Christmas Commercials From The 80′s

Some of you may remember the eighties, or you’ll at least remember that people didn’t whine so much about how awful the economy was, because we were doing really awesome for a while. That’s when people were buying things all willy-nilly, and they weren’t using credit cards. A lot of people had full time jobs with health benefits so they didn’t have to wish upon a star to cure their children’s ailments, as I imagine people do nowadays. Christmas used to be a lot less Charles Dickens and a lot more Richie Rich. Enjoy these Christmas commercials from the golden age of the polo shirt…

Oreo Cookies

This li’l soldier fell asleep on his watch! Totally missed Santa eating the cookies. Also missed Santa sneaking up to his mom’s room. Way to go, kid.

M&M’s

You’re all like “red and green M&M’s. Big whoop!” What you don’t realize is that this was before M&M’s sold out and went mainstream with their custom colors and what not. These were rare, holiday candies with little bells printed on them. They were valuable, that’s why this ungrateful little girl thought that she could bribe Santa using only those chocolates. I bet that little girl is now a thirty-something woman, swimming in student loan debt. Wishing she hadn’t asked for so many frivolous things in 1985.

Fruity Pebbles

Fruity Pebbles used to be the cereal of Christmas and healthy children who are now diabetic adults.

McDonald’s

“Hey, you guys, remember that time we followed the trail in the woods to the ol’ frozen pond where we saw that figure skating clown?”

Toys ‘R Us

I wanna be a Toys R’ Us kid who acts sort of like an adult. Because that’s what kids were supposed to be in the eighties, tiny adults.