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Holy Taco’s Guide To Writing A Good Cover Letter

Well, congratulations! You’ve finished college and now you’re out in the real world. Or, maybe, you’re a casualty of our difficult economic times and you’ve once again found yourself competing for the few decent jobs our great country has left. Either way, you’re probably sending dozens upon dozens of cover letters and resumes out to potential employers. But are you grabbing their attention? Are you saying the right things? Probably not. Please, let us help you…

Since most resumes are sent via email these days, an attention grabbing subject line is incredibly important.

In your subject line, mention the job you’re applying for, one quality about yourself that makes you a cut above the rest, and don’t be afraid to lie.

For example, if you were applying for a job as a dog walker, you might say “Experienced Walker, Looking For Dogs”.

Wether or not you’ve ever walked a dog in your life is irrelevant. The fact is, if you’re an adult, you’ve been walking for a long time. Now you’re ready to walk with a dog. For money.

Perhaps you’re a young man applying to be a copywriter for a women’s fashion catalogue. In that case you could say “Eager Male Copywriter Loves To Write About/Wear Women’s Clothing”.

Ideally, you wouldn’t be applying for a job like this, because it’s really not within your experience, but America is bordering on an economic depression, so you take what you can get, right? If that’s how you’re operating, you’re going to have to be ok with lying a little bit. And possibly wearing women’s clothing.

In the body of the email, introduce yourself, list your relevant qualities, and name-drop like crazy.

For example, your opening line, following the salutation might be something like “I’m Tony, an excellent and attentive dog walker, and a friend of Steve Franklin’s, Mike Carter’s, and Jay Leno’s.”

You probably don’t know Jay Leno, but there’s a really good chance that the person you’re writing to doesn’t either. So how will they dispute your claim?

Close your email with a catchy signature, then follow up in two weeks, and every two weeks for the following year.

Be sure to put your name, contact info and a famous quote in the signature block of your emails. Use this as an example:

Tony Kindler
“I drink to stay warm, and to kill selected memories…” – Conor Oberst

When following up, don’t act like you still need the job. Follow up to let them know that you’re considering other offers and wanted to give them one last chance. Even if their are no other offers on the table. You want to seem like you’re in demand!

That’s pretty much everything! Good luck to you on your job hunt, we really hope these pointers do you some good! You’re welcome!

One Response to "Holy Taco’s Guide To Writing A Good Cover Letter"

  1. DonkeyXote says: