the process of sending it to you to sign.”

I think Charlize Theron forgets that although the paparazzi are crazy and sort of disgusting, she needs them to stay relevant. I got news for her, people have short memories. As soon as they don’t see her for a couple months in Us Magazine, she’ll cease to be Charlize Theron and become “that chick that got ugly for that one movie.” And by the way, if you’ve ever seen her at a red carpet or a star studded party, she’s basically begging the camera to take a pic of her. I mean, look at this picture, she’s clearly trying to get someone’s attention:

I think she could have gone without the platypus and the black face, and just rocked the antlers and nipple tassles and gotten the same effect.