If there's one thing we like to do more than drink, it's argue about really important stuff like what would be better: getting invaded by aliens, or getting abducted by them? Here's what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for Getting Invaded by Aliens:
Being invaded by aliens is way better than being abducted, for a few simple reasons: First, there's a good chance that, during an alien invasion, the aliens are not going to put their slimy little suction-cup fingers on your ballsack, so that's a good thing. Sure, they may shoot you with a laser of some sort, but at least they won't be counting the spokes on your butthole with the tip of a greasy tentacle. Also, alien invasions always happen during the day, and people are always abducted at night, and I hate being woken up in the middle of the night by anything, let alone some green midget who's shoving a tracking device into my dick tip. I'd much rather have my shitty workday interrupted by a massive alien attack. An alien invasion is something that would be experienced by a lot of people, so there would be some sense of community associated with it. There would be running, hiding, strategizing, and some pretty sweet explosions, guaranteed. There's a slight chance that you might survive the aliens' initial attack, and as we've learned from Hollywood, if you survive the first attack then you're going to meet up with another survivor who's a hot chick, and in a couple of days when the invasion is over, the two of you will be in love and you'll have accomplished some goal that you had a before the attack, and everything will be just great. If you don't survive the initial attack, then at least you died without having your prostate stimulated by a mucus-covered spaceman, like the abductee did, and considering that alternative, getting blown up by a giant space laser is a pretty good way to go out.
Drunken Argument for Getting Abducted by Aliens:
I welcome the smart, scientific aliens that are here for abductions. For one, they always use that cool ass beam of light to float you up into their ship. Having them visit is like getting a visit from your smart, curiously pervy uncle who's into magic and always wants to play doctor. Sure, you might get a probe in the ass, but it's better than getting a visit from a murderous, psychopathic uncle, hell-bent on killing you. You never hear of anyone being shot with a laser and killed while they're getting adbucted. The biggest complaint is a slight discomfort in the anal area and memory loss, which could easily happen to anyone after eating under-cooked chicken. Invasions are nothing like that. Where abductions could be passed off as friendly, slightly awkward scientific and medical experiments performed by a curious race of beings that just want to understand us, invasions are f*cking hostile, violent take-overs with death and destruction as the only goal. I've seen enough movies to know that when aliens attack, unless you have a gun or are able to fly an air force fighter jet, you're fucked. There's no reasoning with them, either, which is the only weapon that you or I possess. The chance of survival is zero percent in an alien invasion. I walk away with my life after an abduction. Sure, I'll be walking a little bit funny, but at least I'll be walking.
So, What Do You Think? Alien Invasion, or Alien Abduction?
I'm going with Invasion for the obvious reasons, you can fight your way out of that, the shame of the anal probe, that lasts a life time, or until you get a tube of Preperation-H so you can sit down, and wait to be probed yet again.
Invasion wins
If you get abducted and say you were, you end up in a mental asylum and saying that you were abducted
I'd rather eveyone believe me and keep my ass intact than have a sore ass and either be crazy homeless or just plain asylum crazy
invasion.. no contest. you can see some cool explosions an shit, and myb kill an alien or 2. but if u die in invasion i cant think of a better to go out then in some kind crazy explosion caused by extraterrestrials.
(12 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 14th, 2009 at 02:22 pm
gotta go with invasion. dying would be better than being anally probed.
August 14th, 2009 at 03:39 pm
Alien Invasion would be awesome...while abduction would be boring.
August 14th, 2009 at 04:08 pm
me gustaria mas la invasion!! asi podriamos tener la oportunidad de kick some E.T. ass's
August 14th, 2009 at 04:11 pm
I'm going with Invasion for the obvious reasons, you can fight your way out of that, the shame of the anal probe, that lasts a life time, or until you get a tube of Preperation-H so you can sit down, and wait to be probed yet again.
August 14th, 2009 at 04:27 pm
abduction hands-down, because i wouldn't even feel, an anal probing, whereas an explosion would hurt.
August 14th, 2009 at 04:32 pm
Invasion wins
If you get abducted and say you were, you end up in a mental asylum and saying that you were abducted
I'd rather eveyone believe me and keep my ass intact than have a sore ass and either be crazy homeless or just plain asylum crazy
August 14th, 2009 at 05:32 pm
Invasion wins, I rather see some cool explosions, and make out with a hot survivor chick and then anal probe her.
August 14th, 2009 at 08:23 pm
I think I'll go with Aliens invading my ass. Fuck being dead.
August 15th, 2009 at 09:36 am
what if I actually enjoy things up my ass?
August 15th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Then I believe you would vote in favor of the abduction.
August 15th, 2009 at 02:43 pm
Invasion, just because I can shoot them dead, I like anal sex and all but with an alien just doesn't cut it.
August 17th, 2009 at 02:58 pm
invasion.. no contest. you can see some cool explosions an shit, and myb kill an alien or 2. but if u die in invasion i cant think of a better to go out then in some kind crazy explosion caused by extraterrestrials.
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