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Crappy Movie Spoiler Alert!

marley me dog dies
Aww, man. I was totally going to see Marley and Me, the crappy attempt at a shitty feel good Christmas movie starring Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, but now that I know the ending…well, what’s the point?
I wonder if at the end of the movie, when the dog dies, if Jennifer Aniston’s character turns to Owen Wilson and says, "Speaking of dead stuff…Hey, remember that time you tried to kill yourself and now everyone pretends it didn’t happen, but secretly, in the back of their mind’s, everyone’s waiting for you to try and kill yourself again? Why did you try to kill yourself, anyway? Seems kinda like a bitch move. Are you a bitch, Owen? Are you? Are you gonna go home and try to kill yourself cause I called you a little bitch? You know who’s not a little bitch? Kurt Cobain. You know why? Cause he "actually" killed himself. He didn’t "try." You know who "tries" to kill themselves? Little bitches who want attention. I guess that makes you a little bitch, then, doesn’t it? That’s what I thought. Little bitch." (I’m pretty sure that’s what she’d say.)

7 Responses to "Crappy Movie Spoiler Alert!"

  1. Yeah! Yeah! says:

    You put Brad Pitt’s name in there, and the fact she’s totally over that, and i’d say that’s pretty spot on.

  2. holyjesus says:

    lol thats exactly what I thought when I heard owen wilson “tried” to off himself. Comeon Owen. Put a little effort in there, Cobain managed to blast his own face off with a shotgun,while he was high as shit on heroin, you know how hard it would be to pull that off? Determination is key you pussy.

  3. bitchtits says:

    meh, ”spoiler alert” is a little dwarfed by a huge fuckin picture saying THE DOG DIES shitheads, bit redundant

  4. Jan says:

    Actually Cobain tried to kill himself a couple of times before succeeding.

  5. BLACK_ATACK says:

    I was looking forward too seeing that movie but who cares if the dog died wouldnt it be alot more sad if the dog died in real life.And nice description on what Jenifer Aniston would say i laughed.Well i can tell you one thing in Valkyrie Tom cruise and evryone else dies and dont see Valkyrie just watch the biography cause its much better than Tom Cruise piece of shit.

  6. Anonymous says:

    not cool to mention Cobain, lack of respect for the dead.