Computers and cellphones aside, the future isn’t exactly what I had expected. I’ve yet to drive a hover-car, my home is not filled with holograms, and the closest I can get to a sexbot is duct taping my Fleshlight to my Roomba. No, this isn’t at all the world I envisioned as a child. But all of that is about to change thanks to a man, or should I say hero, named Mark Zable.
Zable, a chef from Texas, has spent the past three years perfecting a recipe that will revolutionize the way Americans (and Canadians) become both overweight and intoxicated. His hard work has finally paid off, and the culinary creator is set to unveil his creation at the Texas State Fair in late September. The invention in question: deep-fried beer.
No, I’m not talking about a random food item that’s been beer battered and deep fried. And I’m not talking about some sort of beer-flavored snack that’s had the alcohol burned away in the cooking process. I’m talking about honest-to-goodness deep-fried beer. It goes into the fryer, and comes out ready to eat, and if you eat enough, you will get drunk. This, my friends, is the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
How does Zable go against the laws of God and man by deep-frying a liquid, and how in the name of all that is holy does he keep the alcohol from burring off? I’m glad you asked.
The beer is placed inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then dunked in oil at 375 degrees for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic. When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious taste sensation.
The world, as we know it, is about to change forever. No longer will we be forced to carry both food and beer back to our seats when attending sporting events. No longer will people have to pee every twenty minutes while trying to get drunk. No longer will I have to answer “yes” when asked if I’ve been “drinking” at a DUI checkpoint.
And just think of the endless possibilities that will stem from this creation: deep-fried tequila tacos, vodka-filled pierogi, Hot Pockets stuffed to the gills with Wild Turkey! The sky is the limit!
Now, without having tasted the item in question, I can’t be 100% certain that it’s everything I hope it will be. But unless it ends up tasting like Amy Winehouse’s mouth, I’m pretty sure it will be a hit. And even if it does taste like a mix between death and ass, it will probably do well. After all, if it gets you drunk, people will develop a taste for it. It’s not as if everyone loves beer the first time they have it, but somehow it’s managed to catch on. Why should deep-fried beer be any different?
It’s a brave new world. (Source)
Good luck getting drunk on a teaspoon of beer.
Also First.
you missed the point firster.
Yeh, like…wouldn’t you eat more than one?
Goes the same for food o.O
And normal beer, damn you
(I guess you could be a pussy about it and put something stronger in there so you can get pissed from a Jack Daniels Taco =D)