Douchebags are a lot like herpes: they're everywhere, and they all possess many common traits, but there are also many different strains of douchebag. It's important to be able to distinguish the traits of your region's strain of douchebag so that you have a better idea of what you're dealing with. That's why we've created this helpful guide to Douchebags of the United States.
I didn't see too many of these guys... in fact, I rarely saw them. The real douches up there are the ones with skull and tribal tattoos and emo or gangsta clothes. They act like they are so emo or gangsta, but boy do they come off looking really stupid. They always looked so ridiculously out of place that I laughed at them every time I drove by them.
That girl on the back of the Eski-bro doesn't look half bad and everyone knows there is not even one attractive girl in the State of Alaska. The saying up there is that "there is a hot girl behind every tree, however, there isn't a tree for a thousand miles."
texas is in the south, if you divide up the nation its almost directly in the center, not south west or south east, just south central, you can't argue about it because it doesnt move away from the other states, like that whore California.
It's not about where the state is located on the map, it's about the culture of the state. And in this case, Texas is distinctly Southwestern, especially when you compare it to places like Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, and other strongly southern states.
I'd add "truck nutz" to the Ghetto Redneck list. Who the hell wants to be behind a truck w/ a pair of dangling, rubbery, realistic looking nuts?? Tres douchey. I see them all the time around Austin and Houston.
You need to learn the difference between rednecks and white trash. The two classes overlap but there are big differences. For one thing, while rednecks drive pickup trucks, they wouldn't be caught dead in a lowered one and they sure as hell would never flash gang signs. The guy in the Ghetto Redneck picture are obviously white trash, not rednecks.
yeahh. there arent any guidos but we get plenty of saguar-bros and eski-bros. jersey is a mix of em all. our state should be called "the douchebag state"
Talkin' way to loud is running off @ the mouth, boasting about shit you've never done, claiming things you could never do and generally trying to sound like you're bad ass when w/out 9 of your friends around you would hide in the back of the room w/ your bitch ass mouth shut.
Man... you guys are really stretching it for this one.
California can easily be divided up into about 4 different regions.
You got a weird mix of Southern Cali and San Luis Obispo there
They arn't into amature tattooes in arkansas but real ones. We also go fishing, like guns and bow hunting. Chasing niggers, drinkin and growing our own food
it really bothers me that you think chasing "niggers" is appropriate. i am white and i am married to an black southern man and i wouldnt have it any other way. i grew up in an enviroment where racisim did and still does not exsist. i have then since for the past four years been apart of the U.S. Navy and i have shocked with all of the different ppl i have met. what i mean by this is the majority of ppl that have those views of blacks being "niggers" have been raised with these ideals and reaching an age of accountablity they didnt think for themselves. so just because you are raised to believe what your closed minded elders think doesnt give it an excuse to repeat history and not have your own original thoughts. it really makes me sad that in this new age our generation there are still lost ppl that think life is about discrimination and hate. it is not okay to put something like the phrase "chasing niggers". leave that out, it isnt important to announce that you are racsist.
Looks like the Eastern portion of PA is included in the Northeast section. I live in Philly and did a double take. They sliced the state. Although I would have only put the Southeast part of PA in with the Northeast, simply due to it's liberal views compared to the rest of the state. I'd also include WV in the South.
I think they were going more for "feel" than actual boundaries. Most of PA and NY "feels" like the Midwest.
(70 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
October 28th, 2009 at 10:31 am
HAHAHAHAHA YOU SPELLED IT COY FISH
October 28th, 2009 at 11:04 am
the pic in the northeast douchebags is from a nightclub in budapest. http://www.partyphoto.hu
theres plenty more where that came from
October 28th, 2009 at 11:12 am
HAHAHA ... you must be a douchebag from the north east.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Budapest is in Hungary, douche...
November 9th, 2009 at 05:49 pm
lol obviously you've never been to Jersey. They are definitely NOT from Budapest.
October 28th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Check your grammar, fool.
October 28th, 2009 at 11:45 am
LoL so true
though LA you do tend to get a Mix of all these douchebags
October 28th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Eski-bro, hahahahaha. Not even Alaska escapes holytaco, love it.
October 29th, 2009 at 11:33 am
I didn't see too many of these guys... in fact, I rarely saw them. The real douches up there are the ones with skull and tribal tattoos and emo or gangsta clothes. They act like they are so emo or gangsta, but boy do they come off looking really stupid. They always looked so ridiculously out of place that I laughed at them every time I drove by them.
October 28th, 2009 at 11:58 am
you may need a north-northeast. ain't no guidos in NH, VT, or ME. Those douchebags hunt guidos for sport.
October 28th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
That girl on the back of the Eski-bro doesn't look half bad and everyone knows there is not even one attractive girl in the State of Alaska. The saying up there is that "there is a hot girl behind every tree, however, there isn't a tree for a thousand miles."
October 29th, 2009 at 11:50 am
"Hot" doesn't win you points with the bears.
And logging, up there, is (or at least was) quite the booming business. I'd be blaming the loggers for your "missing" babes.
October 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Texas should be in the Southwest Region.
October 29th, 2009 at 02:14 pm
agreed! texas in the sw region for sure.
October 30th, 2009 at 08:00 am
Totally agreed! I've seen way too many Saguar-bro douchebags around Austin to even agree with the redneck one.
November 1st, 2009 at 11:38 pm
texas is in the south, if you divide up the nation its almost directly in the center, not south west or south east, just south central, you can't argue about it because it doesnt move away from the other states, like that whore California.
November 8th, 2009 at 04:33 pm
It's not about where the state is located on the map, it's about the culture of the state. And in this case, Texas is distinctly Southwestern, especially when you compare it to places like Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, and other strongly southern states.
November 21st, 2009 at 05:59 am
I'd add "truck nutz" to the Ghetto Redneck list. Who the hell wants to be behind a truck w/ a pair of dangling, rubbery, realistic looking nuts?? Tres douchey. I see them all the time around Austin and Houston.
October 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Right on the spot for the southwest. Down to the Borat quoting. Fantastic!
October 30th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Very nice, high five!
October 28th, 2009 at 01:57 pm
You need to learn the difference between rednecks and white trash. The two classes overlap but there are big differences. For one thing, while rednecks drive pickup trucks, they wouldn't be caught dead in a lowered one and they sure as hell would never flash gang signs. The guy in the Ghetto Redneck picture are obviously white trash, not rednecks.
November 1st, 2009 at 04:40 pm
He could be a hick. Rednecks are respectable, but White trash and hicks aren't. They're the ignorant ones.
October 28th, 2009 at 01:59 pm
lol!! notice it's only white guys!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!
October 29th, 2009 at 12:04 am
good job alex
October 29th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Guido's are white?
October 29th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Yeah, guidos are actually more orange than white.
October 28th, 2009 at 02:38 pm
Im in the southwest, and the description couldnt be anymore accurate xD
October 28th, 2009 at 03:02 pm
There's none of that Guido shit in South Jersey (Unless they come down to vacation at the store.)
We're a area all our own.
October 28th, 2009 at 04:36 pm
they teach the english there in south jersey?
October 28th, 2009 at 05:29 pm
Jersey should have an area of their own...there are douchebags there
November 1st, 2009 at 04:42 pm
*an area*
November 8th, 2009 at 04:25 pm
i agree with Stick. i havent seen a single Guido here in lovely South Jersey, but ive seen every other kind of douche here.
November 21st, 2009 at 06:50 pm
yeahh. there arent any guidos but we get plenty of saguar-bros and eski-bros. jersey is a mix of em all. our state should be called "the douchebag state"
October 28th, 2009 at 05:46 pm
Bro-hams:
fire your editor(s) and hire a 5th grader. WTF is "talking way to loud in public"?
October 28th, 2009 at 08:21 pm
Talkin' way to loud is running off @ the mouth, boasting about shit you've never done, claiming things you could never do and generally trying to sound like you're bad ass when w/out 9 of your friends around you would hide in the back of the room w/ your bitch ass mouth shut.
October 28th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
idiot. he was referring to the grammatical mistake. "to" instead of "too".
October 28th, 2009 at 09:15 pm
you hit the south in the mouth!
November 21st, 2009 at 06:52 pm
wwhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt???!!!!
October 29th, 2009 at 07:24 am
What the fuck?
why the hell is holy taco sucking the cocks of latinos,puerto ricans?
new york is full of latino scum buckets.Fucking brown shit faces
October 29th, 2009 at 10:31 am
awww, someone's girlie got plooked in the pooper by a latin man? you poooor baaaby. . .
October 29th, 2009 at 08:28 pm
I like eat tacos and play futbol. P.S. I also mow lawns and wash dishes.
Don't hate me because you want to live my life cracker.
October 29th, 2009 at 08:55 pm
I've dated both Jews and Latinos and by far, Latinos are better lovers. You sound like any other miserable, whiny Jew who can't get any.
October 29th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Man... you guys are really stretching it for this one.
California can easily be divided up into about 4 different regions.
You got a weird mix of Southern Cali and San Luis Obispo there
October 29th, 2009 at 01:54 pm
They arn't into amature tattooes in arkansas but real ones. We also go fishing, like guns and bow hunting. Chasing niggers, drinkin and growing our own food
October 30th, 2009 at 08:43 am
it really bothers me that you think chasing "niggers" is appropriate. i am white and i am married to an black southern man and i wouldnt have it any other way. i grew up in an enviroment where racisim did and still does not exsist. i have then since for the past four years been apart of the U.S. Navy and i have shocked with all of the different ppl i have met. what i mean by this is the majority of ppl that have those views of blacks being "niggers" have been raised with these ideals and reaching an age of accountablity they didnt think for themselves. so just because you are raised to believe what your closed minded elders think doesnt give it an excuse to repeat history and not have your own original thoughts. it really makes me sad that in this new age our generation there are still lost ppl that think life is about discrimination and hate. it is not okay to put something like the phrase "chasing niggers". leave that out, it isnt important to announce that you are racsist.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Based on his "name," I think he was being facetious...
October 30th, 2009 at 06:19 pm
New douche category, just for YOU then. The Douche Supremacist.
Go have a hunting accident.
October 31st, 2009 at 08:09 pm
LOL
He's joking you bunch of whining pussies.
October 29th, 2009 at 01:55 pm
Why the fuck is WV, PA, and half of NY in the midwest? This shit is lame.
October 29th, 2009 at 06:02 pm
Looks like the Eastern portion of PA is included in the Northeast section. I live in Philly and did a double take. They sliced the state. Although I would have only put the Southeast part of PA in with the Northeast, simply due to it's liberal views compared to the rest of the state. I'd also include WV in the South.
I think they were going more for "feel" than actual boundaries. Most of PA and NY "feels" like the Midwest.
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