I thought Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon was a card-carrying lesbian. I heard this rumor that she lived in Brooklyn with her girlfriend of four years. But this photo clearly shows her dating a handsome young man who looks like the winner of my middle school’s science fair. Did Cynthia take the Ted Haggard path to heterosexuality? Or did she…oh, wait. That’s a chick. My bad. Nevermind. She’s still a lesbian. I just saw that photo and immediately was all “young chubby dude!” We’re good here. Carry on.