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Drunken Argument Friday: Invisibility or Flying?

 
If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really important stuff like if it’s cooler to have the ability to turn invisible, or the ability to fly. Here’s what it sounds like when when we do both at the same time.
 
The Drunken Argument for Invisibility
 
 
Invisibility is so much more useful than flying.  Have you even seen Hollow Man?  Flying could get you out of a few binds for sure, but with the power of invisibility, you could be simultaneously really, really good, and really, really evil.  The government would probably hire you to be a spy, which would be awesome, and probably pay really well. But then you could easily be like "Hey, government, I’m willing to be an invisible super-spy for you, but you have to agree to not arrest me for turning invisible and going into the ladies dressing rooms at Macy’s", and since you’re the only guy in the whole fuggin’ world that can turn invisible, they’d be like "Fine. You’ve got yourself a deal, Mr. Invisible Guy."  Then you’ve got a carte blanche from the government and an ability that makes you the best peeping tom in the world.  Now that would be sweet.  Not to mention the fact that you could easily rob anyone of anything and get away with it super easy.  Want some money? Just turn invisible, walk into a bank, and hang around for a while.  It’s as easy as that.  Want some free food? Just turn invisible, walk into a restaurant, and hang around for a while.  It’s literally the same simple procedure to steal anything that you want, and to escape, you won’t even have to fly away and avoid jets or helicopters or anything.  All you have to do is walk outside of the place that you just robbed and stand still.  Nobody will ever see you because you’re invisible.  Now that’s awesome.
 
The Drunken Argument for Flying
 

 
First of all, I have seen Hollow Man, and the only argument bolstered by referencing that film is "what’s the shittiest f*&king movie you’ve ever seen?"  If you’re invisible, sure, it’s cool.  Very cool.  Bt it’s cool in the same way that finding out the super hot chick you banged is your third cousin;  it’s not wrong, but for some reason it makes people act really weird around you, because they’re not sure what you’re capable of.  People will never really be themselves around you, and after a while you’ll get tired of hanging out with a bunch of phony assholes.  Imagine hanging out non-stop with Paris Hilton, except not slutty.  That’s your life.  Plus, if you can fly, you can travel anywhere you want, whenever you want.  No traffic, no airplane tickets, no anything.  Yo can go anywhere in the world.  And what woman is not going to want to have sex with a guy who flies?  I’m not a mathematician, but flying = vaginas becoming moist in preparation for sex.

So what do you think? Flying or Invisibility?
 

49 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: Invisibility or Flying?"

  1. Ookla the Mok says:

    Flying will get you killed for sure. Fast.

    Invisibility will make you an immoral monster(woot!) and also probably get you killed but slow.

    I’ll take the invis cause I’m lazy. But then one day some guy that can’t see me will walk into me and I’ll be bumped into traffic. Or after enough years of strange phenomena, I am discovered and made to pay for the years of theft, rape, and mayhem I committed. Bottom line: invis will make you an outlaw and unless you go real easy on the power use or stay invis, you will be discovered and punished/killed.

  2. Andrew says:

    Neither, both would soon get old and the possibility of having any of them is better than not having them. Think about when you want a video game really badly and when you buy it, then finish it your bored with it. The only way it would be fun if other people had the same power as you then you could really fuck shit up!

  3. dino says:

    I have a fear of falling, so the ability to fly would be my default choice.

  4. Anonymous says:

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Horny Chick says:

    If you could fly, you could get all the Free Amateur Sex you wanted!

  6. jojo says:

    hah

  7. Derek says:

    By the way, when I ask this question at parties, these are the rules I put down:

    Flying power: 500 mph maximum, and this speed would be like a slow jog in terms of strain on the body. One could carry someone else while flying, but the strain would be similar to carrying someone piggyback; the speed would diminish, and one could only do it for a limited amount of time.

    Invisibility: Everything one touches with a certain distance while one turns invisible, is invisible. That means invisibility will affect clothing and any objects one is holding. However, this field does not affect visible objects touched while one is invisible… no picking up jewelry at the store, folks! Instead, one must become Visible, THEN turn invisible while holding the object. Puts a neat limitation on invisibility, I think.

  8. cctt says:

    ok so now im loaded and just want say to Anonymous yeh

  9. cctt says:

    oh and im gonna get laid tonight fucktard! what are you gonna do?

  10. Anonymous says:

    Invisibility.. coz im a perv. and hey, sounds fun ! and you dont have to pay for plane tickets either

  11. murky says:

    i can’t imagine how awesome your “parties” are! you and your “super” friends really discuss this type of shit? in such detail? at “parties”? what the fuck ever, VIRGIN!

  12. cctt says:

    cheeto dick!!!

  13. blackie says:

    This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

  14. blackie says:

    If i could fly I’g get on an elevator full of people that was going down. Once it started moving I’d hover like 3 inches off the floor and scream and freak out until it got to the bottom floor and then I’d stand again and be like “That was weird” and walk out.

  15. Anonymous says:

    not to be a total fucking dork but this question is pretty well addressed here: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=178 by john hodgeman (aka the PC in the mac vs pc commercials). I’m very drunk, but definitely check i tout

  16. cctt says:

    taco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Flying=busting on people’s heads as you flew by.

  18. C. Norris says:

    Just please don’t procreate. We dont need a “cctt2″ leaving useless shit here too…

  19. FU says:

    Dude we all know from hollow man u can steal stuff or eat anything with out people being able to see it through your body, so basically there goes the stealing whatever the fuck u want part. So flying takes it hands down!!!

  20. Derek says:

    I’ve been asking this question for years and have tried to keep a mental tally. I would estimate that 2/3rds of the people who I have asked have said flying power – especially men. On one long bus trip, almost 75% percent of men said that they would fly – 50% of women said they would select invisibility. Wonder what that says about us, hunh?

    For me, flying power wins hands down. I fly in my dreams, constantly, and the ability to do that in waking life, to flit among the clouds and to twist around the mountaintops and sky scrapers… that would be the greatest gift. Invisibility, however, I would inevitably use for evil purposes. I’d give myself a week before sneaking into the girls locker room.

    Great page, great question.

  21. eknks says:

    The ability to NOT write mile-long run-on sentences would be a good superpower for you.

    dizi izle

  22. john says:

    Invisibility ftw.. Sorry but if I could follow Megan Fox in her house, and tug one out watching her in the shower, and bottom out herself with a big daddy dong dildo seems pretty much like the best thing that could ever happen to anyone..

  23. JacktheStripper says:

    Flying. If you were invisible you would also be blind, because light would pass right through you, and not stimulate the photoreceptors in your eyes. Also you’re more likely to get run over.

  24. Voyuer King says:

    Read my fucking mind…. think of all the cash you could make, if you take that dudes comments about limitations on invisibility on board, ie: anything you are holding when you turn invisible will itself become invisible, I’m talking video camera, how much would someone pay to see Megan Fox rooting herself with the aforementioned big daddy dong dildo, I know I’d pay good money to see that mmmmmmmm….. Invisibility all the way!!!

  25. That Jackass says:

    Passive aggressive is the best because you get to piss people off but they have no legitimate reason to attack so what do you think of that you idiot

  26. Nathan says:

    If they can’t see me coming, they can’t start shitty conversations. For instance, if you hadn’t seen my comment, you wouldn’t have left a stupid response. Does that clarify the principle for you or do you want to debate how it makes me invisible not immune to idiotic responses.

  27. Anonymous says:

    When you say foot do you mean cock? Because by the tone of your comment, i would say your a butt fucker in real life.

  28. church says:

    so… you spend all day thinking about gay jokes? or is it the best type of insult you could think of at the moment?

  29. church says:

    from your tone of comment, i would say your a passive agressive cockbite in real life. i wish that i could see your ass, so that i could put my foot, straight up it! focker.

  30. OAWizeGuy says:

    Afteeer reeding you posts, im thinking NOT drunk!!! Drink more, get back after. Im going flying, dont have to buy gas, and hell yeah, Im like a superhero or somthing now.

  31. anonymurderer says:

    so basically you would just use your “powers” to “team up” with another guy??? LOL!

  32. suomynona says:

    who called the punctuation police? (i kill me) anywho, invisiblity is for chumps. you can’t successfully rob shit if you have the ability to become invisible, how are you going to sneak money out of the bank? you got an invisible bag? see through knapsack maybe? same for the freefood. what no one notices a floating hamburger? in order to become invisible, you would have to strip, anyone could follow and capture an invisible guy running in blue jeans and sketchers!

  33. Anonymous says:

    Invisible doesnt work. You would be naked until you went home or would need to steal clothes or hide them all over the city. You would also be a loner. On the other hand, you could fart on someones eye ball. Flying you are part of society with benefits. Since you have the ability to fly, your eye balls probably are wind resistant, like a bird. I would shit and piss while flying…watch the log fall to earth. Travel the globe and have snatch in all countries. You could team up with the weird invisible guy and run the world.

  34. Anonymous says:

    The ability to NOT write mile-long run-on sentences would be a good superpower for you.

  35. cctt says:

    im not drunk yet but im gonna coment any way.
    invisibility is the way to go you can still fly any where you want you just walk onto any frikin plane at the airport or millitary base and catch a ride and as far as poontang goes chicks love mistery men so there ya go besides who gives a shit if peaple are acting weird its not like they dont do that already..plus when some jerkoff in government says or does something to piss you off you actually have a chance of doing something about it…like rapeing his dog while his familly eats thanksgiving dinner and there all screaming and shit

  36. Anonymous says:

    i kind of have to agree.

  37. cctt says:

    your mom dont mind bitch!

  38. Nathan says:

    besides, only raped bitches who desperately want to escape, dream of flying

  39. Nathan says:

    Invisibility= people not bugging me for shit

    no street preachers yelling, no gf bitching, etc

    invisibility would mean I could go anywhere I want and not hear you whining about how much vag you’d get if you could fly

  40. Anonymous says:

    you’re invisible not DEAF moron

  41. JB says:

    flying = hot chicks wanting to be around you cause you can do cool shit noone else can

    invisibility = any girl staying the fuck away cause theyre paranoid about doing anything private within 500 yards of you

    flying, hands down

  42. anonymurderer says:

    alternately, flying+ being a drunk dumbass= would easily result in death! i mean Powerlines for one thing! think about lightning. and as for hauling as and flying at an incredible rate of speed, how are you supposed to breathe? i imagine your lungs would either fail or collapse and you would suffocate. what about smog? flying over any major metropolitan areas would be like huffing a tailpipe! what about mid air collisions with aircrafts? if the impact didn’t kill you, the resulting explosions might! not to mention the immediate plunge to the ground! pitfalls are all over this option! i’d still choose flight though because, well i have homicidal tendencies. think about snatching a hot bitch at the mall fly to a deserted island, rape, kill, then leave her for dead…. or drop here in a volcano… whatever!

  43. Anonymous says:

    You guys ever hear of thermography? Look it up idiots. Flying > Invisibility.

  44. Bunkey says:

    “You guys ever hear of thermography? Look it up idiots. Flying > Invisibility.”

    Hey idiot, ever hear of a ceiling or a rope?

  45. Meeep. says:

    invisibility…gives you a wider range of things to do. literally anything.

    One thing though, if someone bumps into you…do they still touch you?

    dont even try and tell me a girl wouldnt want to get it on with someone who isnt there…its a dick dildo…they dont have to worry about the awkward morning convo you would have to have with their roommates when you are trying to escape. plus chicks love a little mystery, whats more mysterious than invisibility?

  46. twentythree says:

    sounds ALOT like rape…

  47. Anonymous says:

    cctt makes good points

    but i would still choose to fly over being invisible because you’re fucking INVISIBLE! Means you’re irrelevant

    If you can fly, id just rob a bank (in some retarted costume) and fly my ass to mexico or some island be set

    And what chick wouldnt want to bang in mid air? thats impressive

  48. TrillVille says:

    Flying. Go anywhere whenever you want.

  49. Verus says:

    Definitely flying, why? How kickass would be be to stumble out of a bar drunk off your rocker and just like shoot up into the air and make your way to your place, or your exes to take a shit down her chimney. Plus you could get laid be eco-friendly chicks by saying that you don’t drive and have low emissions!