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Diablo Cody Hates People Who Hate Her

Diablo Cody is upset. Apparently there are some people out there who absolutely hated Juno, and that just makes her want to kill their ugly faces. Luckily, Diablo (or “Devil” to our friends south of the border) is not prone to violence toward strangers. Instead, she’s chosen to attack her critics with her gift of prose. She wrote about the issue extensively on her Myspace blog earlier this week, and in her post she repeatedly berates the people who didn’t like Juno, and talks at length about how talented and successful she is. Here are some excerpts:

“..I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money.”

“…Incidentally, if you were me for one day you’d crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you.”

“…I can’t help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me.”

“…I know my name is fake and that it annoys you…but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.”

I wish that she would just write a movie about jamming toxic silicon toys up her ass, instead of focusing on angsty teenage youth. I guarantee nobody would complain about that movie. Instead, though, she claims to have written a screenplay about the single most boring aspect of her entire life: people hating her. I found a page of the aforementioned script in the gutter by my house (or possibly inside Diablo’s house). It looks like it’s only a draft because she’s marked it up with all kinds of notes to herself, but it’s still pretty shitty. Check it out:

10 Responses to "Diablo Cody Hates People Who Hate Her"

  1. </a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-28993">May 13, 2009 at 9:51 am</a></div> <p>Excuse me. A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.<br /> I am from Kiribati and know bad English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: “carmaker avtovaz has offered the ebrd a stake in its long discussed joint an avtovaz offical is quoted by daily.Com with free online dictionary, pronunciation, synonyms, and translation.”</p> <p>With love <img src='http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif' alt=':-D' class='wp-smiley' /> , Chrissy.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-19008"> <div id="comment-19008" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">f-bomb</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19008">September 18, 2008 at 9:52 pm</a></div> <p>Notice how on her MySpace page she only accepts the comments by sycophantic lemmings. That’s like me saying I’m the best lay ever but only letting my right hand comment about it online.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-19009"> <div id="comment-19009" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn"><a href='http://blogs.timesunion.com/classconflict' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>Brandon Mendelson</a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19009">September 18, 2008 at 10:42 pm</a></div> <p>You know, it’s worth pointing out the academy only gives those things out to people who put hamburger telephones in their screenplays.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-19010"> <div id="comment-19010" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn"><a href='http://tunhguod.com' rel='external nofollow' class='url'>doughnut</a></cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19010">September 18, 2008 at 11:23 pm</a></div> <p>Let this be a lesson to all:</p> <p>Don’t tip your strippers too much… Because they might end up writing another Juno. Guh.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-19011"> <div id="comment-19011" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Jay T.</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19011">September 19, 2008 at 12:39 am</a></div> <p>I thought Juno was okay… and I thought some people were being overly harsh about Diablo Cody’s writing. Then I read a few of her columns in Entertainment Weekly, and after fighting back the immediate urge to hang myself in response to her childish and boring prose (you know you’ve written something truly horrible when someone who had to read Moby Dick and Henry James’ The Ambassadors in the same semester of college can’t even make it through all 800 words), decided that she, like, totally sucks.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-19012"> <div id="comment-19012" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">johnboy</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19012">September 19, 2008 at 6:52 am</a></div> <p>…i would still penis her</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-19013"> <div id="comment-19013" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Jaimo</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19013">September 20, 2008 at 11:05 pm</a></div> <p>I’m pretty sure it was a big mix-up… The oscar presentation, I mean. The Academy mistakingly gave the silicon toy oscar, intended for Cody, to Daniel Day Lewis for his performance in “There Will Be Blood”.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-19014"> <div id="comment-19014" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">Dr.</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19014">September 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm</a></div> <p>I never saw nor will see Juno because I don’t want to watch the Janeane Garofalo wannabe going through a teen pregnancy. She’s sooo over being too cool for anything. </p> <p>I see her smug, shitty face on posters/magazines and it makes me want to break stuff.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment even thread-even depth-1" id="li-comment-19015"> <div id="comment-19015" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">K.Inez</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19015">September 22, 2008 at 3:48 pm</a></div> <p>You all sound so… bitter.</p> </div> </li> <li class="comment odd alt thread-odd thread-alt depth-1" id="li-comment-19016"> <div id="comment-19016" class="commentListBox "> <div class="comment-author vcard"> <cite><cite class="fn">blordegn</cite> <span class="says">says:</span></cite> </div> <div class="comment-meta commentmetadata"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/diablo-cody-hates-people-who-hate-her/#comment-19016">September 23, 2008 at 12:32 am</a></div> <p>we all fre</p> </div> </li> </ol> </div> </div> <div id="column-right"> <div class="block"> <div id="re_ad_300x250"> <!-- begin ad-tag 300x250 --> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"> <script type="text/javascript"> googletag.cmd.push(function () { googletag.display("div-gpt-ad-1362699458765-1"); }); </script> </div> <!-- end ad tag --> </div> </div> <!-- START OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING TO COPY-PASTE --> <div id="mediaplayer" class="mediaplayer block"> <textarea class="lazyload-right"> <h2 class="heading"> This Street Fight Is So Well Filmed It’s Almost Art </h2> <div class="mediaplayerBox"> <iframe src="//break.com/embed/2655550?embed=1" width="300" height="250" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen frameborder="0"></iframe> </div> </textarea> </div> <!-- END OF THE PLAYER EMBEDDING --> </div> <br clear="all" /> </div> <!-- content end --> </div> <div class="footer_wraper"> <div class="footer"> <ul class="network_sites"> <li class="break"><a href="http://www.break.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Videos">Break.com</a></li> <li class="mademan"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/" target="_blank" title="Men's Guide">Made Man</a></li> <li class="gamefront"><a href="http://www.gamefront.com/" target="_blank" title="Game Front">Game Front</a></li> <li class="screenjunkies"><a href="http://www.screenjunkies.com/" target="_blank" title="Movie Reviews">Screen Junkies</a></li> <li class="cagepotato"><a href="http://www.cagepotato.com/" target="_blank" title="MMA News">Cage Potato</a></li> <li class="chickipedia"><a href="http://www.mademan.com/chickipedia/" target="_blank" title="Hot Pictures">Chickipedia</a></li> <li class="holytaco last"><a href="http://www.holytaco.com/" target="_blank" title="Funny Stuff">Holy Taco</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> if(typeof _brkPVO == 'undefined') var _brkPVO = 'pe=a&pi=4181'; (function() { var brkpv = document.createElement('script'); brkpv.type = 'text/javascript';brkpv.async = true;brkpv.src = 'http://media1.break.com/break/js/lamp/pageview.min.js?v=221'; document.body.appendChild(brkpv); })(); </script> <!--Plugin Missed Schedule 2013.0130.2222 Active - Key Tag: bkytCi8L522P8RbgYIlkQbL6Yz4JDvIWlTlXN5q776Yvq5t7gxkCvB643C7osdFV6--> <!-- Universal Footer --> <script type="text/javascript" data-site-id="HolyTaco" id="js-UniversalFooter"> (function() { var uf = document.createElement('script'), s = document.getElementById('js-UniversalFooter'); uf.type = 'text/javascript'; uf.src = '//cdn.sites.break.com/wp-content/themes/sites.break/universal-footer/UniversalFooter.js'; s.parentNode.insertBefore(uf, s); })(); </script> <div id="tracking" style="height:0px; width:0px; overflow:hidden;"> <!-- Start Comscore Beacon --> <script type="text/javascript"> document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + (document.location.protocol == "https:" ? 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