If there's one thing we like to do more than drink, it's argue about really important stuff like if Mexican Food is better or worse than Chinese Food. Here's what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for Mexican Food:
Mexican food is delicious. It's super spicy, has rich and varied textures, and is f*ckin' great. If you don't know, Mexico has a pretty healthy history of poverty under its belt. But that didn't stop the Mexicans. They were like "F*ck poverty, hombres. We've got beans, tortillas, and rice. Let's eat the mierda out of this stuff!" and that's exactly what they did. Mexican food is the poster-child of culinary innovation. It's like Keanu Reeves' acting technique: it's just a few really basic things that are combined in different ways to create something that seems pretty awesome. Here, put some meat in this tortilla and fold it in half. It's a taco! Okay, now instead of folding it, roll it up. It's a burrito! Now put some sauce on the burrito. It's an enchilada! Okay, now for an appetizer, tear the tortilla into pieces and fry it. Chips and Salsa! See? That's the same thing over and over, but each one of those things is absolutely delicious. The other great advantage that mexican food has is that it fills you the f*ck up. Nobody has ever said "y'know, I ate a whole plate of mexican food two hours ago, and now I'm hungry again!", but people say that about chinese food all the time. That's because, compared to mexican food, chinese food sucks balls.
Drunken Argument for Chinese Food:
Mexican Food is the Michael Cera of foods. No matter what the hell it's trying to be, it's still the same damn thing it was before. Chinese Food has endless combinations. Have you ever been to a Chinese restaurant? The menu is enormous. They have ingredients I've never even heard of, and they all taste awesome, but not only that: they have, like, a million words for "spicy". I bet you don't even know what "pungeant" means. Mexican Food certainly can't be pungeant. I've never even heard of a pungeant taco. And if you want to talk about history, Chinese Food has been around since the Xia Dynasty. They've got foods named after f*ckin' generals. There isn't a dish called Mexican Drug Lord Enchiladas, but if you ate some delicious General Tso's Chicken, you'd be like, "F*ck this tired tortilla, meat, and bean combo. I'm digging this Asian party in my mouth!" Plus, as an added bonus, at the end of each meal you get a cookie that tells the future. That's just badass.
So, what do you think? Mexican Food or Chinese Food?
Not the west coast of Canada though (I know, nobody cares.). The Mexican food up here is terrible. While the Chinese food is awesome (I mean the CHINESE Chinese food, not the North Americanized shit).
After travelling to both Mexico and China however, it's not even a contest. Chinese food wins hands down. Way more variety, and 99% of it is delicious.
It's kind of hard to avoid the Mexican food here in the midwest, but I do believe that Panda Express is THE argument for Chinese food. Oh shit I'm not drunk yet. Oh well.
I like both but in this argument I would say mexican wins because it is awesome when your drunk and like they said it really fills you up for a while! Both of them come out the other end spicy again though so beware! haha...I can't read the stupid CAPTCHA below but the second word is corona speaking of mexican!
Are you kidding me? MEXICAN! How is this even a debate? The Chinese may own our asses in 10 years, but their food tastes like moldy ass. Guacamole, beans, and fuckloads of cheese -- that's what the fuck I'm talkin about!!!
(10 Comments)
Twitter
Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
June 26th, 2009 at 02:02 pm
Good stuff.
I think if you're on the east coast and want some food between the two, go Chinese. West coast, go for Mexican. In the middle, harder to say.
June 26th, 2009 at 03:58 pm
Corn...lots and lots of corn..
July 10th, 2009 at 09:35 am
Not the west coast of Canada though (I know, nobody cares.). The Mexican food up here is terrible. While the Chinese food is awesome (I mean the CHINESE Chinese food, not the North Americanized shit).
After travelling to both Mexico and China however, it's not even a contest. Chinese food wins hands down. Way more variety, and 99% of it is delicious.
June 26th, 2009 at 02:10 pm
It's kind of hard to avoid the Mexican food here in the midwest, but I do believe that Panda Express is THE argument for Chinese food. Oh shit I'm not drunk yet. Oh well.
June 26th, 2009 at 03:11 pm
I like both but in this argument I would say mexican wins because it is awesome when your drunk and like they said it really fills you up for a while! Both of them come out the other end spicy again though so beware! haha...I can't read the stupid CAPTCHA below but the second word is corona speaking of mexican!
June 26th, 2009 at 03:59 pm
(obligatory burn)
Your mom's got a pungeant taco.
June 26th, 2009 at 04:42 pm
Much like alternative rock may have never entered mainstream music without Nirvana, without Mexican food, Holy Taco could have existed.
Check and mate.
June 27th, 2009 at 01:04 pm
Are you kidding me? MEXICAN! How is this even a debate? The Chinese may own our asses in 10 years, but their food tastes like moldy ass. Guacamole, beans, and fuckloads of cheese -- that's what the fuck I'm talkin about!!!
from befouled
June 29th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Chinese buffet food is disturbingly disgusting... have you ever had peanut butter chicken?
Electronic Cigarette
September 13th, 2009 at 02:18 pm
You're right, I don't know what "pungeant" means, maybe because it isn't a fucking word. It's "PUNGENT," you fucking idiots.
Post new comment