If there's one thing we like to do more than drink, it's argue about really important stuff like if it would be more awesome to get it on with a mermaid that has a fish lower-body, or a fish upper-body. Here's what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for Mermaid with Fish Lower-body:
There's a reason why, when they were making up mermaids a long time ago, they decided to go with the fish lower-body version: because it's way hotter this way. If you're getting it on with this classic kind of mermaid, you've basically got two go-to's: boobs and mouth. I'm absolutely fine with those options. Also, a mermaid, as I understand it, is some kind of a weird hybrid between a fish and a hot chick. I don't know about you, but I don't want my seed going toward the procreation of some weird species of fish-people, so anything involving actual boner in vag sex is not something that I'm interested in. Sex with a mermaid should be treated like your nephews and nieces: they're fun to play with but you never, ever, EVER want to put yourself in the position where you're responsible for them in any way whatsoever. Just have your fun with it, and don't knock it up and have it popping out any of your slimy fish-person spawn.
Drunken Argument for Mermaid with Fish Upper-Body
This really depends on what you're into: boobs and mouths, or legs, vaginas, and a-holes. Personally, I would categorize myself in the latter. You know this chick is gonna have killer legs, because I'm assuming that, since the top of her body is a fish, she's still gonna have to be in the water, swimming around all the time. That means she's gonna be fit as hell. Plus, everyone's banged an ugly chick before. This is just that times 1000. The important thing to remember in this argument is that a fish head still has a mouth. And don't even get all judgemental, and say something like "ew, gross! I can't believe you'd even consider f*cking a giant fish mouth!" We're talking about sex with a half-fish half-person, so any judgements as to what's gross and what's not should be out the window at this point. It's all about options: with an upper-body mermaid, you've got a mouth and some boobs to keep you busy. With a lower-body mermaid, you've got killer legs, a vagina, an a-hole, PLUS a fish mouth and gills. F*ckin' gills, dude. I've never had sex with a gill before, but you better believe that if I ever found myself in this situation, I would just be like, "Look, self. This is already weird. You're having sex with a woman who has the upper-body of a fish. It's not like it's gonna get any less weird if you maintain your dignity. You might as well just stick it in the gills." And that's exactly what I'll do, and I'll probably enjoy it, too.
So, what do you think? Mermaid with Fish Lower-Body, or Fish Upper-Body?
seems like the first argument came from someone with an inappropriate relationship with their nieces (and nephews?)...
"Sex with a mermaid should be treated like your nephews and nieces...Just have your fun with it, and don't knock it up"
if your having sex with the cum dumpster that has a top half of a fish you'd either be doin it in the water or she'd be passed out deprived of oxygen on land. and the latter option doesn't sound too bad considering you have no idea how a fish would sound mid-orgasm.
imagine what a top-fish mermaid's cooter is gonna smell like. fack if it wasnt for the gill fucking option I wouldn't even be able to manage a half bone to puncture dat puss with.
(15 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 19th, 2009 at 02:37 pm
More holes = More fun.
June 19th, 2009 at 02:43 pm
This thread is hot.
j/k it's fucking weird. I want the boobs and mouth and face to be human thank you
September 6th, 2009 at 06:33 pm
i agree. and fish have vaginas too. why didn't they put that on there?
June 19th, 2009 at 02:50 pm
human top
June 19th, 2009 at 02:50 pm
gill sex?
new low.
June 19th, 2009 at 02:52 pm
You also forgot that the chick with the fish bottom has hands for some HJ action. Top fish chick aint get nothing done with those flippers.
June 19th, 2009 at 03:06 pm
Valid.
i expected flipper sex before gill sex. like cmon
June 19th, 2009 at 02:55 pm
seems like the first argument came from someone with an inappropriate relationship with their nieces (and nephews?)...
"Sex with a mermaid should be treated like your nephews and nieces...Just have your fun with it, and don't knock it up"
June 19th, 2009 at 03:04 pm
this.
if your point comes across as pedo, you need to work harder on your analogies.
June 19th, 2009 at 03:51 pm
Regardless of where it came from, that still seems like good advice.
June 19th, 2009 at 02:56 pm
Little early to be drinking, isn't it?
June 19th, 2009 at 06:46 pm
how come everyone is forgetting the lower female half would still have an oviduct... and that would make for some sweet sweet egg hole poundin'
June 19th, 2009 at 07:49 pm
50% rounds to 100%
June 19th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
if your having sex with the cum dumpster that has a top half of a fish you'd either be doin it in the water or she'd be passed out deprived of oxygen on land. and the latter option doesn't sound too bad considering you have no idea how a fish would sound mid-orgasm.
June 22nd, 2009 at 03:59 pm
imagine what a top-fish mermaid's cooter is gonna smell like. fack if it wasnt for the gill fucking option I wouldn't even be able to manage a half bone to puncture dat puss with.
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