Crack Pipe Found In Ass Crack

Sometimes, when you're pockets are full you need to put some items you can't carry in certain areas on your body just to keep them safe. Items like, say, crack pipes.  According to TCPalm.com:

A Palm City woman remained in jail Monday, two days after a corrections officer found a glass crack pipe between her buttocks while she was being processed on an auto burglary charge.

The woman, Evelyn E. Russo, 38, of the 3600 block of Southwest Sunset Trace Circle, Palm City, asked for money to get a ride, the report said. Instead, the resident told her to leave. After she did, he discovered the woman has taken about $2 in change from the car.

A deputy caught up with Russo, who had flagged down a motorist who gave her a ride, the report said.

While being booked at the Indian River County Jail, a corrections deputy said Russo denied having any drugs or paraphernalia on her. However, the deputy found the glass crack pipe between the woman's buttocks during a search, the report said.

Now, I know crackheads don't always make the most logical decisions, but Ms. Russo is forgetting one very important note when she's cramming her crack pipe up her ass: she is going to put the crack pipe into her mouth. If they really want to keep children off drugs, they should make stories like these into after school specials. If the "War on Drugs" was called the "War On Ass Taste" I think we would solve almost all our narcotics problems.