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Drunken Argument Friday: Alcohol Vs. Pot

drunken argument, argument, drunk, drinking, funny
 Drunken Argument For Alcohol:
Alcohol is the greatest substance in the entire universe. Adding alcohol to any situation turns it from "boring time" to "holy shit, did you just see what that chick did to that bar stool?" Add pot to any situation and it turns it from a "boring time" to a bunch of people sitting around, looking at their hands, giggling and saying stupid shit like, "Heyyyyy maaaannnnn, check it out, maaaaaaan. I’m on pot maannnnnn." Hanging around people who are stoned is like hanging out at an old person’s home. No one does ANYTHING and when they do attempt to do something, they do it really, really slowly.  Booze, on the other hand, fills people with life and energy. Sure, you have to deal with some idiot kicking a hole in your wall because he’s trying to act out a video he saw on Break.com, but hey, there’s a downside to everything.
Booze is better, and the hangovers are just a reminder of the good times you had last night.

Drunken Argument For Pot:
Listen, I don’t hate booze, I just like weed better.  It’s like the difference between Saved by the Bell the College Years, and Saved by the Bell; both totally awesome, one is just a little less awesome because it had Mike Golic in it.  In this case, Mike Golic is the hangover you get from drinking.  Weed makes everything better, and no one has ever said “Man, I smoked way too much weed last night and long story short, I might have herpes.” 
Plus, even if you smoke a ton of weed it doesn’t make people fight like alcohol does.  I don’t have to worry that my girlfriend is going to smoke too much weed and then start screaming at me because she thinks I was staring at some girl who looks slightly similar to my ex-girlfriend.   And no pot head has ever said “What the f*&k bro, you bumped into me.  Let’s take this shit outside.”  Plus, the high you get from weed makes things that normally would suck incredibly hard, super enjoyable.  Like Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  There’s no amount of drunk that could make that enjoyable, but two joints in and it’s “the funniest move ever made, dude, oh my god, so f*&kin funny.  The part where fat queen of kings dude slips and then is crawling on the, hahaha, you know, hahaha?”
So, what say you folks?  Weed or Booze?

87 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: Alcohol Vs. Pot"

  1. Roman says:

    Let’s see WEED or BOOZE…well seeing how I like both but dislike PRISON SEX MORE….I’m going with BOOOZE…LEAGALIZE IT PEOPLE!!!!

  2. Greg says:

    But I already have the strength of 50 men.

  3. cory says:
    Do you sell beef jerky in the shape of tits? Because if you do, we would like to buy some.
  4. fingfangfoom says:

    I smoke weed everyday all day, and, in the words of toothless idjits everywhere, still manage to “git r done”. When I occasionally drink way to much, I cant remember anything at all, let alone what I did or did not do. After a heavy night of bong abuse ive never woken up with some fattyfatfat blue veined fur-lipped cheese assed flobble titted gap toothed crosseyed turkeynecked rockmonster that my only hope was that I was too drunk to actually achieve an erection with. Pot for the win.

  5. Anonymous says:

    funny becuz i actually saw paul blart high….and then saw observe and report high, and though they were definitely better then they would have been under sober observation, they still both sucked.

  6. Anonymous says:

    i’m fucking wasted right now but i wish i was also high so…

  7. Claynoid says:

    well then you need drunk people to have a good time then is what youre saying. booze wins

  8. kaahl says:

    im impressed your car goes 210 mph

  9. Anonymous says:

    Thats fucking nuts!! Booze is way worse than pot. Pot wins everytime. Yea we laugh all the time but mostly because we are watching drunk people piss themself or geting there ass kicked because they stumbled into someone!

  10. Anthony Ceaser says:

    How does that amount of money you make have anything to do with the argument of weed or alcohol?

  11. Taco Perkins says:

    Man, shiiiiit! That muthafucka in SBTB:TCY was Bob Golic! Mike Golic that clean cut muthafucka on ESPN in the morning and shit. Tacooooooooo Perkiiiins!!!!

  12. Penis says:


  13. Sheriff says:

    oh eat a fat dick holy taco. i smoke a shitload of pot every day and make more money than this website would ever make even if it sold beef jerky in the shape of tits.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Weed fo sho.

  15. Kevin says:

    I like to use both in tandem. However you have to start with beer and end on weed. partying in reverse order lends itself to a lack of interest in drinking and a rapid set in of fatigue.

    Also, nothing cures a hangover more effectively than a nice fat bowl.

  16. Anonymous says:


  17. Manbearpig says:

    LOL, You’re going to hell.

  18. Amber says:

    Sex..was that an option?

  19. Dee STROY Are says:

    Whoever wrote the first argument is a moron and has never smoked pot.

    I hate you. Please die slowly, preferably somewhere in Somalia.

  20. mudslngr1 says:


  21. -N-Game says:

    Thats your opinion. Sir

  22. Sheriff says:

    hahahaha…so well put i cant even think of a better way to thank you for your words other than thanks

  23. Anonymous says:


    I feel that I function better while high, as opposed to drunk. NO hangover EVER. In fact, I usually feel better when I wake up the next morning than I might have had I been totally sober the night before.

  24. Smokey says:

    probably smoking

  25. Anonymous says:

    Alcohol, of course.

  26. fingfangfoom says:

    only a complete asshole would ever use the word “ergo” in a sentence except one in which you are pointing out how only assholes use the word “ergo”.

  27. Bo Jangles says:

    I dunno… that dude smoking weed in Dazed and Confused was pretty f’n mean.

    I’m going with alcohol.

  28. Sickpigs.com says:

    Weed makes you stupid.

    Booze makes you stupid, but it also gives you the strength of 50 men!

    Booze wins! Booze wins!


  29. Anonymous says:

    seriously.. booze

  30. ko0pa says:


  31. Rupert says:


  32. Elizabeth says:

    marijuana all the wayyyy

  33. Ken H says:

    The better question is, if we give a girl booze or weed, what gives us the best chance of getting laid? I vote for booze, cause its easier to slip her a roofie.

  34. AnonymousG says:

    yummy.. im running dangerously low on my human flavored pizza dressing

  35. Hurricane Ditka says:

    This is the first time I’ve been drunk in time for drunken argument Friday! Wooo! Do I get a free t-shirt now?

    I prefer the juice.

  36. Smokey says:

    In true Friday spirit I vote for getting fucked up in general.

  37. Pierre says:

    hmm. it’s like saying:

    Driving cars or smoke weed?

    If you drive a car you will drive at 210 mph into a concrete wall and turn into human flavored pizza sauce. Ergo, weed is better.

    If you get hangovers from drinking alcohol, you are probably 17, or really dumb. I’m not saying “weed sucks” i’m saying you can enjoy alcohol without becoming an intoxicated clown. If your friends do, you need new friends.

  38. AnonymousG says:

    I’ll take a full C cup. My jerky mannequin just wants to fit in, he’s tired of all the teasing.

  39. Jerkules says:

    From that comment we can deduce that Pierre is both a moron and a snob.”If you drive a car you will drive at 210 mph into a concrete wall and turn into human flavored pizza sauce. Ergo, weed is better.” Worst argument ever

  40. C. Norris says:

    I like both. Alcohol is going to lose though. Way too many downsides if not used in moderation.
    However, alcohol does allow me to bare having sex with Justin’s mom with the lights on, so it does have its upsides. No matter how much weed I smoke, that bitch is still fug!!!

    on a side note; you guys going to count the votes by comment? You stoners forgot the voting panel…

  41. Anonymous says:

    I say you get your article correct first and then I will answer. Bob Golic is in Saved by The Bell : The College Years. He is Mike Golic’s older brother and is more of a badass then Mike Golic. MIKE GOLIC was never in the show. I’m disappointed HolyTaco in the accuracy of your article. Going with the inaccuracy of your article, I’m going to have to say that you were also inaccurate with the weed. Alcohol is so much better, although I believe weed should be legalized as it is less harmful then alcohol.

  42. Anonymous says:

    I suggest you reread your comment in hopes that you realize how much of a douche you sound…

    just a thought.

  43. Anonymous says:

    Ganja, and I don’t know what it’s like where some of you live, but you can find stoner chicks of all ages almost anywhere. At least in the area I live in.

  44. mezzanine says:


  45. Kelps says:

    I function better while high. Booze just feels like these nasty bugs that crawl through your body and eat you alive.

    When I’m really stoned, I obviously don’t function, but just afterwards or before it gets too stoney, I am functioning 50% more than soberly and 90% more than drunk.

    Plus edibles with pot in it taste better than any alcohol known to man.

    Also we don’t puke when we eat too much when stoned, unlike the drunkards.

  46. Brad says:

    I just think its kinda funny you are arguing which is better, alcohol or weed, while being drunk.

  47. bee bop says:

    Weed weed good for your heart the more you smoke it …. yea weed is better

  48. blackie says:

    Alcohol is the greatest.

  49. Paul says:

    trith be, i drunk now and i want weed, so weed wins!

  50. Mary Jo says:

    Weed, baby!

  51. lora says:

    weed. definatly weed. you dont get a hangover from weed, ya dont puke (well, if u eat too much you might), and i’ve only ever made freind from smoking up with someone like once. with alcohol you need to be happy already to get happier, with weed you’re just… happy :)

  52. RaraAvis says:

    Pot – hands down. With booze you pay for the high with incoherence and clumsiness. With pot it’s allll good.

  53. Liz says:

    Pot =) I’d rather be high than drunk. More chill.

  54. yo says:

    weed wins because i like my liver and kidneys….

  55. Anonymous says:

    Both in combination. At an all-night rager nothing is better. I start drinking, but it gets boring after a while, so smokin it up is an easy way to keep the party going.

    Using alcohol and weed in combination is good, but can be the more dangerous than either one alone.

    The good is that you get the psychological effects of marijuana, with the added confidence of booze. You wont get paranoid.

    This can be bad because the paranoia is what keeps you from doing stupid things. Being drunk and high is like being high with some of psychological effects dulled and a more relaxed feeling than marijuana alone.

    When you close your eyes you feel like a rocket ship blasting through space. And talking to drunk people is always entertaining. You are more mentally aware and capable than those on booze alone, and more relaxed and confident than those on weed alone.

  56. Anonymous says:

    High for sure. Oddly enough I saw Paul Blart last week while stoned, and I can say I found it much funnier than my non-stoned friends.

  57. thoreauly77 says:

    weed makes me close the blinds and listen to music, watch movies. i dance in the kitchen, cook food, and drink delicious cold beers. bad side to booze: limited mobility and crashing into things, people, etc. bad side to weed: pure, unadulterated laziness. weed wins for safety. booze wins for inspiration.


  58. mcrapey says:

    the only good thing about booze is that you can screw fat chicks and not care. I’ve thought to myself many times while drunk, “man that chick is gross but i could sooo bang her right now.”

  59. Anonymous says:

    I live in a land where I can get booze but not pot. I miss pot. Gimme the weed every time. HANGOVERS SUCK! That is the clincher for me. Way too many Sundays on the couch in agony from booze. Light it up and pass it around baby!

  60. Anonymous says:


  61. Anonymous says:

    Actually, the best way to pick up stoner chicks is to tell them to come up and have a smoke. It’s incredible easy, and if you smoked weed with girls before you would know what I mean.

  62. drthmaul says:

    Alcohol by a long shot. Weed doesn’t help you get chicks. Besides, stories are best told over a cold beer. And then another, and another, and then “This song rules!!” But really, booze gets my vote.

  63. holytacopaco says:

    i love you holy taco. you never stop the laughs

  64. DueceOnYoFoHead says:

    I would have to say weed for chill nights and when your watching movies, or when you have to go to the girlfriends parents house and listen to boring ass shit and look at dumb pictures all day (Who cares what the fuck you looked like when you were 5, you calling me a pedo or somethin?), and alcohol is for parties and social occasions.

  65. -N-Game says:

    LOL this is the best way to put it.

  66. Manbearpig says:

    At least you don’t wind up fucking fat chicks when you’re smoking weed. I can’t say that about booze though.

  67. Anonymous says:

    Why do you guys keep saying fat chicks wouldnt it be worse if it was an ugly chick??

  68. Anonymous says:

    As long as you get yours…

  69. Anonymous says:

    first one, then the other. Depending on the day, I usually prefer booze first

  70. Anonymous says:


    not even close

  71. coco7wewe says:

    pot ftw

  72. Jerkherky says:

    Uh dumbass, it was Bob Golic that was in Saved by the Bell: the College Years……geez

  73. Harry Balsagna says:

    i think that was intentional there chief.

  74. drthmaul says:

    Pehaps not. But you can stop 20 yards before the stop sign and you can get lost in places you’ve been a million times.

  75. GDuBB says:

    Weed is better. You cant kill someone with a car while your smoking. They always see the glow of the cherry.

  76. ZoSo471 says:

    i gotta say weed. it takes a lot of booze to get drunk. it just takes a couple puffs of weed and your there. plus beer get messy, everyones throwing up but there really isn’t any long term effects of weed unless. you smoke it often

  77. drthmaul says:

    Who said anything about picking up stoner chicks? Chicks are chicks and as you get a little older, you’ll find out that they tend not to go after stoners like back in high school. Funny how that works.

  78. Anonymous says:

    Man im already there!!

  79. Andrew says:

    Cannabis is better because it is less harmful, but booze is liquid confidence. It all depends on the situation, you get high to watch Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D, and pick up chicks with booze

  80. Anonymous says:

    liquor for the win

  81. Burt Destruction says:

    This is a tough argument as I am fond of both. In the end I think the reason for my decision came down to the poor judgment on the part of the alcohol argument. I have seldom ever felt happy about having a hangover as it has never reminded me of the fun I had the night before. It usually reminds me I have diarrhea and a splitting head ache.

  82. Anonymous says:

    Both. At the same time. As lil john has said time and again: “GET CRUNK!”

  83. Claynoid says:

    okay drunken argument friday……..between pot and alcohol…..DRUNKEN ARGUMENT FRIDAY. case closed

  84. www.hollywoodparkracetrack.net says:

    hahahahahahahaha good pics!!!

  85. Anonymous says:


  86. none muss says:


  87. Anonymous says:

    You drunk stoners forgot the vote window.

    My vote? Weed for sure. Getting drunk is for savages (often awesome). Getting stoned is for me. When I drink with friends, it gets to where thats all we are really doing, getting drunk. If I smoke out with friends, we do shit. It may be subdued shit but we are capable of functioning at something (movie, a game, hiking,etc). Drunks are full of life but incapable of getting it done (which is fun but costly).