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Dear Cigarettes

Dear Cigarettes,

Hey, how’ve you been? I know we haven’t talked in a few years, but I was just thinking about you the other day. I was just kind of reminiscing. We have quite a history, don’t we?

Remember our first time? That was a trip. We kind of got off to a rough start. Not going to lie, I didn’t really like you at first, but you kind of grew on me. That first summer we spent together was really cool, until my parents found out we were seeing each other, then she tried to break us up? We had to meet up in secret. In bathrooms, behind dumpsters, in the backyard late at night. I didn’t care though. I just wanted to see you as much as I could. My parents and all the other adults around me just said I was too young. They said I was being naive, that I didn’t understand. But they didn’t understand, they didn’t understand the hold you had on me.

Once I turned eighteen things were cool though, we got to see each other whenever we wanted. We hung out so much, you made me sick, but I didn’t care. A lot of my friends didn’t want me to see you.  They were always talking shit. They said you were a waste of my time and money. They said you made me stink, but I said the only stink on me is the stink of true love.

I talked to coffee the other day. Remember when the three of us used to hang out at all night restaurants? That was great, me, you and coffee. There was never a trio so inseparable. I really don’t hang out with coffee anymore, because it makes me miss you too much, and it makes me shit.

I still talk to beer, probably more than I should. God, did the three of us have some amazing times!  Beer asked how you were doing, and I said we stopped seeing each other. He was surprised at first, but he wishes us both the best. I gave him your email address.

So, I hope you’re doing ok. I’d like to say we should get together sometime, but that will never happen. Especially when you’re twelve dollars a pack.


10 Responses to "Dear Cigarettes"

  1. Mexican Jesus says:

    I wrote the same letter to a 12″ double headed dong. . . man, good times. . . . .

  2. DonkeyXote says:

    Excuuuuuuuuuuse me, but smoking doesn’t have the same camaraderie as drinking does, ’cause you don’t say to mates – “oww DUUUDE, remember that time we got drunked, we were sooo shit-faced (insert random funny, silly and memorable anecdote)”. Whereas with smoking you can’t, it’d be something like. “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude member that time time smoked 18 packs of cigs and we so fucking sick, you alomost coughed up a lung”

    Seriously, that shit ought to be de-legalised!

  3. CORNRAPE says:

    DonkeyXote……shut the fuck up.

  4. bad acid trip says:

    really well written and really funny

  5. Ape says:

    I love cigs, I hope we never stop talking.

  6. Lucky Camel says:

    A prose which have seen a Bukowski poem in the past, before all this things called internet, blog and Facebook…
    I like it a lot.