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Drunken Argument Friday: East Coast vs. West Coast

 
If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really stupid things, like what’s better: East Coast or West Coast? Here’s what it looks like when we do both at the same time:
 
Drunken Argument that the East Coast is Better:
 
The East Coast is so clearly the better coast for a number of reasons: first, it was first. There’s more history in one state of the East Coast than there is in the entire West Coast combined. I mean, the country wouldn’t even exist if the East Coasters hadn’t whooped up on the British and taken that shit away from them. Second, the sports teams are way better on the East Coast, and so are the fans. The West Coast is jam-packed with fairweather fans who are to busy hiking and eating avocados to even care about city pride. Speaking of weather, the East Coast actually has some of it. The changing of seasons is one of the best things about the East Coast. As soon as you’re tired of Winter, it gets warm again! Then, when you’re tired of it being so damn warm, it gets hot, and then it gets cool again, and then it repeats itself all over. It’s like the East Coast is an automated TV remote control, constantly flipping from porn, to sports, to an awesome movie that’s only long enough for you to enjoy it before it ends, leaving you hungry for more. Finally: the pizza on the East Coast is way better, and so is the Chinese Food. RIP, Biggie.
 
Drunken Argument that the West Coast is Better:
 

The West Coast is way better than the East Coast. For starters, everything there is shiny and new, because nothing was built before 1972. Also,getting to work in the morning is way easier. You just wake up late, jump in your car, and go. You don’t have to take three different trains that may or may not be running, and then stand next to a bunch of dirty people in a tunnel for an hour when there are no available seats because piss-drenched homeless people are using them for beds. When you meet your buddies at a bar on the West Coast, you don’t have to walk there, either. You just drive to the bar separately from everyone else, get wasted, and then drive to the next bar and do it all over again. West Coasters also don’t have to deal with many of the pesky, annoying things that Mother Nature throws at the East Coast, like weather and stuff. On the West Coast, there’s two seasons: Summer, and Summer with a little bit of Rain. Sure, occasionally we have brief episodes where the earth violently shakes beneath their feet, literally uprooting the foundations of our world, but that’s a small price to pay for life in a constant state of sunny, beachfront relaxation. People go to the West Coast for fabulous vacations, so if you live there it’s like your on vacation every day, except that you have to work, but that’s the only difference. RIP, Tupac.
 

47 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: East Coast vs. West Coast"

  1. Texas is for gays says:

    That’s probably because your a fag. Texas is by far the gayest state. West Coast for life, East Coast sit some snow and kill ya self

  2. east coast beaches says:

    If there’s one thing we like to do more than
    drink, it’s
    argue about really stupid things, like what’s better: East Coast or West Coast? Here’s what it looks like when we do both at the same time: Drunken Argument that the East Coast is Better:
    The East Coast is so clearly the better coast for a number of reasons: first, it was first. There’s more history in one state of the East Coast than there is in the entire West Coast combined. I mean, the country wouldn’t even exist if the East Coasters hadn’t whooped up on the British and taken that shit away from them. Second, the sports teams are way better on the East Coast, and so are the fans. The West Coast is jam-packed with fairweather fans who are to busy hiking and eating avocados to even care about city pride. Speaking of weather, the East Coast actually has some of it. The changing of seasons is one of the best things about the East Coast. As soon as you’re tired of Winter, it gets warm again! Then, when you’re tired of it being so damn warm, it gets hot, and then it gets cool again, and then it repeats itself all over. It’s like the East Coast is an automated TV remote control, constantly flipping from porn, to sports, to an awesome movie that’s only long enough for you to enjoy it before it ends, leaving you hungry for more. Finally: the pizza on the East Coast is way better, and so is the Chinese Food. RIP, Biggie.
    Drunken Argument that the West Coast is Better:
    The West Coast is way better than the East Coast. For starters, everything there is shiny and new, because nothing was built before 1972. Also,getting to work in the morning is way easier. You just wake up late, jump in your car, and go. You don’t have to take three different trains that may or may not be running, and then stand next to a bunch of dirty people in a tunnel for an hour when there are no available seats because piss-drenched homeless people are using them for beds. When you meet your buddies at a bar on the West Coast.
    east coast beaches

  3. nimbus says:

    puerto rican/dominican chicks > mexican chicks
    east coast ftw

  4. Golden Child says:

    West Coast has much better weed and scenery than anywhere on the East Coast.
    However, East Coasters tend to be better dressed, more uptight and more ambitious. I agree that California is flooded with gangs. On the East Coast, Asians are liquor store owners and Mexicans are hard-working day laborers. On the West Coast, Asians and Mexicans are gang banging thugs. San Francisco= Hot Asian Chicks. NYC= Hot Puerto Rican Chicas.

  5. pratik says:

    I’m surprised someone didn’t bring up a “Biggie Smalls versus Tupac” argument out of this.

  6. MLKshake says:

    west-west, obviously.
    the doja alone should make for a devastating win.

  7. Barn Door says:

    I would like to exclude Washington State from the west/east coast argument. Cali scratches my sweaty crotch and sniffs and most of the east coast is a garbage dump.

  8. walrus says:

    New York’s talk

    LA’s hype

    Chicago’s work

    Get a job you coastal fucks

  9. crackysmurf says:

    my dick is blue!

  10. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    West side niggaz!!! \v/

  11. Snoop says:

    Canada can eat a fat dick. Chicago can eat a fat dick. The Amish can eat a fat dick.

  12. Austin Personal Trainers says:

    I grew up on the West Coast, and couldn’t wait to get out of there. I’ve been living in Austin, Texas for the last several years. If I ever start to make 2,000,000 dollars a year, then I’ll consider relocating to New York or Philly. I love the East Coast, although I don’t love the Winter.

  13. JayMain says:

    Everyone should note that both Biggie and Tupac are from the East Coast. Try again West Coast.

  14. Earn Online Money says:

    West coast all the way its warmer people are happier, your not freezing your butt off, and hott chicks in bikini’s. Can you ask for anything more? Lol

    http://www.jaysonlinereviews.com

  15. Uni says:

    Tupac was so embarassed by the east coast he never mentioned that he was born there.

  16. This girl is hot! says:

    I agree the west coast has the hottest chics and celebrities, but the east coast is better for 1.New York City and 2.Washington D.C. and 3.Miami.

    Also I haven’t been in the west coast but I bet is full of “amigos” and “tejanos” and inmigrants from Mexico. I’m puertorrican, so we stayed and rule from mid Florida all the way to NYC and Conneticut and a little bit of Chicago. We puertorricans kick mexican ass all the time (specially in boxing) so in conclusion, the east coast is better.

    West Coast = Mexico

    East Coast = Puerto Rico

  17. Billyray says:

    Dixie.

  18. God Shamgod says:

    the south is for cousin fucking redneck illiterate idiot fucks. and black folks with jheri curls. west coast wins, we got hollywood, porno, surfing and we are closer to hawai’i

  19. kristain77 says:

    If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink , it’s argue about really stupid things, like what’s better: East Coast or West Coast? Here’s what it looks like when we do both at the same time: Drunken Argument that the East Coast is Better: The East Coast is so clearly the better coast for a number of reasons: first, it was first. There’s more history in one state of the East Coast than there is in the entire West Coast combined.
    Cruise Line : http://www.cruise360.net/

  20. gouki says:

    I live in Buffalo New York and i say the east coast
    sucks.

    I been to

    1.Vermont – full of green mountains and hicks
    2.Pennsylvania – full of hills
    3.New York – it just plan sucks

    I don’t even want to see the rest of the east.

    Only problem with the west coast is

    1.It’s more Expensive
    2.Earthquakes
    3.Black,Latino,Asian gang members

    Other than that Id take the west over the east
    any day call me a Traitor I don’t give a fucc.

  21. slickdipstic says:

    I’m 27 and have been bouncing around to 3 u.universities….that’s where its at, ya wake up with hott freshmen bit he’s and couldn’t tell if you just got laid in the east coast or the west…

  22. Texas is for gays says:

    East has the biggest douche bags in the world, i mean boston is over there for starters. East coast likes, bud light lime, tribal arm tattoo’s, roller blading, you guys like creed and nickleback. oh man the east coast is shit

    You also probably enjoy wearing pooka shell necklaces, lame

  23. sick bastard says:

    even as a west coast guy, I gotta say that the west coast put up a good argument. but they forgot to mention that the west coast is being slowly infested by killer africanized bees. plus, people in the east are just pricks, while people in the west are both pricks and douche bags

  24. sick bastard says:

    *even as an east coast guy

    damn computer

  25. Texas is for gays says:

    damn, i hate you Canada

  26. HaroldKoch says:

    They forgot the North Coast! Canada is far superior to both East and West Coast USA. First off our weed is far superior (BC Bud!) and is close to being legalized. Secondly, we have Quebec, which is like another country in a country, full of hot, freaky-ass French chicks. Also, we don’t have to wait until 21 to drink. So basically, you’re going to be fucked-up after a night of smoking, drinking, poutine and banging hot French chicks. But guess what? Free health care! No paying to have your stomach pumped! Sure, it’s kinda chilly in winter, but we don’t have Bill O’Reilly or Anne Coulter either.

  27. @HardoldKock North Coast? I guess you do have good weed to believe what you just said. The fact of the matter is that your shit is frozen over most of the time, your weed isn’t all that great, California is voting this year to make weed 100% legal (can’t beat the Humboldt bud, sorry, just can’t be done. Scientifically proven that the climate there is the best on the planet for good ol’ Mary Jane). Also, Quebec is filled with a bunch of disgusting and stupid French people. I don’t know if you realize it or not, but I had to work with people from Quebec and those people can’t learn basic trouble shooting to save their miserable, permafrost covered brains. So, keep your crappy weather, crappy health care (OMG! I have cancer that’ll kill me in 4 months if I don’t get treatment, I have to wait 2 years for a consult) and your most hated of all nationalities…the Frenchies, we’ll keep our sun, our hotties, our weed, our more-that-fucked-up-than-before-but-still-better-than-your health care and our intellect. Bye bye, go away now.

  28. SaintxXxAsh says:

    french chicks? really? that’s your argument? They’re the ones with armpit/leg hair, right?

  29. HaroldKoch says:

    @ Ben Ass Fleck. You do realize that the climate around Humboldt country is almost identical to British Columbia, except that it’s more humid in B.C? B.C. is after all, a tropical rain forest. Ask any grower and they will tell you that humidity is more important than heat. Furthermore, I highly doubt that California, despite state-wide support, would go against the federal government and legalize. And it being legalized in California would not change the fact that it would still be a Federal crime. Stupid Cali-fag doesn’t understand his own political system. And despite longer waiting times, the Canadian health care system is still ranked higher than yours. And guess whose number 1? FRANCE BITCH! The Frenchies won.

    @SaintxXxAsh – You’re thinking of French Europeans who don’t shave their armpits. French-Canadians are a very clean people.

  30. 00kla the M0k says:

    Why is it when some Canadian gets an asshole about them, its always a liberal Canadian? Are there no conservative Canadians with any pride?
    Anyway, at least Euro-French have a handfull of things to hold onto to sooth the shame of their frenchyness (Lafayette, Bastille Day, etc.) but Canada-French have nothing but the annoying bits. Always bitching about America and getting gassy about their language. Stay in you room, Quebec. No talking.

  31. JDMONEY says:

    Left Coast, Correct Coast.

  32. WillSmithCirca1995 says:

    More first than the East Coast will ever be

  33. PissMop says:

    And this is why the West Coast sucks dick.

  34. WestCoasting says:

    Your name is Pissmop – do you happen to work in the NYC subways?

  35. WOW says:

    you just got owned bxtch

  36. @PissMop Your Cock munching east coast ass just got OWNED! Even the Doors sang about how “The West is the BEST!” Deal with it.

  37. ProCoatHangar says:

    Umm less spoiled???? Just turn on one of the many renditions of MTV’s “reality” programming. Oh, and the east coast is home to the AL East division, cleaning up championships for the last 100+ years. Enjoy your melanoma.

  38. DingleBerry says:

    Who represented the Best Coast in this “argument”? Whoever it was did a piss-poor job. They seemed to be arguing against NYC rather than the east coast.

    Forgot to mention that the west coast is way less pretentious, has hotter women and has slightly less spoiled rotten rich kids. Also, SF has better Chinese food than the east coast, guaranteed. It’s just closer.

  39. viktor says:

    Chicks in the West Coast are hotter.

  40. Notorious B.I.G says:

    I know right, that plastic gets fucking hot in the sun!

  41. Hipster says West is Best(ironically) says:

    Owned.

  42. the north blows says:

    people on the east coast cant stop saying “i know, right?” after they hear someone else say something that they wish they had said and that pisses me off enough to want to go anywhere else. See above.

  43. PissMop says:

    West coast is the best coast, east coast is the least coast.

  44. WestCoasting says:

    The West Coast is the 3 B’s: Beaches, Blondes, and Buds. We have the best beaches (that don’t smell like New Jersey), the hottest blondes that are all in shape (and plasticly enhanced!, and best of all we have the best weed in the entire world. So let’s refresh, I can open up my door, smoke the biggest blunt of the best weed in the world while starting at the ocean and all the hottest blondes at my fingertips. I don’t even own a heavy jacket – keep the snow, ice, hurricanes, and all the old fashion crap east coast. The sun might rise in the east but it sets in the west! Cali-Pride

  45. toats mcgoats says:

    fo sho

  46. Snoop says:

    The East Coast can suck a fat dick. It has Boston and New Jersey. That should tell you all you need to know.

  47. Pac-Man says:

    Chicks are hotter on the west coast. I’m talking, of course about the Latinas. Boasting about having a ton of plastic, blond, materialistic, retards isn’t a very compelling argument, although it’s not really such a bad thing either.

    East coast people are smarter, I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing either. East coast food is better too.

    If you do most of your thinking with your dick, West Coast wins, hands down. If your brain is more active than your libido then may God have mercy on your soul and go to the East where you can at least have some good food.