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Crazy Chicks 101: An Introductory Course In Unstable Women

There’s been a video floating around the web of a young woman purporting to be a first-time eHarmony user. In it, she confesses her intense, unhealthy love of cats in such a way that sends up so many dating red flags, that it’s almost too much. We’re not here to dispute the validity of the clip, but we are here to educate, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re here to warn you about the dangers of not only online dating, but more importantly, the dangers of involving yourself with an attractive woman who is CLEARLY out of her God damned mind.

If you haven’t already, please watch the clip posted above. I know there are probably a river of thoughts flowing through your mind right now.

First off, you’re probably thinking “Wow, she’s hot.” Well, you’re right. She is. Nobody her is denying that.

Then you probably thought “Wow, she’s really into cats.” Right again. She’s really into cats.

Then you were like “No big deal, a lot of women are into cats.” True, women like cats. But, typically, they don’t like cats this much.

Then you thought “Wow, she’s crying about the fact that she’s so into cats. But whatevs. She’s hot!” Totally right again. But here’s the point where experience divides the men from the boys…

You have to understand that no degree of physical attractiveness can override that degree of crazy over the long term. You’d be able to stomach the seemingly unprovoked crying fits and the way she gets overwhelmed with really dumb shit for six, maybe eight months MAX. And you’d only be able to stomach it for that long because, as we should all know by now, crazy women are way better at sex than stable ones.

If you don’t believe what we’re telling you to be true, then we’re sorry. You’re one of those guys who’s going to have to learn for himself. You’re going to learn the hard way, that warning signs should be heeded, and that physical positive qualities and emotional negative qualities must strike a delicate balance. If they don’t, you will find yourself trapped in a relationship with a woman who gives amazing blowjobs, but tries to stab you on a weekly basis.

What you need to take away from this lesson, is that crying over the mere thought of “all the cats in the world” is a red flag, and you must learn to observe and appropriately respond to those red flags, regardless of what your lizard brain is telling you.

4 Responses to "Crazy Chicks 101: An Introductory Course In Unstable Women"

  1. DonkeyXote says:

    Yet another attention-seeking whore looking to get famous by acting like a retard on YouTube

    Have a look at this one:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gDQesK0Ih4

  2. smorsh says:

    Why are you overlooking the fact that she’s obviously fat? Look at the size of her arms, look at the double chins when she cries! That is why she’s so damned into cats!

  3. Wilford Brimley's Monkey says:

    you guys at HT must either be some bearded 300 pound truckers who masturbate with cheeseburgers, or pimple ridden world-of-warcrafts gamers who piss in jars, because that chick is

    NOT HOT

    she is

    FAT

  4. morterforker says:

    Didn’t see the vid, must agree with author on this one.. SO TRUE… Crazy ladies are bomb in the sack, and can stalk [stab] the shit out of you. Try reasoning with one and you find yourself boning them yet again, only later to ask yourself… wtf did i just do???