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Drunken Argument Friday: Is Quentin Tarantino a Visionary, or a Douchebag?

 
If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really important stuff, like whether Quentin Tarantino is a visionary or a douchebag. Here’s what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
 
Drunken Argument that Quentin Tarantino is a Visionary:
 
 
There’s no doubt in my mind that Quentin Tarantino is a visionary and a genius.  His body of work alone commands respect:  Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs, Jackie Brown.  All of these films are great, but let’s forget about his work for a second and talk about him as a person, because that’s what this is all about.  If his films alone weren’t enough to make you think that he’s a f*cking genius, how about the way he talks?  He’s figured out a way to talk that makes people listen to him.  He took a bad Jay Leno impression and mixed it with a kind of gay lisp-y pretentious tone to create the voice of a god.  How can you not hang on every word?  Especially when he does that thing with his face that makes him look like he just smelled a really bad fart.  I’m telling you, this guy knows what he’s doing.  And if that’s not enough, this guy is such a visionary that he can just make up how he wants to spell words, and nobody even bats an eye.  Case in point: Inglourious Basterds.  Yeah, he knows that’s not how you spell it, but he doesn’t give a f*ck.  You know why?  Because he’s Quentin motherf*ckin’ Tarantino, a visionary, and he can spell the titles of his movies however the hell he wants to…basterd.
 
 
Drunken Argument that Quentin Tarantino is a Douchebag:
 
 

Here’s a good question that you can ask someone to determine if they’re a Tarantino fan or not:  imagine you’re walking down the street, and you notice an enormous pile of wet, slimy, steaming dog shit.  You also notice that there’s a quarter sticking out of the dog shit, but there’s no way you can get the quarter out without just digging through the shit with your bare hands.  Would you go for the quarter?  If you answered Yes to this question, then you’re a Tarantino fan, because it’s the same exactly f*cking thing.  Every Tarantino movie is like a five minute short film stretched out into 2 hours (and sometimes 4 hours).  QT knows that he’s only got five minutes of story, too, and so he just throws pounds and pounds of useless f*cking boring-ass dialogue to convolute everything and make it seem artsy and cool.  Is there anyone out there who honestly likes all of Pulp Fiction from start to finish?  No, there isn’t.  There are people who really like specific scenes of Pulp Fiction, but the movie as a whole is disjointed and stupid. Were the Kill Bill movies anything more than just really awesome fight scenes bridged together by useless f*cking exposition of a shitty, half-assed plot drenched in witty catchphrases?  No, they weren’t.  Having said that, I’m still going to see Inglorious Basterds this weekend, but only because it’s about killing Nazis, and that’s worth digging through a pile of steaming dog shit for.  In closing, Quentin Tarantino can lick my balls.  In fact, I’ll crouch down in a pile of cocaine first, so that he’ll be more comfortable with it.  F*ckin’ Jagoff.
 

40 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: Is Quentin Tarantino a Visionary, or a Douchebag?"

  1. Quinten Tarantono says:

    Hey Joshua,

    What are “mo fuckas?”

    You illiterate fuck.

  2. asdfghjkl says:

    Why the fuck would you post that you dumbass?

  3. MadScott says:

    Douche/Genius? Who cares – he’s a master at marketing brainless, unoriginal ripoffs to Hollywood. Nobody ever lost money underestimating the taste (nor intellect) of the American public and he’s doing very well at it. If you waste your money seeing it, don’t bitch.

  4. A. Nell Fisher says:

    You like it when guys “harden the fuck up,” do ya?

  5. Wendymcsexy says:

    I, honestly feel like that is the purpose of the article. You’re giving the article (or arguements) life meaning. People become pretty touchy here, don’t they?

  6. Anonymoosex says:

    Chocolate, hardware store??? Fag chop??? Where did you get your insult skillz there princess, a 99 cents store? Gayass tarantino fagbois like this make me laugh.

  7. clubf00t says:

    stop ur bitchin u little prick, now stop posting shitty comments and jerk off to a picture of QT while listening 2 the director commentary on kill bill..(just by reading ur comment i know that own and love both of those horrible films)

  8. dermofthedead says:

    em jewbie, are we not allowed opinion? do we all have to agree?

    personally i think QT is overrated, he rips off asian movies, uses crap film and crap dialogue. lived off pulp fiction for all this time, like samuel jackson.

    so go fuck yourself you annoying fuck, thank god for freedom of thought and expression, or wed all be like you dickhead

  9. Thunderscrotum says:

    OK, I went and saw Inglorious Basterds — fucking AWESOME. However, I thought the last line (“I think this just might be my masterpiece”) was more than a little bit douchey. So … he’s both. BOTH, I tell you.

  10. Jackoofff says:

    Yeah, everyone keeps saying that. It was a fucking hour longer than it should have been. And the Basterds were only in about half the movie. The entire movie was comprised of like 3 scenes that were 45 minutes long each…or at least that’s how it felt.

    Brad Pitt was awesome in it. So was the Jew Hunter. Other than that, the movie was too fucking long and too many of the scenes were absolutely pointless.

  11. Joshua says:

    All of you people how be talkin that shit about QT can all fuckin burn in hell!!! I mean seriously is that all you have better to do is shit talk people when all they do IS what they do…he’s a fucking film maker!!! He makes fucking films…Thats what he fuckin doess.. You fuckin bitches… Youse guys are the D-bags!! Always talkin shit!! Stop being little shits and just respect this mother fucker cause he is in fact a mo fuckin great director, and a fuckin visionary!!! Now, stop fuckin hatein…you little bastards!

  12. Joshua says:

    Stop calling him a douche!!!! You moter fuckers dont even fucking know him…Goddamn!! Youse guys are all fuckin worthless…you know that?!! And yeah, I dont know’em either but I at least have the fuckin common goddmn courtesy to get know someone before I start fuckin callin’em a douche…and you guys dont count cause I have a pretty good feeling that mo fuckas that just sit around and talk shit are fuckin douchebags!! Boom!!!!!

  13. Cassak says:

    Inglorious Basterds was amazing.

  14. tron says:

    Tarantino is a fucken douchebag. Have you ever heard him get angry? It makes real men sick hearing that whiny, nerdy, extreme fanboy talk about any fucking thing. Look at me! I’m a visionary! I take a half decent short film and add all the faggy shit i like to talk about to make it 2 whole hours! I know everything about Japanese culture! Pass me the coke you asshole!

  15. mclucas longhman says:

    hint: go back & READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE

  16. The Douchealist says:

    word

  17. Thunderscrotum says:

    I don’t doubt he’s a douchebag in his personal life, but as far as a director, I vote visionary. Each film is better than the last.

    Reservoir Dogs = most over-fucking-rated movie of all time.
    Pulp Fiction = still overrated, but not nearly as much.
    Jackie Brown = UNDERrated, but not liked by anyone but me, apparently. Yes, I thought it was better than Pulp Fiction.
    Kill Bill = gave the first 3 swirlies, threw them in a trash can and kicked them down the stairs.
    Inglourious Basterds = haven’t seen it yet, but I’m guessing it won’t disappoint.

    (yes, I know there’s other shit I’m leaving out, blah blah Death Proof yak yak that one episode of ER blah blibby blah blah blah)

  18. Josh M says:

    I’m going to see Inglourious Basterds tonight. I’ll let you know if he’s a visionary or a douchebag.

  19. MrKillson says:

    There’s no argument here.
    A Visionary can still be Douchey.

  20. Smokey says:

    I like some of his movies
    but hes a douche

  21. BigBen says:

    agreed but i feel like i would have to see what a mermaid vag looks like first.

  22. Ronald McDonald says:

    Who is Quentin Tarantino?

    haha…my captcha is bucyk deadwood.

  23. BigBen says:

    next drunken argument friday. Regular mermaid or reverse mermaid

  24. clubf00t says:

    finally i thought i was alone in my hatred for Quentin Tarantino, i hate the way in all of his movies have like 45 minutes of useless dialogue. i like pulp fiction and reservoir dogs, but i skip the shitty parts. o ya kill bill sucked ass

  25. Patrick Swayze says:

    Reverse, no contest. You get a human giner and pooper, and a fish face to fuck. Trust me as long as the fish retracts its teeth fish head is the best.

  26. stompy says:

    All you taratino haters are a bunch chocolate dipping, ass pounding, fag chop faggots. go to the hardware store and buy yourself a tin of HARDEN THE FUCK UP! Fuckin sissys.

  27. Ryan says:

    Tarantino fans are really just silly stupid people with half a soul.

  28. Connor says:

    Lady Snowblood

  29. Ripoff Artist says:

    All of his films are rip-offs of Asian films. Kill Bill was shot for shot ripped off of a Japanese film.

  30. Jonni says:

    Planet Terror was directed by Robert Rodriguez not Tarantino.

  31. pratik says:

    Oh.

    Well those two hang out so much anyway, it might as well count as half a Tarantino movie.

  32. pratik says:

    I don’t mind his movies much, but I wish he’d stop putting himself into a cameo role of his own movies.

    I saw Planet Terror last night, and his attempted rape of the one-legged girl was more confusing than disturbing.

  33. Blackie says:

    Outside of Pulp Fiction the guy’s movies suck. The dialog in them is exactly what it’s like to talk to an asshole in real life when you are stuck somewhere, like on a plane, and can’t just get up and end the conversation. And just look at him. The guy’s a prick.

  34. supermanlymangunowner says:

    the opening scene in reservoir dogs fucking rules, but besides all that tarantino talk , someone give me a dog gawn beer!

  35. Jambalaya says:

    Sukiyaki Western Django is the worst movie ever made. A steaming, hot, nasty pile of dogshit of a movie if there ever was one. Tarantino is a douchebag FTW.

  36. Anonymoosex says:

    He is a douchebag. Is there anyone more in love with him than himself? And the “smelled fresh farts” face is asking for a hammer shaped like a fist to be smashed into it.

  37. lunchboy says:

    he is a douchebag. why? he was on American Idol. fuck him.

    today i had an open face sammich. one half was turkey and swiss and the other was ham and swiss. herr’s cheese curls on the side with a wild cherry pepsi.

    argue about that fucking lunch you geeks!

  38. you are both idiots says:

    none of these arguments against him make any sense. Really

  39. jiz says:

    lolll.

    hence title?

  40. Kill Bill sucked says:

    Kill Bill was the worst shittiest movie I have ever seen. Woohoo! Somebodies head was chopped off. Woohoo! You rhymed 2 words in a nine word sentence. Uma Thurman’s has man hands and I had to look at them in that shitty ass movie. Fuck Quentin Tarantino! I’m still going to see Inglourious Basterds.


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