As I watched the video of this dog drum along to this hipster song, something occurred to me: This one-pawed dog drummer sounds a lot like Rick Allen, the one-armed human drummer of Def Leppard. Having owned Pyromania, Hysteria and High ‘n’ Dry in my younger years, I was very familiar with Rick’s drumming technique. (Being the visionary that he is, Rick actually managed to sound like a one-armed drummer before he even lost his arm.) Here’s proof:
So which drummer reigns supreme? Let’s break it down:
Reason for single-arm technique: Rick Allen: Lost his left arm when he was thrown from his car in a grisly, cocaine-fueled accident. Dog Drummer: Is probably just responding to someone scratching it’s leg and not actually drumming at all. Winner: Rick Allen.
Career Highpoint: Rick Allen: Touring the world and living the life of a millionaire rock star. Dog Drummer: Appearing in a 50-second Internet video. Winner: Rick Allen
Career Lowpoint: Rick Allen: Still has to play “Pour Some Sugar On Me” every night of every tour. Dog Drummer: Appearing in a 50-second Internet video. Winner: Dog Drummer
Intangibles: Rick Allen: Has had sex with more women than you’ve had hot meals. Dog Drummer: Can lick own butthole. Winner: Tie
Genitalia status: Rick Allen: Probably has all of his genitals. Dog Drummer: Probably spayed or neutered. Huge Winner: Rick Allen
Final Verdict: Rick Allen 3, Dog Drummer 1
So there you have it. Rick Allen handily defeats the Dog Drummer in the battle of the world’s most famous drummers, who, for whatever reason, only use one arm/paw when drumming.
But, just in case you wondered what it would look like if the Dog Drummer was the drummer for Def Leppard instead of Rick Allen…