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Drunken Argument Friday: This One’s Not Safe For Work…or Life

If there’s one thing guys like to do, it’s drink. And when guy’s drink they tend to think of two of the most outlandish, perverted, disgusting things they can think of, choose a side, and immediately start arguing for your side and against the other. This is what men do.
This week’s Drunken Argument Friday falls so far into the perverted and disgusting category that we’re going to put this one after the jump. Good luck, this week’s is a doozy.

This Week’s Drunken Argument: Would You Rather: Get A Blowjob From Your Mom, Or Go Down On You Sister. (Both acts would last 10 mins.)
Drunken Argument For The Blowbjob From Mom
This is an easy one. And by easy, I mean "emotionally scarring." Both of these are horrible, end-of-the-world-as-you-know-it scenarios, but there is only one answer here: The BJ from Mom. On one hand, you just have to lay there. You don’t have to actively do anything. So you can pretend like it’s anyone else (Dad?) to make this as painless as possible. As long as mom doesn’t start making any crazy noises or grounding you for not getting a boner, then you can just sit back, close your eyes and think of every porno you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
And, when you think about it, it wasn’t that long ago that you were dangling from your mom’s teat. So now she’s just returning the favor. Isn’t that nice of her? And how popular are  MILFs these days? If you got a BJ from some random MILF, or Cougar, you’re buddies would probably give you a high five. This shit is in style right now.
The alternative is actively doing a sexual act to your sister. With the mom BJ, you just lie there. With the sister act, you have to watch her take her panties off, and then roll on top of her and then…Jesus Christ, I can’t even finish that sentence. And this isn’t a fingerbang or a erotic massage, you are using your tongue on your sister’s most holiest of holys. You will be tasting your sister for the rest of your life. The next time someone says, "Hey, do you want to watch Sister Act?" (and believe me, that will happen more times than you think) you will break down in tears. Mom is the only answer to this question.
Drunken Argument For Going Down On Your Sister
Dude, BJs, along with Baskin Robbin’s ice cream and Rocky IV, are three of the most awesome things in the world. If you get a BJ from your mom, you’re NEVER going to be able to enjoy a BJ ever again, cause every time a chick goes down on you, you’re going to be thinking about your mom going down on you. If going down on your sister ruins going down on other chicks for the rest of your life, that’s not a big deal.. That’d be like never driving a Saturn again.
Plus, your mom is really old, and if you factor in that both your mom and your sister are super-duper, gross, then the deal breaker is that your mom is super-duper gross AND old. Which is extra gross. Also, when you’re super close to a vajayjay it just sort of looks the same, and although you might say “If you close your eyes, you can pretend someone else is blowing you,” I think that theory goes out the window when you know that person is your mom. This isn’t an unattractive lady you met at the bar, this is the woman who’s vagina you came out of.
Now it’s your turn to chime in. Just follow these easy steps:
Step 1: Drink 7 beers
Step 2: Vote (You can vote as often as you want. Just refresh the page to vote again or see the newest results)
Step 3: Type whatever stream of consciousness bullshit that comes into your head on this topic in the comment section.

Step 4: Continue being awesome

(Note: Poll results are slightly delayed.)

48 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: This One’s Not Safe For Work…or Life"

  1. HipAnonymous says:


  2. TrillVille says:

    Fuck that. In this situation, I’d be the guy in the group who just keeps on drinking. Every time they ask me to take a side, I’ll just grab my beer/drink and act like I can’t answer because I’m drinking.

  3. e-rips says:

    …if i dont have a sister, do i have to salad toss myself out of default?

  4. Anonymous says:

    I hate to admit this, but this is by far the funniest thing I have read in a very, very long time. I am still wiping tears from my eyes. And the comments are priceless.

  5. barf says:

    Can I hog-tie either of them up, too?

  6. Frank Stalone says:

    My moms in prison. Can my grandma blow me?

  7. That Jackass says:

    Holy shit you’ve just irreversibly emotionaly scarred me. Nice going

  8. Anonymous says:

    WTF! hahaha

  9. Pirate Hooker says:

    Justin Thomas I just threw up on my keyboard at work, I will need reimbursement thanks. xoxo

  10. DueceOnYoFoHead says:

    I would skip both and run straight to my dog and toss his salad. Twice.

  11. Anonymous says:

    i will run

  12. Dagnut says:

    New low lads..seriously I’m not offended but that’s lazy 14 year old humour.
    Sad day

  13. Anonymoose says:

    Well… My sister’s kinda hot… but were adopted

  14. anonymous says:

    hey, if your sisters really hot then…….i guess…..uh, nevermind, but your MOM talk about runnin for the razors!!!

  15. alphamale11 says:

    At this point I should like to ask. When you were young, and your mother kissed you good night. Did you ever wonder if she had just given dad a blow job??
    Of course this question is applicable to both boys and girls.

  16. Anonymous says:

    this is a really really sick and perverted question. Anybody that who seriously thought about this question and gave a response is very sick in the head!! I advise all of you to seek immediate counseling to get these thoughts out of your head. no matter how much u drink their is no excuse for any one to wanna do either!! and admitting that your sister is hot is pretty bad too. But i guess way back to adam and eve we all are related if you go back far enough. which is kinda weird about religion and the bible if you think about everyone had sex with each other.

  17. Anonymous says:

    OK, lessee, i think 8 glasses of wine counts as 7 beers…

    If it must be done, I choose my sister because the girls in my family are pretty hot. Well, they’re blonde at least, so it just becomes a simple matter of age vs beauty.

    Come to think of it, cunnnin- cunalli- eh. Cuntlicking requires alot of telepathy, so I changed my mind. Or something. What was the question again?

  18. HipAnonymous says:

    In order for me to do either, they would first have to go down on eachother! Ever since I got teh ole ED…

  19. Anonymous says:

    When ever I eat out a chick I end up humping them, so does that mean I have to do my sister? I guess it goes the same with the bj.

  20. Ken H says:

    I’d rather go down on my sister, because maybe I’d turn her on enough that she’d ask me to fuck her.

  21. Anonymous says:

    what if you are adopted than it just a bj from a milf…

  22. iamME!!!! says:

    Why can’t i do both?

  23. C. Norris says:

    I am from the hills and my Mom and my Sister are the same person. So its just like one of us is returning a favor!

  24. Anonymous says:

    my mom gives great head

  25. Anonymous says:

    wow this argument wouldn’t work for me, im an only child

  26. Anonymous says:

    holy shit you all are sick up in here, if i had to choose, i would first get totally drunk and probably end up doin both, hahaha im a syckphuck

  27. Anonymouse says:

    I’m back, she put up a fight but we got there in the end, what do I win?

  28. Hu NgLow says:

    The utter nastiness of the situation is horrid. Of course, the second argument wins. If you get that BJ from mom, all bjs in the future are from her. If you just pet the ol’ sister’s kitty… well, you don’t have to pet another one.

    As for the rest of this shit, you all are just nasty!

  29. Anonymous says:

    Here’s the loophole; what if your sister is adopted? It’d be like going down on a hot friend or something.

  30. Ben F says:

    I think we need a little more detail first:
    -when Mom is blowing me, are we in a 69 situation?
    -when I’m licking my sister’s twat, is my finger up her ass?

    This is important stuff!

  31. Scarred says:

    So if your sister was under the age of 18 not only would you be eating out your sister but you would also be a pedophile and risk the chance of becoming one of those little red dots online representing sex offenders.

  32. justin says:
    Wow, these responses are disgusting even for our site.
  33. Billy says:

    Can I take part in this experiment if I’ve already eaten my sister out?

  34. Anonymous says:

    bonus for both?

  35. Anonymous says:

    my sisters hot. i wouldnt have to be drunk to eat that pussy.

  36. Sean says:

    I’d rather fuck Rosie O’Donnel or a whale that resembles her than either of those options (unless i had a step sister and step sisters counted…or step mother for that matter)

  37. Pratik says:

    After reading this, I feel like I should go to Church.


  38. Anonymous says:

    Is my dad watching either scenario?

  39. Anonymous says:

    The terrible thing is that girls play this exact game…and the scenarios are just as twisted as well.

  40. Anthony Ceaser says:

    My mom loves giving blow jobs, if you need one, just call.

  41. MJJM says:

    I recommend you take him up on his offer. She is one helluva BJ giver.

    P.S. She swallows

  42. Kevin says:

    If it was a step-sister that would be OK I think. Especialy if she was hot. What about a step-daughter? Of age of course.

  43. Mr. Poopoopachu says:

    So what you’re saying is that I’d get the longest bj of my life? Sounds sweet.

  44. Sickpigs.com says:

    I don’t have a sister…..anymore….


  45. Your Mother says:

    I,d totally go for my sister it wouldn,t be pleasant by any means but
    1. She doesn’t look like a humaniod sharpae
    2. It would be down south so i wouldn’t have to look at her face
    3 “Also, when you’re super close to a vajayjay it kinda looks the same”
    my thoughts have been heard

  46. Mindlight says:

    Usually when I get a bj from my girlfriend, I pretend it’s my mom, so this might work out nicely.

  47. Anonymous says:

    i concur. ugh. ::shivers with disgust::

  48. Taco says:

    What if my mom is just doing it to help straighten my penis cause it has a hook?