If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink
, it’s argue
about really important things, like who’s a better Robin Hood: Kevin Costner or Russell Crowe? Here’s what it looks like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument that Kevin Costner is Better:
Kevin Costner played Robin Hood in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, which came out in 1991. For an entire generation of people, Kevin Costner is Robin Hood, because that’s the only one we had (except for that bow-weilding, freedom-fighting Disney fox who hung out with a bear, competed in a skills competition, and won the heart of the only other fox in the kingdom who happened to also be a princess, which is completely ridiculous because everyone knows that foxes don’t ever hang out with bears). Bringing Russell Crowe in to play the beloved, debatably-real Robin Hood is like meeting your new step-dad: it doesn’t matter how good he is, you’re never going to like him as much as you like your real dad, because he punched a hotel desk clerk with a phone last year. Some people would argue that Kevin Costner didn’t even try to affect an English accent in Prince of Thieves, and therefore Russell Crowe’s natural accent will lend itself to playing the part of an ancient British robber-hero much better. But keep in mind that Crowe is from Australia, so his accent is going to sound like someone filled British person’s mouth with oatmeal and shit and then choked him while forcing him to use make-believe words like "Crikey" and "Wallaby". The bottom line is this, though: Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood will never have a sidekick as badass as Morgan Freeman. Therefore, Kevin Costner wins.
Drunken Argument that Russell Crowe is Better:
Russell Crowe will make a way better Robin Hood than Kevin Costner because Russell Crowe is way more bad-ass than Kevin Costner. Just look at the two actor’s reputations, Costner is known for making 4 hour movies about the end of civilization. Crowe is known for beating the shit out of anything that bothers him. Who would you rather have on your side in a bow and arrow fight? Also in case you forgot, Crowe and Ridly Scott have already done Gladiator together and by the trailers Robin Hood looks to be shaping up as Gladiator 2: The 13th Century Edition. This can only mean it has no choice but to be super badass and include a gradtuitous amount of graphic arrows to the face and neck shots. Finally if you really want to bring up side kicks, Crowe’s Little John is the dude who played The Blob in the Wolverine movie. I have seen that dude in person, he is like 6’6 and would absolutely kick the ass of Morgan Freeman, plus he was on Lost, which makes him magic or something.
What Do You Think: Kevin Costner or Russell Crowe?