Diablo Cody is upset. Apparently there are some people out there who absolutely hated Juno, and that just makes her want to kill their ugly faces. Luckily, Diablo (or “Devil” to our friends south of the border) is not prone to violence toward strangers. Instead, she’s chosen to attack her critics with her gift of prose. She wrote about the issue extensively on her Myspace blog earlier this week, and in her post she repeatedly berates the people who didn’t like Juno, and talks at length about how talented and successful she is. Here are some excerpts:
“..I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money.”
“…Incidentally, if you were me for one day you’d crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you.”
“…I can’t help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me.”
“…I know my name is fake and that it annoys you…but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.”
I wish that she would just write a movie about jamming toxic silicon toys up her ass, instead of focusing on angsty teenage youth. I guarantee nobody would complain about that movie. Instead, though, she claims to have written a screenplay about the single most boring aspect of her entire life: people hating her. I found a page of the aforementioned script in the gutter by my house (or possibly inside Diablo’s house). It looks like it’s only a draft because she’s marked it up with all kinds of notes to herself, but it’s still pretty shitty. Check it out:
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