If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really important stuff like if it’s cooler to have the ability to turn invisible, or the ability to fly. Here’s what it sounds like when when we do both at the same time.
The Drunken Argument for Invisibility
Invisibility is so much more useful than flying. Have you even seen Hollow Man? Flying could get you out of a few binds for sure, but with the power of invisibility, you could be simultaneously really, really good, and really, really evil. The government would probably hire you to be a spy, which would be awesome, and probably pay really well. But then you could easily be like "Hey, government, I’m willing to be an invisible super-spy for you, but you have to agree to not arrest me for turning invisible and going into the ladies dressing rooms at Macy’s", and since you’re the only guy in the whole fuggin’ world that can turn invisible, they’d be like "Fine. You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Invisible Guy." Then you’ve got a carte blanche from the government and an ability that makes you the best peeping tom in the world. Now that would be sweet. Not to mention the fact that you could easily rob anyone of anything and get away with it super easy. Want some money? Just turn invisible, walk into a bank, and hang around for a while. It’s as easy as that. Want some free food? Just turn invisible, walk into a restaurant, and hang around for a while. It’s literally the same simple procedure to steal anything that you want, and to escape, you won’t even have to fly away and avoid jets or helicopters or anything. All you have to do is walk outside of the place that you just robbed and stand still. Nobody will ever see you because you’re invisible. Now that’s awesome.
The Drunken Argument for Flying
First of all, I have seen Hollow Man, and the only argument bolstered by referencing that film is "what’s the shittiest f*&king movie you’ve ever seen?" If you’re invisible, sure, it’s cool. Very cool. Bt it’s cool in the same way that finding out the super hot chick you banged is your third cousin; it’s not wrong, but for some reason it makes people act really weird around you, because they’re not sure what you’re capable of. People will never really be themselves around you, and after a while you’ll get tired of hanging out with a bunch of phony assholes. Imagine hanging out non-stop with Paris Hilton, except not slutty. That’s your life. Plus, if you can fly, you can travel anywhere you want, whenever you want. No traffic, no airplane tickets, no anything. Yo can go anywhere in the world. And what woman is not going to want to have sex with a guy who flies? I’m not a mathematician, but flying = vaginas becoming moist in preparation for sex.