If there’s one thing guys like to do, it’s drink. And when guy’s drink they tend to think of two of the most outlandish, perverted, disgusting things they can think of, choose a side, and immediately start arguing for your side and against the other. This is what men do.
This week’s Drunken Argument Friday falls so far into the perverted and disgusting category that we’re going to put this one after the jump. Good luck, this week’s is a doozy.
This Week’s Drunken Argument: Would You Rather: Get A Blowjob From Your Mom, Or Go Down On You Sister. (Both acts would last 10 mins.)
Drunken Argument For The Blowbjob From Mom
This is an easy one. And by easy, I mean "emotionally scarring." Both of these are horrible, end-of-the-world-as-you-know-it scenarios, but there is only one answer here: The BJ from Mom. On one hand, you just have to lay there. You don’t have to actively do anything. So you can pretend like it’s anyone else (Dad?) to make this as painless as possible. As long as mom doesn’t start making any crazy noises or grounding you for not getting a boner, then you can just sit back, close your eyes and think of every porno you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
And, when you think about it, it wasn’t that long ago that you were dangling from your mom’s teat. So now she’s just returning the favor. Isn’t that nice of her? And how popular are MILFs these days? If you got a BJ from some random MILF, or Cougar, you’re buddies would probably give you a high five. This shit is in style right now.
The alternative is actively doing a sexual act to your sister. With the mom BJ, you just lie there. With the sister act, you have to watch her take her panties off, and then roll on top of her and then…Jesus Christ, I can’t even finish that sentence. And this isn’t a fingerbang or a erotic massage, you are using your tongue on your sister’s most holiest of holys. You will be tasting your sister for the rest of your life. The next time someone says, "Hey, do you want to watch Sister Act?" (and believe me, that will happen more times than you think) you will break down in tears. Mom is the only answer to this question.
Drunken Argument For Going Down On Your Sister
Dude, BJs, along with Baskin Robbin’s ice cream and Rocky IV, are three of the most awesome things in the world. If you get a BJ from your mom, you’re NEVER going to be able to enjoy a BJ ever again, cause every time a chick goes down on you, you’re going to be thinking about your mom going down on you. If going down on your sister ruins going down on other chicks for the rest of your life, that’s not a big deal.. That’d be like never driving a Saturn again.
Plus, your mom is really old, and if you factor in that both your mom and your sister are super-duper, gross, then the deal breaker is that your mom is super-duper gross AND old. Which is extra gross. Also, when you’re super close to a vajayjay it just sort of looks the same, and although you might say “If you close your eyes, you can pretend someone else is blowing you,” I think that theory goes out the window when you know that person is your mom. This isn’t an unattractive lady you met at the bar, this is the woman who’s vagina you came out of.
Now it’s your turn to chime in. Just follow these easy steps:
Step 1: Drink 7 beers
Step 2: Vote (You can vote as often as you want. Just refresh the page to vote again or see the newest results)
Step 3: Type whatever stream of consciousness bullshit that comes into your head on this topic in the comment section.
Step 4: Continue being awesome
(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed.)