Crazy Chicks 101: An Introductory Course In Unstable Women

There’s been a video floating around the web of a young woman purporting to be a first-time eHarmony user. In it, she confesses her intense, unhealthy love of cats in such a way that sends up so many dating red flags, that it’s almost too much. We’re not here to dispute the validity of the clip, but we are here to educate, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re here to warn you about the dangers of not only online dating, but more importantly, the dangers of involving yourself with an attractive woman who is CLEARLY out of her God damned mind.

If you haven’t already, please watch the clip posted above. I know there are probably a river of thoughts flowing through your mind right now.

First off, you’re probably thinking “Wow, she’s hot.” Well, you’re right. She is. Nobody her is denying that.

Then you probably thought “Wow, she’s really into cats.” Right again. She’s really into cats.

Then you were like “No big deal, a lot of women are into cats.” True, women like cats. But, typically, they don’t like cats this much.

Then you thought “Wow, she’s crying about the fact that she’s so into cats. But whatevs. She’s hot!” Totally right again. But here’s the point where experience divides the men from the boys…

You have to understand that no degree of physical attractiveness can override that degree of crazy over the long term. You’d be able to stomach the seemingly unprovoked crying fits and the way she gets overwhelmed with really dumb shit for six, maybe eight months MAX. And you’d only be able to stomach it for that long because, as we should all know by now, crazy women are way better at sex than stable ones.

If you don’t believe what we’re telling you to be true, then we’re sorry. You’re one of those guys who’s going to have to learn for himself. You’re going to learn the hard way, that warning signs should be heeded, and that physical positive qualities and emotional negative qualities must strike a delicate balance. If they don’t, you will find yourself trapped in a relationship with a woman who gives amazing blowjobs, but tries to stab you on a weekly basis.

What you need to take away from this lesson, is that crying over the mere thought of “all the cats in the world” is a red flag, and you must learn to observe and appropriately respond to those red flags, regardless of what your lizard brain is telling you.