June 17, 2014 | 4:08 pm
Today is the 48th birthday of legendary pornstar Christy Canyon. I learned this by typing today’s date into the Notable Names Database (NNDB), which apparently reserves no judgement when it comes to listing the names of people it considers “notable.” And good on them for their open mindedness, because let’s face it, we live in a society of morally twisted cowards and hypocrites; a society that bestowed limitless fame upon Kim Kardashian for taking it in the pooper *once* on camera yet simultaneously acted like Canyon — star of over 100 adult films and such classics of the genre as Orifice Party, Sore Throat, Black Throat, and Midslumber’s Night Dream (and that was just ’85!) — in no way deserved to be mentioned in the anals (heh) of history for doing so. I salute you, Notable Names Database. Your objectivity when identifying fame is admirable indeed.
Aaaaaaanyway, check out of our favorite photos of Christy in the gallery above, and if you have a suggestion for a future installment of Classic Crush, shoot it to us on twitter @HolyTaco.