If there's one thing we like to do more than drink, it's argue about really important stuff, like who would win in a fight between a Griffin and a Centaur. Here's what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for the Griffin
First, let's just get some facts out: a Griffin is a lion with the head and wings of a raptor. A Centaur is a dude with horse legs. A lion can easily kill a horse and a man, even without the ability to fly, so a flying lion would have as much fun with a Centaur as Gallagher would if he got locked in a sledgehammer-and-watermelon factory with nothing but a poncho and a pound of coke. The only thing the Centaur has that gives him a chance in this fight is his ability to manipulate weaponry, because Centaurs always have spears, or axes, or swords or whatever. There's an old saying that goes: "a sword is only as strong as the hand that weilds it...". I'm pretty sure the end of that phrase says: "...and if the hand weilding it belongs to a Centaur, then he's a pussy." A Centaur's arms are only as strong as a man's arms, and as we've already discussed, a lion can tear through a man's arms like a hyperactive 8-year old with a roll of Bubble Tape, so the Centaur's only chance is to keep the Griffin out of attack range. Oh, but guess what? That doesn't apply, because the Griffin has wings, so its attack range is essentially infinite. The Griffin will soar high up in the air, out of range of any arrows that the Centaur might have. Then, like a bald eagle snagging a salmon, he'll swoop down from hundreds of feet in the air and pluck the Centaur's head off with four sets of razor sharp, extremely powerful lion claws, causing the Centaur to stagger around all headless on his scrawny little horse legs, expel his bowels all over his fuzzy little woodland creature friends, and f*cking die on the spot. It wouldn't even be entertaining to watch, and any spectators would just be like, "What the f*ck was that Centaur thinking, trying to fight a Griffin?"
Drunken Argument for the Centaur
There's no doubt that this is going to be a pretty decent fight, but there's no way in hell a Griffin is going to beat a Centaur when it's all said and done. A Griffin is essentially an overgrown furry eagle with one extra set of talons. It has a beak, just like a seagull or a pigeon. I'd be more worried about a Griffin flying over and shitting big lion turds on me than I would about the actual fight. Sure, it has badass lion claws, but a Centaur has a shield to protect against that, and a long-ass sword that would stab the crap out of the Griffin before it even has a chance to claw him. Let's say the Griffin actally gets some good clawin' in: one swipe with the sword and the Centaur could cut a wing off, causing the Griffin to be essentially a weak-ass cat-bird with a beak. Not to mention that, once the wings are immobilized, the advantage goes even more in the favor of the Centaur. The Centaur has four sturdy horse legs planting him firlmy on the ground, enabling him to swing the fuck out of his sword and block with his shield, while the Griffin is wildly flapping his lame wings, backing away with his hind legs, and trying in vain to claw at the shield. Avantage: Centaur. Victory goes to the Centaur. Centaur then mates with Griffin's girlfriend while Griffin flaps in circles and watches.
Kinda seems like you're just assuming a Centaur comes standard with a sword and shield. I think in unarmed combat this is a no-win situation for something lacking wings, claws, sharp teeth or... really any survival adaptations.
By all accounts man should not be able to beat many of the animals he hunts. I'm kinda thinking the Centaur might have an AR-15 or AK47. What about the fight then?
thought i was gonna go with Griffin but i gotta go with Centaur. after i thought about it i realized that a griffin is like a flying lion (which is incredebly badass, dont get me wrong) but it's without powerful lion jaws, which is how lion's mainly kill. the centaur lower half is horse, slightly faster than a lion, and has the use of thumbs and an evolved brain- tactics, weaponizing, fortification- the works. its kind of 50/50 but over all the centaur has a bit of an advantage.
I'd say the centaur would win. I agree that a centaur is much smarter, and why the fuck wouldn't he have a sword? We aren't talking about a fawn or whatever the fuck those hippy horse things are, we're talking about a great warrior who takes pride in bloodshed. The griffin would probably be a worthy adversary, and would kill your ass if you feared it, but centaurs have no fear. I guess it depends on the centaur, but if it was strong enough one slash of the sword could easily end the fight. Arm him with arrows and the wings would mean nothing. Also horses are the most muscular animals, and most fighting comes from the core and abs, even the legs. Not the arms.
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centaur it seems like a born and raised warrior that was raised to fight and has the skill set to dodge and to block things coming at him so why couldn't he block a bird with claws, he can the come back at it with his sword which he is very skilled with and the legs give him agility and power
Griffon would take this one no problem. A griffon is one of those mythical monsters that usually takes a unit of soldiers (tough ones) to bring down. A centaur has a number of advantages over a man perhaps, but one on one against a griffon? If the centaur managed to win then he'd probably be a legend to his tribe for like 10 generations and get a statue and shit. "Who's that dad?" "That's Frank son. Motherfucker killed a griffon."
Never felt compelled to comment here but I can't keep quiet on this one. Griffin wins hands down. Unarmed the centaur has zero chance and armed? maybe a small chance at landing a lucky blow..The Griffin has the strength speed and explosive power of a lion..you know those things that eat Cape fucking buffalo, mixed with the Talons and beak of an eagle..those talons are used for shredding through fat,muscle and tendons..on a Griffin they're way bigger than on a normal eagle..That beak? razor sharp and strong enough to shatter bones..oh did I mention the eye sight of a bird of prey, the Griffin could spot that horse-man from a mile away and plan an attack while Centaur boy is walking and shitting at the same time and playing a pan flute. Oh and the Griffin can fly.
So picture this. Centaur standing there with a sword and shield scanning the forest and skies for the Griffin..Meanwhile the Griffin is perched on a cliff a half a mile away watching every move the Centaur is making. With a mighty thrust of his powerful legs the Griffin launches himself into the air and starts a slow descent towards Pony-boy, keeping himself out of the centaurs view..meanwhile Horse man is trotting in circles still trying to spot the Griffin..When the Griffin is in striking distance his slow descent becomes a speed dive,wings tucked back, legs pointed back, head extended..All Centaur hears is the sound barrier breaking and then 500 to 1000 pounds of muscle, razor sharp talon and crushing beak is ramming into him at the speed of sound..hes nothing but a quivering pile of guts before he even has time to bring is shield up. As for his sword? It's probably buried in his ass.but like I said out of pure luck he might have been holding it at the right angle to jab the Griffin with..but it's not likely he landed a killing blow..you go try to kill a regular lion with a sword and tell me how that turns out.
Man v Lion, man wins because he can use tactics against the lion from primitive tactics, melee weapons and fire or further modifications RPG's, artillery, stealthbombers flown by manhorses
All depends on the weaponry involved. Griffin would definitely win if the centaur is unarmed, but as long as we're talking about mythological creatures, it doesn't matter what weaponry the centaur is traditionally seen with. A centaur has a human mind, and could still operate a flame thrower or a machine gun, in which case the griffin would be fucked.
(28 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
October 9th, 2009 at 04:19 pm
griffin. without question
October 9th, 2009 at 04:25 pm
Kinda seems like you're just assuming a Centaur comes standard with a sword and shield. I think in unarmed combat this is a no-win situation for something lacking wings, claws, sharp teeth or... really any survival adaptations.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
By all accounts man should not be able to beat many of the animals he hunts. I'm kinda thinking the Centaur might have an AR-15 or AK47. What about the fight then?
October 9th, 2009 at 04:27 pm
Griffin most definitely.
Its an effin Bird with Lion claws.
What the hell can beat that?
October 9th, 2009 at 04:40 pm
thought i was gonna go with Griffin but i gotta go with Centaur. after i thought about it i realized that a griffin is like a flying lion (which is incredebly badass, dont get me wrong) but it's without powerful lion jaws, which is how lion's mainly kill. the centaur lower half is horse, slightly faster than a lion, and has the use of thumbs and an evolved brain- tactics, weaponizing, fortification- the works. its kind of 50/50 but over all the centaur has a bit of an advantage.
October 9th, 2009 at 04:54 pm
I'd say the centaur would win. I agree that a centaur is much smarter, and why the fuck wouldn't he have a sword? We aren't talking about a fawn or whatever the fuck those hippy horse things are, we're talking about a great warrior who takes pride in bloodshed. The griffin would probably be a worthy adversary, and would kill your ass if you feared it, but centaurs have no fear. I guess it depends on the centaur, but if it was strong enough one slash of the sword could easily end the fight. Arm him with arrows and the wings would mean nothing. Also horses are the most muscular animals, and most fighting comes from the core and abs, even the legs. Not the arms.
October 9th, 2009 at 05:07 pm
Internet is a quite good place to meet friends and even find whatever your need. i am
just in the beginning of my career and want to find a rich man, maybe to be my sugar daddy. so i uploaded my hot and
photos on ___Sugarloves.Com___ under the name Michelle2000, maybe you want to check out my photos firstly!
October 9th, 2009 at 06:30 pm
I'd go with Centaur.
October 9th, 2009 at 07:24 pm
griffin vs. centaur? who gives a fuck? virgins all lose.
October 9th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
not against people with STI's. yay for the clap!
October 10th, 2009 at 09:59 am
'tis better to have fucked and got the clap, than never to have fucked at all
October 11th, 2009 at 11:20 am
yah, but a centaur has a huge horse cock.
so all the woodland critters would want a piece of that huge thing
October 9th, 2009 at 07:51 pm
centaur it seems like a born and raised warrior that was raised to fight and has the skill set to dodge and to block things coming at him so why couldn't he block a bird with claws, he can the come back at it with his sword which he is very skilled with and the legs give him agility and power
October 9th, 2009 at 08:10 pm
so do centaurs have to kill themselves if they break their leg?
October 10th, 2009 at 07:22 am
Griffon would take this one no problem. A griffon is one of those mythical monsters that usually takes a unit of soldiers (tough ones) to bring down. A centaur has a number of advantages over a man perhaps, but one on one against a griffon? If the centaur managed to win then he'd probably be a legend to his tribe for like 10 generations and get a statue and shit. "Who's that dad?" "That's Frank son. Motherfucker killed a griffon."
October 10th, 2009 at 08:47 am
I'm sorry, we don't hire dirty centaurs...
October 10th, 2009 at 11:54 am
I wonder if any one else got this referance. Christopher Walken is the best.
October 10th, 2009 at 10:29 am
I'd pay to see the Centaur rape Anna and all her sugardaddies.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Never felt compelled to comment here but I can't keep quiet on this one. Griffin wins hands down. Unarmed the centaur has zero chance and armed? maybe a small chance at landing a lucky blow..The Griffin has the strength speed and explosive power of a lion..you know those things that eat Cape fucking buffalo, mixed with the Talons and beak of an eagle..those talons are used for shredding through fat,muscle and tendons..on a Griffin they're way bigger than on a normal eagle..That beak? razor sharp and strong enough to shatter bones..oh did I mention the eye sight of a bird of prey, the Griffin could spot that horse-man from a mile away and plan an attack while Centaur boy is walking and shitting at the same time and playing a pan flute. Oh and the Griffin can fly.
So picture this. Centaur standing there with a sword and shield scanning the forest and skies for the Griffin..Meanwhile the Griffin is perched on a cliff a half a mile away watching every move the Centaur is making. With a mighty thrust of his powerful legs the Griffin launches himself into the air and starts a slow descent towards Pony-boy, keeping himself out of the centaurs view..meanwhile Horse man is trotting in circles still trying to spot the Griffin..When the Griffin is in striking distance his slow descent becomes a speed dive,wings tucked back, legs pointed back, head extended..All Centaur hears is the sound barrier breaking and then 500 to 1000 pounds of muscle, razor sharp talon and crushing beak is ramming into him at the speed of sound..hes nothing but a quivering pile of guts before he even has time to bring is shield up. As for his sword? It's probably buried in his ass.but like I said out of pure luck he might have been holding it at the right angle to jab the Griffin with..but it's not likely he landed a killing blow..you go try to kill a regular lion with a sword and tell me how that turns out.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:34 am
tl/dr
October 10th, 2009 at 04:44 pm
No one in the history of mankind has ever needed to get laid worse than you guys. I wish you luck.
October 10th, 2009 at 08:59 pm
Horse vs. Lion?
Horse vs. Giant Eagle?
Man vs. Lion?
Man vs. Giant Eagle?
I think that says it. Giant Eagle Lion monster beat horse man.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Man v Lion, man wins because he can use tactics against the lion from primitive tactics, melee weapons and fire or further modifications RPG's, artillery, stealthbombers flown by manhorses
October 11th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I thought you meant Peter Griffin!
that would be not only interesting,
but stewie could commentate aswell.
October 11th, 2009 at 07:22 pm
A horse is like a bus, terrible turning radius.
The eagle head on a griffin is the size of a lions head, let's say 2 feet across, making the beak just as wide. Ditto for the lionsized talons.
Death from above. Clamp onto centaur's ass and it's game over.
October 13th, 2009 at 02:45 am
Okay i'm gonna have to go with the centaur just because every centaur i have ever seen doesn't have a stupid ass sword with a shield
he fucking has a bow and arrows
A BOW AND FUCKING ARROWS
what do you hunt with a bow and arrows
birds
what happens when they get shot
they die
over and over again they die
now we look at the fact that "the griffin has the claws of a lion" well
who has seen 300?
that's right
the scene right at the beginning where he stabs the member of the cat family (such as a lion) in the face with a stick
a god damn stick
now any human brain can think of that
more intensely the brain of a hunter
which centaurs happen to be
so hands down
centaur
October 13th, 2009 at 05:00 pm
Hey Johnny, way to start with a bang yo.
October 18th, 2009 at 02:46 pm
All depends on the weaponry involved. Griffin would definitely win if the centaur is unarmed, but as long as we're talking about mythological creatures, it doesn't matter what weaponry the centaur is traditionally seen with. A centaur has a human mind, and could still operate a flame thrower or a machine gun, in which case the griffin would be fucked.
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