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Dick Clark Makes New Years Awkward Again

Dick "America’s Favorite Old, Confused Stroke Victim" Clark dicked up the New Year’s Countdown again this year.  This isn’t the first time he’s f*cked up the countdown, but it will be the last. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Dick Clark will die in 2010.  I just hope that he does a countdown to his own death and f*cks it up, because then at his eulogy people can say things like, "Dick died the way he lived: f*cking up countdowns and making pivotal moments uncomfortable for everyone."

39 Responses to "Dick Clark Makes New Years Awkward Again"

  1. Roswel says:

    The man can barely speak, is pathetic.

  2. Jeff says:

    You are a heartless jerk that knows nothing about music history. I hope you rot in hell you piece of garbage.

  3. Jeff says:

    you heartless piece of garbage. Rot in hell.

  4. The Train says:

    what sucks is that this is a simple mistake that could have happened to anyone–but because he’s had a stroke, it’s easy to make the assumption that the two are connected.

    also: kudos to the editors of holy taco for recognizing that one of the jobs of comedy is to push buttons. even bad, unfunny comedy.

  5. pratik says:

    Shit, does he really sound that like now? I was expecting him to go “NYEHHHH! NYEHHHHH!!!” when the countdown hit 0.

  6. shaun says:

    Some things are funny some are not…..And that post is not. Try again!!!!

  7. boop de doop says:

    There’s a difference between wishing Dick Clark dead and wishing he didn’t host the New Years Show anymore. Wishing him dead in two separate (and unfunny) posts is even more absurd. At least you know how to pick your battles (with old tv-icon stroke victims).

  8. Dong Johnson says:

    I wonder who Dick Clark kissed at the STROKE of midnight.

  9. boop de doop says:

    See? THAT’S how you do it!

  10. Russ says:

    Dude your comment is about as funny as watching someone pick on a person with down syndrome. I usually find this site funny, but what a thing to say about and wish for a person over something like that. Got to say I’m glad I don’t actually have to associate with you in any way. Have fun making fun of the mentally impaired! Next up, the Holocaust!

  11. FunkyMunkey says:

    Totally distasteful, bullshit post. A stroke is such a difficuly thing to come back from, so much respect to him.

    You sick cunt.

  12. Nurse Buttplug says:

    Haha, so many angry, angry young men. He sure dicked it up, Timmy! When Americans get angry, they go shootin’ liberals. “Damn those liberals and their ungodly way, we be shootin’ them like Jesus would!”

  13. SpatterHouse says:

    its difficult to feel sorry for a very wealthy man who had a life that anyone would be happy to have had.

    that said, the republican Turds/crony capitalists can always blame ‘them librals’


  14. justin says:
     Woah, woah, woah. Nobody is wishing anyone dead.  I’m predicting someone dead. That’s totally different.
  15. Big D says:

    Who ever made the initial comment, Your a piece of Shit. What if this was your family member. I hope you die in 2010 and Dick pisses no, takes a shit on your grave. You will burn in hell for that one.

  16. Yo yo says:

    First of all, that was his wife he was kissing. He is a brillant man who has created wonderful entertainment for years. He should be allowed to do what he wants, this is His show and although his speech was definitely slurred, he tries his best. Leave him alone and complain about somebody else.
    Also what do you care anyway?

  17. strokin it says:

    Just to let you know, he hasn’t bounced back from anything.

    get him off the air. It makes New Year’s depressing every year he’s still on.

  18. Whale says:

    Like dragging out a corpse.
    Give the guy some dignity and DON’T put him on TV.

    Though, he probably counts better than your last president. ha ha.

  19. Dig B says:

    You may be in luck with the latter part anyway, Dick doesn’t seem like he’s that sure where to go to the toilet any more. Maybe if you feed him some Indian food and push him in the general direction…

  20. S**T Does HAPPEN says:

    We were all saying 5 years ago “Dick Clark hasn’t aged ONE BIT” but it looks like he’s gone downhill… like VERTICAL down in the last couple years… WOW… Plastic surgery works on everything but the GRAY MATTER… better hope they get the Fetal Stem Cell laws changed or he wont be around for very much longer.

  21. T.T says:

    You sir, have obviously never witnessed someone pick on a person with down syndrome. Hi-larious.

  22. T.T says:

    And i think you meant the lolocaust.
    Comedy. Gold.

  23. Dick Clark says:

    I don’t understand the fuss. I regularly read and enjoy HT and the articles therein. Furthermore, tonotonotonotono…

  24. Pvt. Eye says:

    Air Force

  25. jwhit016 says:

    You are a complete idiot for posting this. I used to look at holy taco everyday and now my goal in life is to bring it down.

  26. T.T says:

    Aim high.

  27. Pink tacos are brain food says:

    That was a totally pethetic thing for you to say. You better pray that you die quickly and not a slow, painful death. You could easily end up in a similar condition under the new Obama health care plan…elsewise..you will be shot and gound up into liberals coffee brew.

  28. G.W.Bush says:

    you are an idiot to bring up things that you have no idea what you are talking about. i guess your life was better under a lying dumb ass president named G.W. Bush. you are a dumb ass.

  29. BrutalDeluxe says:

    I realize this is an old post and nobody will read this, but fuck the three of you with a broom, bristle end first.

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  31. tlester4130 says:

    fourth! er, sixth, er second….

  32. DickClarkisSatan says:

    Justin I take this upon you to see that he dies of “natural causes”

  33. michael hunt says:

    you are sure to burn in hell for that. remember this exact post the moment of your death or your own stroke.

  34. TimmyD2X1 says:

    Screw you dickneck. Dick Clark is cooler than you’ll ever hope to be. He had a stroke and got back up and did it again. I bet if you did as much as cut your finger you’d spend the rest of your days lying around shitting yourself.

  35. BlackZepellin says:

    That was good

  36. Richard Tucker says:

    He reminds me of that guy who can only say “tono.”

  37. BlackZepellin says:

    1 2 3 tonotonotonotono

  38. Luchinen says:

    Hahah! What the fuck??? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to let this geriatric fuck on TV? I could hardly understand a thing he said.

  39. Anonymousdffs says:

    hooo… mister big man is going to bring down holy taco.. fuck you and your goal in life bitchtits…