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Drunken Argument Friday: Real Boobs vs. Fake Boobs

If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really stupid things, like what’s better: real boobs or fake boobs? Here’s what it looks like when we do both at the same time:

Drunken Argument That Real Boobs are Better:
Real boobs are way better than fake ones for a variety of reasons. First off, the name says it all: "real". Real is always better than fake. Would you rather have real cheese, or fake cheese? A real Christmas tree or a fake one? A real girlfriend, or one of those weird-ass pillow girls that are popular in Japan right now? If that’s not enough to convince you that real boobs are better, then how about the fact that real boobs can sustain life? How is your starving baby supposed to eat through a plastic balloon? Speaking of breast milk, you know it makes real boobs bigger, right? In fact, a lot of things can change the size of real boobs, so just even thogh you’ve been in a relationship with the same girl for many years, you’re still going to get a variety out of her real boobs without having to stray. Finally, it really comes down to trust. Sure, fake boobs might look good from afar, but once you get your hands on those skin-covered stones, the only thoughts crossing your mind will be ones of disappointment and deceit. If this woman is willing to lie about her physical appearance, how could you ever trust her medically altered life? What else does she have that’s fake? Once this question makes it into your mind, you’ll never be able to get a boner, I promise you. Just avoid the stress altogether and go with 100% natural real boobs.
Drunken Argument That Fake Boobs are Better:

Fake boobs are way better than real boobs for about a million different reasons. First off, they’re predictable. It doesn’t matter what position a girl is standing, sitting, or laying in; her fake boobs are always going to be perky and perfect. She could be laying flat on her back and her boobs would still be pointing straight up, like two brilliant St. Peter’s Cathedral domes. Real boobs are also subject to variations in a girl’s hormone levels, which is why her boobs will get bigger/smaller depending on what time of the month it is. You don’t have to deal with any of that when you’re working with fake boobs. They’re always going to be whatever size you paid for. Secondly, fake boobs are completely customizable, which is why girls get them to begin with. You want them firm and natural-sized? You can do that! You want them cartoonishly huge? You can do that too, my friend! Real boobs are only as big as nature wants them to be. Fake boobs can be whatever you want! It’s like having a body made of legos! Really expensive legos! Thirdly, fake boobs are better because they’re featured in most of the porn that you watch. Let’s face it: when you’re banging a real live chick, you’re trying to replicate the scenarios you see in porn movies as closely as you can. Odds are pretty good that the girl you’re hooking up with will not be wearing clear 7-inch platform heels, and you probably aren’t a cable repair guy with a 13-inch dong, but you can’t expect it to be exactly the same as the porn you watch. You’re just trying to get as close as you can. Fake boobs are a huge step in that direction (no pun intended), and your sexual experience, awkward and clumsy as it will most certainly be, is going to seem more like a super-hot porn scene thanks to those big fake titties. In conclusion, it’s 2010 and people 50 years ago expected humans to be completely cyborged out by now, which means that fake boobs are the future!
What Do You Think: Fake Boobs or Real Boobs?

108 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: Real Boobs vs. Fake Boobs"

  1. Pigpen says:

    LMAO! I want one real and one fake, too, so I can roll her over one way or the other and pretend I’m having a threesome with two different amputee chicks. :D

  2. Pigpen says:


  3. Stick says:

    Whomever chooses artificial is retarded.

  4. Fuck yeah! says:

    natural all the way

  5. Anony-mouse says:

    most faked boobs look faked like a pack on top and ugly shape – natural looking faked once are okay – naturals are better (like perfect 10 magazine)

  6. goosh says:

    I like ‘em Big and Round and Chunkay!!!

  7. DungSniffer says:


  8. nerd says:

    I knew a girl whose fake titty popped in her chest. Kaboom!

  9. Barn Door says:

    Girls with fake tits are sluts. Sluts like it in the butt, then the vagina, and then finally in the mouth. So find a nice pretty girl with natural tits for you girlfriend and find a nice slutty ho to fuck occasionally that you don’t have to kiss after you dick her butt.

  10. Fucking Idiot says:

    You know, I’m pretty much a fucking idiot and I don’t like fate tits…fake is fake…what else is fake about this chick? Got tiny tits, hook up with a guy with a tiny pee-pee, sounds like a good trade off to me.

  11. Fake is OK says:

    Of course implants are “real”! If the fall in the forest, do they make a sound?

  12. DuhSister says:

    Well, I’m not bald and I think Rogaine is silly.

    You have no need for implants… Why are you telling us your opinion? If you were an A cup who had to seriously consider these then you’d have a reason to say “Hey, I’m an A cup and I wouldn’t do that.” Instead, you have NO FREAKING CLUE how the women who do get implants feel about themselves and their bodies.

    It’s as crass as me laughing at my balding buddy when I see the Rogaine in his shower. Haha, I have a full head of hair and you have to use Rogaine…. Ha. I have an uncle that lost his hair at 18, I know how he feels about being bald.

    Breast implants are also used to help women recover after mastectomies… “Haha, F-you cancer survivor with your fake titties.”

    You women suck.

  13. Just a fact here says:

    If I can touch em, they’re real.

  14. DonkeyPwnte says:

    My sweaty man boobs are all-natural, boys – AND they’re lactating at the moment! Who’s ready for some buttermilk?

  15. Ninmir says:

    Real boobs is where it’s at. I’ve motorboated many a pair and the squishy, warm, soft feeling of real breasts beat fake ones every time. Plus, if you’ve got a pair of great, perky c-cup boobies, it’s a plus. They’re the perfect size, and it’s a perk to know they’re real.

  16. Jus Me says:

    More than a mouth full is a waste anyway..

  17. John says:

    When your talking about real -vs- fake you have to make sure your compairing apples to apples so to speak…..So lets start, #1 you wont find small fake breasts. So we can only talk about Natural Big breasts -vs- Enhanced Big Breasts. And every time the Natural will win, until gravity moves them. At that point Enhanced is better.

    Now lets go back the the small Breasts, Most men will look at a larger breasted woman more than a smaller one, thats why they get inplants. So what we need to discuss is what is better Small breasts -vs- Large breasts. or Small Breasts -vs- Enhanced Breasts

  18. LalLa says:

    ure sad. & btw i bet god dont even like the idea of performing surgery on perfectly healthy ppl. think its called vanity or something :s

  19. LalLa says:

    exactly what i mean :respect:

  20. Jed says:

    Obviously you’ve never titty fucked a girl before.

  21. cosmo_333 says:


  22. Astaroth says:

    Never been interested in football, so why would I have any interest in a woman with a couple of footballs glued to her chest?
    Some implants look better than others, but even the best are still pretty dire.

  23. peteyroberto says:

    fake tits kinda suck only if the chick gets the implants OVER the muscle…cuz then you can see the implant bags through the skin and wen you squeeze em u can tell there are bags in em and they are super hard…when they are inserted under the muscle they are way more real looking and feeling…ive been lucky to have put my cock btween both yipppeeee!

  24. A Punk In Drublic says:

    Not for those of us who like a handful. And if she has less, its all good. Her ass is great for grabbing too.

    That said – real all the way. Fakies just look and feel wrong but to each his or her own.

  25. davidt says:

    We grown men don’t obsess over boobs the way young, immature boys do.

    We obsess over asses.

  26. MissBrookeBamBam says:

    I’m a natural 34DDD. :)
    I don’t like fake boobs, they don’t look like boobs, and they don’t feel like them either. I guess if a chick is completely flat it would be better is she got implants. But I prefer natural women. I’d rather be with a woman who is a natural B-cup than a fake D-cup.

  27. soph says:

    I completely agree with you.. I’m a natural 32FF but I would much rather see a woman with natural smaller breasts than larger fake ones because they can just look so odd and disproportioned when over enhanced

  28. fcuk you says:

    that was a horrible comment

  29. titfancy says:

    Bullshit, dude. The only cock you ever had was the one up your ass! loser. Ha ha ha

  30. APPRECIATIVE says:


  31. Miss C says:

    I want to you if you prefer real-saggy or real-scars from the lift?

  32. Jim says:

    I second this lol. Real boobs all the way.

  33. Mr. T says:


  34. Anonymousshrfhs says:

    One real other fake please…

  35. Barry McCockinner says:

    wait!….there are FAKE boobs?

  36. Jess Deeno says:

    I dunno, I have always felt if its more than a handful, its a waste!


  37. litmus says:

    tits are fucking lame you monkeyhumpers

  38. DoGoodHer says:

    Not really. The part that doesn’t fit in your hand can go in your mouth.

  39. Anonymousalso says:

    If you can touch it, it’s real. So, fake is real meaning real double wins.

  40. laanon says:

    i totally agree. i’m a natural 36DD, and i would much prefer nice, natural B-cups over fake D-cups any day.

  41. Knaws says:

    Mmmmm. Boobies.

  42. kevin romig says:

    real…..but look fake.

  43. Theolodios says:

    Real boobs are like pizza: even when they’re not hot, it’s still good. I myself prefer natural, small breasts. When I was younger, I liked larger breasts, but now I’ve noticed what happens to women once gravity sets in.

  44. Alex Herdea says:

    Omg, the article was verrrryyy funy indeed :) )
    hmm, fake boobs, real boobs, both work :D as long as they’re big :x

    cheers to the writer :)

  45. slampig says:

    gotta love those big natural titties. most fake tit jobs ive seen are way to fake to be a huge turn on. yes its nice to see a woman with perky fake boobs, but natural ones, whether big or small are so much better. if they are saggy big ones, get a breast lift. they’re still natural and they won’t sag as much. plus gotta love grabbing those natural boobs while having sex, or watching them bounce up and down.

  46. Perm says:

    Variety is the spice of life, if they wern’t all different none of them would be special.

  47. bruno says:

    there is no such thing as fake boobs!did somebody conjure up some magical titties out of thin air?or what?

  48. Lancer says:

    I choose, C – Both.

    Boobs are great either way, are you kidding me, what kind of question is this… it is like heads I win, tails I win.

    I have noticed that women with nice boobs are generally more sexy & flirty, better in bed and have a better time. Especially women that I have known that started off with small boobs, then got some fake ones. It gives them more self confidence or they feel sexier, which in turn makes it even better.

  49. cocky says:

    I prefer natural tiny tits

  50. Kenny Lingus says:

    Excellent argument topic…and the answer is YES!

  51. Bah.. says:

    Thats quite sad. I obviously prefer natural boobs, no matter if its flat or big. Dont you know big breasts r bad for the woman’s back? breasts arent made of pumped hydrogen you know, theyre heavy. Breasts gets saggy over time if theyre too big, and you all who actually prefers huge fake boobs probably r those sad morons who just wants sex. Plus, there might be complications such as the breast implants get dirty and mouldy inside resulting bad health for the woman. Not only that it is unhealthy, it is DISGUSTING.

    Men should stop objectifying women as sex machines who need to upgrade their breasts for better visual experience. sigh.

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  53. The Tittilator says:

    About the only PLUS that Fake Boobs have is that the wearers are usually very prone to show them off without the wrapping!

  54. big cock says:

    Rather real than implants. Rather implants than ugly saggy tits. Only way you get nice perky real boobs is to only fuck 19 year old women. to fuck 19 year old women all the time as a guy in his mid 20s means you have to listen to them a lot…which sucks worse than fucking a 25 year old broad with a nice set of implants who can hold a conversation with you when you are joking with your buddys, watching sports or drinking beer.

  55. lulu says:

    Fake men like fake boobs – real men like real boobs.

  56. 5.5 inch penis says:

    My wife just got implants – silicone under the muscle. She was a 36B to now probably a 36D -we won’t know yet until the swelling goes away. I’ve always been a big tittie man. Natural 36C is my perfect breast size. I hate fake tits that are obviously fake, the kind Jessie Jane has. Those are rediculous. They look like two punching balloons. She is so hot, but her airbags turn me off. The best fake tits are ones that look real -that have a little sag to them.

    I always perfer real tits over fake, just on the fact who they feel; but being a tittie man, I’m now glad I spend the $6000 for her to get big tits. I haven’t gotten an instant hard on buy just looking at her since we first started dating 12 years ago. I can’t wait to blow my load all over those fun bags. It’s put that much needed extra spark in our marriage. After 3 kids sucking on her tits, they’ve become real nasty looking, kind of what you see on a gorilla -all saggy and flat. Her tits only looked good when she was laying on her back; now her tits look increadible from any position, any angle. It’s really helped her self-esteem. If woman want breast implants for themselves, then go for it.

  57. FAKE FOREVER says:


  58. omg says:

    C fake rather than D or even DD real… fake looks better

  59. MPS says:

    Implants are repulsive, as are the insecure women that need them! B-cups are perfection!

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  61. @TheGirlPie says:

    Real boobs for me;
    fake boobs for her.

  62. Emmalou says:

    I don’t like fake tits because they’re unfair! I have 10F’s and am constantly annoyed that now everyone else can have them too without having to endure the agony of high school cruelty, old lady sales assistants making fun of your first bra because it’s huge, speeding over speed bumps, running slightly too fast down stairs & waking up in agony after accidentally sleeping on my stomach not to mention not being able to buy pretty bras.

    They do look pretty darn awesome though. Fake tits suck. Where’s the life experience in fake tits? Also fake tits always seem to look square or something minus airbrushing.

  63. elttezansha says:

    okeee dokeee boys… all bewbies are fun to look at but when i comes to playing with bewbies the natural ones are the only way to play… big or small if you are mature enough it dosnt make a diff be natural and its all elementary

  64. elttezansha says:

    you go girl and when your a little older get them reduced so you dont have back problems.. seriously i have a friend almost as big as you and she went in to have is done in here lat 30s now she is in heaven as far as health goes. and the are still fun to look at as well as other stuff see ya

  65. PhillyPlayboy says:

    @laanon 36DD are perfect

  66. Becky says:

    I rather real boobies :)
    Fake is just so … Just no lol

  67. MrCurvy says:

    It doesn’t matter much if she can really suck dick

  68. lin says:


  69. ian says:

    come on is there really a bad boob?

  70. BJSSIDHU says:

    BOOBS make a woman.Without them she looks like an airstrip!!

  71. BJSSIDHU says:

    Big boobs make a nice headrest for a man!!!

  72. cheddarfedz says:

    Jeez, settle down. i bet you couldt even tell the difference half of the time jerkoff, you just wanted to sound cool. Of course natural is better but you can’t say that well done fake ones dont look good. Boobs are boobs, and nice ones look nice mkay

  73. brea:)\ says:

    what makes you happy?? boobs are boobs go fr wht you like..damn not a big deal..

  74. Mingus Dew says:

    yeah i agree natural is the best but fake can be pretty good to if done well, not really for super big or nothin but if they get em a lil bigger that good and they also make em look all perfect too so it has its pluses

  75. Anonymousy says:

    I like big natural boobs, fake boobs don’t turn me on at all, and if you like fake boobs it means you have a small dick and also sucked a dick in your childhood.

  76. brea says:

    to:really?..why the hell you telling someone to sht the fck off..dude honestly do you even noe the person..your damn messed up..id luagh my ass off if someone told you stait out to shut the fck off..damn..

  77. azzz dumb lick my courch says:

    dnt tell him or her too stfu u dirty hoe


  78. philosøpher says:

    It’s like having a body made of legos! love it

  79. really? says:

    shut the fuck up.

  80. good point... says:

    i normally like natural boobs, but after reading this i might have to rethink. what’s better; real, tiny boobs? or big ol’ fake ones? i think the bo=ig fake ones. however, big natural ones are way better

  81. Dr. says:


    Small boobs < Big boobs ≤ Big real boobs

  82. robbeh says:

    extremely disagree with you guys. i’d rather have small breasts on a girl than big real ones. honestly, have you seen how badly they sag? they’re like fucking dumbo ears stapled onto a chest, especially when they’re DDs or larger! i’d say medium sized breasts, or something a little bit bigger would be the best option.

  83. office jerq says:

    fake tits serve a purpose: if the chick has terrible real boobs they can act as a good middle ground, an artificial parts.

    Sure, a real leg is always better, but an artificial leg beats no leg at all.

  84. Woah says:

    I have a question – what do you guys think about small but perfectly shaped boobs over big and saggy ones?

  85. THE 13TH JUROR says:

    Men!!! LOL!!! That’s why I love you… you guys are nuts!

  86. rover says:

    fuck all of you

  87. Xavier267 says:

    I dream of the day where I meet a girl that has fake boobs, one boob has a TV remote control installed in it, and the other boob dispenses beer! I would never leave the bed room!

  88. John Felix Koziol says:

    Real. Period!

  89. Avg guy says:

    Fake by far… no sagging!

  90. choadey62 says:

    i like real boobs no bigger than a C cup, more than a handful is a waste, when im doin a chick on her back i like to look at her tits, this is where fake boobs are good cause they stay still and where real not so big ones are also good………

  91. Dr. says:


    Finally, someone that makes sense.

  92. ThisFuckin'Guy! says:

    For real man! Who gives a fuck? I’d rather have real, average C cups than fake C cups, but I’d rather have fake C cups than B cups lol. I’ve been around a few fake boobs, they aren’t as firm as this makes them sound, and even if they were, why is that such a big deal? No worse than saggy soft titties if you ask me… and for real… lube up some fake titties and fuck’em, it’ll make a believer out of you.

  93. twitch says:

    i like boobies fake or real they still rock my world

  94. ganesh says:

    Real boobs i like very much . how much sexy is the real boobs. i love real boobs

  95. Juggmahn says:

    Real boobs are a sham..if they are real, big natural boobs. If they’re big, it’s likely that they feel like one big, disappointing globule of fat. I don’t particularly go for that.

    Think back to the first chick’s tit you felt. Chances are she was around 14 at the time, and shit was badass. Nothing will be more erotic than that moment because it was the first time you crossed the threshold to Mandom. That moment was like getting a blowjob and punching out a T-Rex at the same time. Both erotic and tesostertastically validating. Every sexual experience thereafter is simply an attempt to get back to that moment.

    And guess what? young boobs are perky boobs. Age un-perks boobs. Fake boobs un-age shit, which means that fake boobs get you somewhat closer to the first boob you copped a feel on. I win

  96. A Punk In Drublic says:

    “Nothing will be more erotic than that moment because it was the first time you crossed the threshold to Mandom”

    Feeling up a teenage titty in those first encounters of physical intimacy are indeed an important step in one’s sexual interactions with the opposite sex but they don’t make you a man. Any fool can cop a feel and genuine maturity is based on a hell of a lot more.

    If you think that nothing will be more erotic than that moment you have a lot of growing up to do and a very limited imagination. The intensity of the experience had more to do with the raging storm of adolescent hormones coursing through your body and the excitement and novelty of the experience. Especially if you thought you’d get in shit for doing it.

    “Every sexual experience thereafter is simply an attempt to get back to that moment.”

    Why do I get the feeling you own one of those creepy vans and lurk around middle schools.”

    “And guess what? young boobs are perky boobs”

    Your grasp of the obvious is stunning.

    “Age un-perks boobs”

    Er, I think you mean “Age makes boobs to sag.”

    “Fake boobs un-age shit”

    Ever seen an aging pornstar with implants? Implants in a sagging breast isn’t pretty.

    “fake boobs get you somewhat closer to the first boob you copped a feel on.”

    Not even close. Hell, not even in the same timezone.

    “I win”

    Nope. Again, not even close.

  97. LOL says:

    first fails…

  98. BigD says:


  99. Jovit Baldivino says:

    love it! hmmmm
    more boobs!!
    Jovit Baldivino

  100. Finally.... says:


  101. lin says:

    Now that is just awesome !!! Real boobs can stay nice and perky too if the lady eats a good clean diet and works out a lot with weights. That’ll do it . : )

  102. PlayinRoundinMI says:

    OK – I’m really not sure why there is an argument here. Boobs are meaningless dudes – it’s so much better to eat at the Y

  103. Anonymous123 says:

    reals ones are better but fuck that i prefer ass

  104. phantasygirl says:


  105. BigD says:

    #1 real boobies

  106. DonkeyXote says:

    Weird pillow girlfriends?

    What’s so weird about them, I’ve been living with my pillow girlfriend for years now…

  107. Mr Foster says:

    I myself view it like this.
    large natural breasts sag too much. have you ever seen a girl with DDs lay down? Her tits fall into her armpits. So if we are talking large breasts i believe fake is better. But I’m more into B – C cups. More than a mouthful is over eating.

  108. Jimmy says:

    real boobs, no question