ED. Note – Holy Taco staffers unearthed these in an old magazine entitled "Fun Pastimes for Boys" published in 1952. We prsent a choice selection of their pranks.
Hey Big Daddy, ready to pull off a few practical jokes and see the old timers get frosted? Sure you are! Dig these crazy schemes. What’s the word from the bird? These are far out and sure to razz your berries!
The Man Deuce
Uh oh, got in a pickle with your neighbor? Buncha squares always trying to rattle your cage? Never fear with the Man Deuce, friend! Those filthy Reds will be running back to Lichtenstein in no time.
Make the scene around 3 am as the crow flies, and part ways with your threads on the neighbor’s porch. You’ll be made in the shade if you had yourself some crazy Chicano food for supper time, or even some undercooked pork roast.
Pinch a loaf on the front steps and be sure to let it drag out to its full proud length and just go ape. Running that pudding train as far as nature allows. Now you’re on the trolley! And boy howdy will those clydes be all kinds of flabbergasted when they step outside in the morning to see that fudge smudge waiting for them. Too big for a dog, too real to be a dream, what happened to our porch? You’ll be on Cloud 9 watching them try to figure this one out!
The Chesterfield Hobgoblin
Is some old fuddy duddy always getting the best of you with silly questions about the Suez Canal and other world events? Set him up to ring his bell with this smooth scenario sure to tickle his fancy and leave him looking like a boob in the end.
Propose you and pops have an old fashioned quizzling session where you battle head to head and even offer to let him go first. Have him sit on the couch facing you and get ready for mirth! He’ll be such an eager beaver to get going he’ll be knocked all akimbo when you lash out at his Adam’s apple with the blade of your hand. You just gave him the darby but good! As he gasps for breath, be sure to let him know the current event he should be concerned with is a collapsed esophagus.
The Knick Knack Drawer
This is a real hoot on the school bus with the fellas or even during health class when boring old Mr. McGritch is spouting his gobbledygook about premature whozits and erectile whatsits!
You’ll need to get three friends and arrange yourselves in a circle. Tell the boys you’re going to totally wow their peepers with a really keen magick trick. You’re going to make a glass just disappear. So better get a glass first.
Practice up on some far out magickal sounding words that you can say over the glass. Doesn’t matter what as it’s all the devil’s masturbatory aids anyway. As your friends watch what you’re doing with one hand over the glass, point off to the side with your other hand and toss out something clever like “look!” Then, when they look, bash Jimmy Davis over the head with that glass. He thinks he can feel up Mary Ellen when he knows you two are going steady? Man, f*ck that guy!
Old Stimey’s Angry Knuckle
Here’s a fun prank to pull on a dame with a real classy chassis that you’ve been eying. She’ll think you’re fun and pretty keen when the dust settles after this humdinger!
You’ll need the juice from one lemon and a bit of luck to pull this off, but in the end it’ll be the bees knees and totally worth it. Wait for a moment when your Dolly is busy making you a sandwich or doing housework, then sneak up behind her with the lemon juice. Quietly, before she notices, squirt the lemon juice in your mouth, inducing the production of excess saliva. Use the excess saliva to lubricate your finger and see if you can’t get it most of the way into some orifice before she notices. The guys in prison will think you’re hilarious when you tell them why you’re there!