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Drunken Argument Friday: Strip Clubs

drunken argument, strip clubs, funny
 
If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really important stuff like are strip clubs good or bad. Here’s what it sounds like when when we do both at the same time.
 
drunken argument, friday, strip club
 
Drunken Argument Against Strip Clubs:
Hey guys, I have a shitty idea! Let’s blow $500 on a night out and NOT get laid. Doesn’t that sound awesome? Yeah, so, first, we’ll pay a really huge cover to get into a "bar" that  looks like it was last cleaned in 1984. And then once we get there, we’ll get to pay $15 for a watered down vodka tonic. And if that’s not enough, we’ll also get to see totally busted chicks caked in makeup…are you ready?…NAKED! Because if there’s one thing that gives me a boner it’s being surrounded by moist, gunked up carpet and shitty drinks. AMIRIGHT?!?!? Yes, dude. And if we’re really feeling lucky, we’ll get to pay them even more money to rub their used-up bodies all over us! But we can’t touch them. Or have sex with them (unless we want to pay even more! Wink wink!)
 
Doesn’t that sound awesome? I mean, it would be a waste of time to go to a boring old "regular" bar where we would pay a lot less but have the chance to meet girls we could actually have sex with, right?
 
drunken argument, friday, strip clubs
 
 
Drunken Argument For Strip Clubs:
Let’s see here, what happens when you walk into a strip club? A half-naked woman takes me to my table and then an actual naked woman shoves her big-ass boobs and her big-ass ass in my face for $20. Hmm, yeah, that’s really a bad time. Then, when I’m done with that I sit there and watch some other naked girl swing around on a pole to Bon Jovi’s "You Give Love A Bad Name" or Motley Crue’s "Girls Girls Girls." Oh, man. How can I stand it?

 
I mean, I can think of absolutely zero things wrong with spending an evening like that. Sure, it costs a little more than one of those regular bars that are full of fat guys and girls with their clothes on, but that’s why I have a job. If I’m gonna spend my money, I’d rather spend a little more to get slapped around by some melons. And if you have any kind of game, you’d know that you can date strippers just as easily as you can any regular girls. And they know a helluva lot more in the sack than the wasted fatty you’re dragging back to your apartment at 3 am. You’re a shitty dumbass who’s afraid of tits. Get a job.
 
Now it’s your turn to chime in. Just follow these easy steps: 
 
Step 1: Drink 7 beers
Step 2: Vote (You can vote as often as you want. Just refresh the page to vote again or see the newest results)
Step 3: Type whatever stream of consciousness bullshit that comes into your head on this topic in the comment section.
Step 4: Continue being awesome
 
 
(Note: Poll results–no pun intended–are slightly delayed.)
 

54 Responses to "Drunken Argument Friday: Strip Clubs"

  1. Bee says:

    I generally I have the money but I don’t have a strip club to go to!

    Too funny to let it go: seat belt for baby fail
    http://www.epiclosers.com/load/8-1-0-294

  2. byombyom says:

    First off, make sure you wear mesh shorts because you’ll get more pleasure out of each and every grrrrrrind. It’s easy to fall in love in there. When the stripper stares lustily into your eyes, says ‘you’re cute’, and playfully touches your arm, you should treat it just like any other flirtatious woman: tell her you love her. Then try your damnedest to have anal sex with her. Listen, strippers love anal, especially after being told you love them.

    This is a ridiculous debate, strip clubs are the zenith of class, a true gentleman’s paradise. Make sure you wear a rubber when you’re cranking away at ‘Diamond’s’ vag for $600 on the floor of the restroom. She’s probably clean, but the leftover sputum and nutbutter covering the floor should be avoided at all costs.

    Best Stripclubs in the country: Junction City, Kansas.

    *Best=Most Horrifying

  3. walrus says:

    I generally don’t have enough money to go to a strip club.

    So, for the money that I do have — why waste it?

  4. TrillVille says:

    Srip Clubs are the shit. Specially when you know what to say to the girls.

    And I haven’t been to one where they dont let you touch them. That sounds horrible.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I worked in a strip club for about 10 years. I can nail a stripper just as easy as some other bimbo at a regular bar. You just have to know how to talk to them. Most just want sex and not a relationship.

  6. Anonymous says:

    And shockingly, you’re still single.

  7. blueBalls says:

    hear, hear. Monging ftw.

  8. Anonymous says:

    WHAAA??? $2 lap dances??!?!? theres either A LOT of strip clubs nearby or this must be the strip club in the ghetto or trailer park… or you live in mexico. the strip club i went to charged $20 and it was a hole in the wall that constantly got charged for prostitution and drugs

  9. How about... says:

    “El Mojo” Youve been talking shit about every1 here about them being nerds etc. still, youre the one here whom regulary goes to stripclubs, also youve commented 10 times on one HT thread.

    Get a girl worth keeping and stick with her bitch.

  10. DingDongHead says:

    we’ve got a primo strip club that costs ten bucks to get in, and while the drinks are expensive, if you’re smart you get liquored up long before you get there, then sip on one beer all night. after that, it’s the only place in the world any bitch will rub her tits all over you for one dollar. seriously. two tits for a dollar. any male who argues against strip clubs in this thread is doing so because his girlfriend is standing over his shoulder.

    Boosh. Fuck ya’ll.

  11. Bee says:

    You are right most of them just want to spread aids!

    Too funny to let it go: seat belt for baby fail
    http://www.epiclosers.com/load/8-1-0-294

  12. Anonymous says:

    Strip clubs are for people who are afraid to actually talk to real women. There’s also the whole creepy misogynistic vibe to the whole thing…

  13. Bubba says:

    I can speak for yall but any dude in a serious relationship; strip clubs is for us! I like to wear no underwear and a pair of jogging pants so when i get a lap dance. She rubbing all up on my slong. Well worth the 20 bucks, also invest in a flask.

    Bubba

  14. Anomynous says:

    ^^ epic-est of epic wins.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Pregame…bring only cash…The Penthouse…$10 cover…$5 for full nude area…$2 per lap dance…done.
    A buddy of mine only had a dollar and the stripper wanted another dollar so he dug around in his pocket and snapped his ATM receipt under her G string…classy.
    Soon the strippers will fight for your tips as they look at themselves in the mirror.
    You go to see chicks work it for you…no yappity bullshit then you leave and try to get drunk sex from your pissed off woman…hoping she doesnt see titty glitter or smell stripper perfume.
    Strip clubs are only expensive if you’re trying to show off.

  16. panda says:

    If you don’t like strip clubs, you’re gay, plain and simple. What’s wrong with spending $5 to get tits shoved in your face? You don’t have to pay for the $20 lap dance unless you’re really horny, and then it’s a simple decision. Man up and hit up some Brad’s Gold Club (club of choice here)

  17. Anonymous says:

    Lol… way to fail at life.

  18. Notsoanoncuzmynameisjoe says:

    Strip clubs are a super waste of time, and completely without reason. For the same amount of money your probably going to have to spend to watch a girl swing around on a pole, and/or give you a lap dance, (and let’s not forget cover charges) well, you could get A HOOKER. Say it with me: “HOOKER.” I think the last time I went to a strip club and had a really good time, I ended up spending somewhere along the lines of 200.00 USD. And, I didn’t even get laid. I think the last time I was with a hooker and had a really good time, it cost me somewhere around 150.00 USD, and that’s just because before we did the deed I asked her, to, guess what? Give me a lap dance beforehand.

    So, the way I see it is :

    1) You can go to a strip club and get fucked out of about two hundred dollars.

    Or.

    2) You can get a hooker and get fucked for about two hundred dollars.

    Case closed. Strip clubs are a waste of money, or at least not the wisest expenditure.

  19. Anonymous says:

    I was a dancer for awhile and my club charged 20$ to get in and at least 30$ for a table dance – not lap dance – that was way more and the girl can charge you however much money she wants to, but she always has a minimum.

    Most all strippers hate all of you!! For real! we talk shit about you when we’re in the dressing room- we either feel sorry for your wives or girlfriends, or else we think that they must be very fat or unattractive – either way, no girl really wants to be there – we are NOT there because we like YOU or because we want to be there because we love being naked or love to dance – either way, WE ARE ONLY THERE TO GET YOUR MONEY!!!! The girls talk sooo much shit about you guys backstage and we only sit down and talk to you in order to get more money and hustle you to buy drinks so the club makes more money!!!

  20. snapple says:

    Once you find a $20 dollar flask, buy a $20 dollar bottle of alcohol, then go out and spend $20 dollars to look at a naked girl, then spend $20 getting a cab ride home. you cant drive because you drank too much because you wanted that girl to look somewhat attractive thus justifying spending $100 to go home an jerk off to your drunken limp dick.

    i believe the kids nowadays say SNAP!

  21. Pierre says:

    win

  22. Anonymous says:

    Naked chicks: awesome

    Hangin with a crowd of dudes with boners: not so much

    I don’t say “hey bro, lets look at this porn magazine together.” Nor do I watch pornos with dudes. So the whole thing is a bit of a sausage factory. You glance to your right and the record scratch sound goes off in your head cause thers yer friend’s face. Bee-boop!

    That being said, a coldy and some titties is pretty righteous. Its the setting that sucks ass so bad.

  23. Penicillin says:

    I wasn’t very into those places before I got married but once you do get married you realize going there occasionally is a lot less expensive than a divorce. Everybody needs some strange bolt-ons in their face now and then.

  24. AC says:

    Poor bastard! You obviously have no game and therefore you ARE wasting your money at a strip club. I’ve found the girls there to have an incredible sense of humor and are a lot of fun to hang out with. And if you’re going there just to get laid then you’ve chosen the wrong place to go. It’s like riding a Harley. If I have to explain it to you then you wouldn’t understand.

    And I’m glad you don’t like going because little girlies like yourself are a nuisance to us men that really do like these women. And the best sex on earth is from a stripper. Of course with no game you’ll never experience this. Shame!

  25. cory says:
    $40? That usually is the cost of the cover alone. Are you going to a strip club in a garbage can?
  26. nate says:

    No, its not that 66.7% are Fags, its just that the ones against Strip Clubs have the time to vote, over and over again, while they’re NOT having titties rubbed on their face. Now, if you’ll exscuse me, I’m going to get some titties rubbed on my face… Junior, stay in the car, here’s a bottle, some crackers, and daddy promises to leave the window cracked a bit.

  27. FU says:

    I cant believe 66.7 % of Taco’s people are FAGS!!!!

    WTF I make the entire night with just 40 bucks

  28. el mojo says:

    The same applies to strip clubs if you have game which apparently you dont…

  29. INS says:

    Strip clubs are cool when you’re 17

    Rather hit up a club where, if you’re not a complete scrub, you get almost any chick you want

  30. Anonymous says:

    Lap dance $70. Get the fat chick drunk $50. you do the math

  31. el mojo says:

    You obviously never had a lap dance. Twenty at most places, and if you have to get a fat chick drunk then you really have problems. I let the fat ones get me drunk and then they might get luck…

  32. FU says:

    I pay forty bucks taking into consideration my gas money for like 4 days, so, 20 bucks cover and 20 bucks for gas, and i take my own Drinks.

  33. el mojo says:

    Hell yeah, and yeee fucking haw, a fellow texan like me. Exactly how I do it. I dont to the topless shit. Tell these boys how we do it.

  34. Tom Araya sez says:

    If I’m paying for any hoe, its to see the c-section scars, bullet wounds and the friggin’ paw prints.

    I thought thats what we all went there for.

    You know, besides the tits, ass and misogynistic atmosphere.

  35. el mojo says:

    I dont mind strip clubs, but I wouldnt pay $40 just to see hot naked women. If your smart you can find the good clubs where cover is $25 and byob and still see hot women with out c-section scars and bullet wounds. Why be a dumbass and pay that much???

  36. alanon says:

    The one I go to charges $20 to get in. Fortunately, this is Texas so since it’s all nude, that also means it’s BYOB, so no over priced drinks (unless you want soda or water, you pussy).

  37. AC says:

    Preach the truth brother! My life is about Harley’s and Strippers. There’s nothing better than these two. Especially at the sam time. And all nude is the only way to go. I’ll do the topless clubs if that’s all that’s available. And I’ll have a great time doing it. Glad to see some others out there that share’s in my opinion.

    And for all of you sissy little pricks that want to complain about the cost, stay home, whine and drink your milk you little mama’s boys. Leave the Strippers and expensive drinks to us men that work and play hard and don’t mind sharing our money with beautiful girls!

  38. Anonymous says:

    ur a fag, admit it

  39. Anonymous says:

    urz cantz spellz admitz itz!

  40. alanon says:

    you people seem to be going to the wrong strip clubs. the only time the girls at the one I go to don’t let you touch them is if the owner is around or if vice is in the house.

  41. el mojo says:

    Or you can go to a regular bar, and with your analogy…. settle for the nastiest beer available…. and have as much as you want……

  42. Anonymous says:

    100% of people that use fake stats are annoying and should never comment ever agian. If more than half of us are fags then stop reading the web site. Go play d and d or wow but get off holy taco.

  43. el mojo says:

    Fake tits boring…. opposed to exciting dancing tities that are real…hmmmm…. and I guess for some reason your unable to grab fake titties…

  44. jax says:

    fake tits are boring and i would rather have real ones that i can grab all night long.

  45. Cheese says:

    Strip Club alternative: Get a bottle of vodka at the grocery/liquor store and just watch porn online

    Get your preference (MILF, Latina, Ebony, Real Tits, etc), and can watch a chick (who’ll be a lot hotter)do pretty much anything

  46. el mojo says:

    You dont get out much do you? I bet you play world of warcraft and have an e-girlfriend.

  47. Buddy Ice says:

    Did you say “Jon Bon’s” … that is the gayest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. Even gayer than their music.

  48. cory says:
    That was supposed to be tongue in cheek, but it doesn’t make sense. I changed it.
  49. Stephen says:

    it’s more like having that beer poured all over your head/face and rubbed against your genitals all the while you’re not allowed to touch or taste it. but yeah I agree.

  50. mudslngr1 says:

    It,s like being real thirsty, going into a bar and paying to have an ice cold frosty mug of beer put in front of you and not even being able to drink it.
    Ya, fun eh?

  51. Anonymous says:

    Best comment ever in a strip club… my buddy was talking to a recently re-boobed chick, who I guess they did the surgery from her back… you know, not to scar the titties…

    “I think I saw her Godzilla suit zipper”

  52. Rev. Dun~Son says:

    i love strip clubs cause i can’t get enough of hysterectomy scars, bullet wounds & paw print tattoos

  53. Anonymous says:

    Did you actually use the word “game” unironically?