If there's one thing we like to do more than drink, it's argue about really important stuff, like what's better: Survivorman, or Man vs. Wild? Here's what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for Survivorman:
Compared to Survivorman, Man vs. Wild is a total pussy. First of all, Survivorman is out there all by himself. He shoots it, produces it, directs it, and writes it. He even plays the harmonica and uses it in the opening title sequence. Let's see prissy Man vs. Wild do that. He has no one to help him out there if he gets stuck in quicksand, or is about to get eaten by a lion. Man vs. Wild parades around like a fairy, relying on gimmicks like eating elephant shit or drinking his own piss for ratings, but then he turns around and makes a Production Assistant fetch him some mouthwash and a soy latte. If Survivorman is going to drink piss, then you know goddamn good and well he has come to the end of his rope, and he's enjoying every last drop of his own golden shower, because he knows it's going to get him through the night. Sure, it might be boring at times, and sometimes you have to put up with him just sitting there and staring into space like a mongoloid, but that's what it's going to be like to survive out there on your own. He just wants you to know that it's not all action and adventure. He's real about it, because he's a real survivalist, unlike that phony Man vs. Wild.
Drunken Argument for Man vs. Wild
Man vs. Wild is a complete badass, and that's all there is to it. We've seen him guy climb a tree using his shoelaces, seek shelter inside of a dead animal carcass, and build forts in 30 minutes that could make a 12-year old with an entire Saturday to spare jealous. People sometimes complain that Man vs. Wild isn't realistic, and that's probably true. That's because Man vs. Wild isn't trying to show you what it's like to survive. He's trying to teach you how to survive. Man vs. Wild will find quicksand, jump into it, and then show you how to crawl out. If Survivorman finds quicksand, he'll be like "here's some quicksand. I'm going to walk around it, so I don't get stuck." Which one of those situations is more entertaining to watch on television? Survivorman is a show about a guy who's trying not to die, and it turns out that watching someone not die is boring as f*ck. An entire episode of Survivorman can consist of that scraggly chubbo eating some ants and then sitting in the shade for the rest of the day, and he'll say something like "Well, I've eaten some ants, and now I'm going to sit in the shade and survive." What the f*ck is exciting and entertaining about that? I'd much rather watch Man vs. Wild kill a f*cking boa constrictor with a rock, gut it, and then wear it through the jungle like a NYC hipster with a trendy scarf. If I'm in the mood to watch someone sit in the shade and eat bugs, I'm not going to turn on the TV. I'm going to drive down to Home Depot and yell at the migrant workers (especially if it's a Thursday afternoon, because that's when they're most desperate). Man vs. Wild may be less realistic, but it's more entertaining and more awesome, and since it's a TV show, that's exactly what it should be. Man vs. Wild FTW.
I'd have to go with man vs wild cause i think the other one doesnt really knows how to survive and is a pussy since he uses his camcorder and stuff to help himself and bear grylls only uses a knife and a perdernal
He uses a camcorder and stuff to help himself!? Ya cause you know carrying around 50lbs of camera equipment when you're alone in the wild is a HUGE advantage...not a burden at all.
Man Vs. Wild is a totally fake show. He stays in hotels and has a production crew pre-build his shit for him...total pussy. Survivor man is a total bad ass!
I have to agree with Survivorman, Bear Grylles is cool, but mostly stupid. it is cool watching him climb up waterfalls and stuff, but most of it is unneeded, and stupid. I once saw him get stung in the forehead by an african bee, then when he was half blind from his eyes being swollen shut, he decided to fight a large snake. Bear shows us how to get out of bad situations, but he doesn't show you how to AVOID it, plus he has his film crew help him when he is in trouble.
Survivorman may be a little boring, but he is smarter, and tougher.
Best drunken argument article ever. Gotta go with my man bear. Gotta respect a man who jumps into a freezing river naked (two separate times) just to show you how to survive.
"Gotta respect a man who jumps into a freezing river naked (two separate times) just to show you how to survive.".... Or just call him an effing idiot for not walking around the river.
this is a common symptom of semen overdose. I am a doctor and i see this all of the time. My advice to you is to take is easy with the cocks you can still suck as many penises as you want but dont swallow the semen no matter what your parents say.
man vs wild is like "imma show you how to survive... unless you are an average guy who cant scale a mountain with your shoelaces" i wanna see a show of the guy who has to climb the mountain AND shoot man vs wild at the same time.
Les Stroud hands down. He is the real deal. Man VS Wild was pulled from the air and reedited with a disclaimer saying how the show is fake and he has the help of a production crew.
Les is out there for a week by himself. Go Youtube Man Vs Wild is fake and watch the clips.
If you were watching Man vs Wild and were like man , its really convenient they had this shot from a plane, or wow that camera holding robot really knows how to get a good shot, then u are a tard. Anyone with a brain would already know that Bear has a crew with him. how the fck else would somebody be filming him jumping into a freezing fuckin river? The thing is its entertaining, and gross, and i think Bear has one of those consumption fetishes, but thats a diff story all together. Its just a better show, deal with it.
BEAR BONES THE SHIT OUT OF THAT OTHER GUY. THAT OTHER GUYS SHOW WAS CANCELED NOW HES DOING SHIT ON NICK FOR KIDS. YEAH HES SUCH A SURVIVOUR THAT HE TEACHES KIDS NOT MEN. PLUS THE STAR OF MAN VS WILDS NAME IS BEAR. HIS NAME IS FUGIN BEAR!!!!!!!!! PWNED OTHER GUY
Les Stroud ended Survivorman because his health was taking a beating from going it alone for a week 23 times. He knows more about survival that most legitimate experts on the subject.
Bottom line:
o Lost and need to survive - Les is the man you want to be your wingman
o Trying to get laid - Bear is your man
Probably the best drunken argument ever. How in gods name could any of you think man vs wild is better then survivorman? It's a fake show vs a completely realistic show. Bear eats animal shit, drinks his own piss, and apparently has a fetish for putting small animals in his mouth. Survivorman pretty much says F*ck You to nature and battles the elements and large animals for 7 days while filming it all himself. Les Stroud wins hands down.
Ok- the real deal-- In order to get the scope of this thing you have to understand the impact of not having a production crew with you. Survivorman has to set up a shot, walk through that shot, and then double back to pick up the freaking camera! Not only is he surviving, he is doing a lot of the stuff two and three times to entertain your lazy ass! True- Bear is a bad mofo- bur Survivorman completely destroys Bear!
Survivor Man all the way. Man vs. wild does random pointless crap that only a retard would get himself into. Try watching the survivor man episode where it is all about how he films each episode(BY HIMSELF) then you will have more respect for him.
Do you realize that every Bear Grylls survival relies on him having a parachute handy, a big ass survial knife, flint, and top of the line outdoor clothing? Not to mention this guy was like a British military version of a green beret. He is supposed to survive - how is it exciting when you know he'll get out of it using his military training and top notch gear? Why do you think he does shit like kill every animal he sees and drinking his own piss? We'd all ge bored otherwise. I'm sorry, even with his gear, I'd die within 5 minutes because I can't even run a mile.
At least with Suvivorman, it looks like there's a good chance he'd really be done for if he had to do something like climb a rock wall or outrun a bear. I watch that show, even though it is pretty uneventful, because there is that element of suspense.
That's what is really is when you're out there in the wilderness: Hours of tedium then 2 minutes of outright balls to the wall terror where you think you're going to die. Painfully.
basically they are both pretty sweet, but les is way more of a man. All the comments for bear can be attributed to the commenters love of brits. Which is cool, especially if you are a huge pussy.
Suivorman wasn't cancealled. Les is taking a few years off. His body needs rest since he pretty much starves himself 1 week a month.
Someone said above Bear gets himself in shit most people wouldn't and its true. He does extreme shit. I love how he gets off the chopper and has to eat somethign right away. Oh look a tutle lets eat it. Oh bear shit lets eat!
Half the animals he finds have been killed by his staff not him. His shelters and camps are built by his staff.
Bear grylls is a badass, even if he stays in hotels and stuff he is still a badass. He takes the worst scenario imaginable in the wild and then shows you how to survive it. True, he may stay in a hotel at night and have safety personel on scene, but does that make him anyless badass. The guys of jackass have safety personel around and 911 is #1 on their speed dial. Maybe they should just change the name of Man vs Wild to BADASS to avoid any confusion. Bear Grylls does badass shit 24/7. Les whatever from survivor man survives all day which is not badass. BEAR GRYLLS FTW.
Staying in hotels while filming a survival show, having others set up your scenes, and save your ass when everything goes pear shaped does not make you a badass. It makes you a pussy!
What the fuck are you talking about! Survivorman also has a team ready to move in if he's in trouble! He just shoots everything to make it look like he is alone! At least Bear Grylls doesn't pretend, and i s honest about having a team with him!
I used to work for OLN (Outdoor Life Network) in Canada (where Survivorman originated) and yeah, Les did have a team ready to save him if he was in a life or death situation. He always had a CB radio and GPS tracker in case. But, he never had to use it. Of course he had a back-up plan. He's a serious badass, but not about to die for a TV show.
Les FTW!
Bear. Hands down. Do you see les doing anything even remotely challenging? other than sitting in one place for a week? If you want to survive, you are eventually going to have to do things outside your comfort level. Nothing les does is outside any average persons comfort level. He basically takes the best case scenario of a bad situation.
And for people that complain about bear having a crew with him...les has either a walkie talkie or sattelite phone with him that he can use any time he needs it. He can have help within 10 minutes no matter where he is...
This is the best episode of L.A. Law I've ever seen.
Although I gotta say, if this debate were an actual court case and I was sitting on the jury, I'd have no idea what to do. Both arguments were phenomenal - full of hard-hitting facts, gratuitous use of the English language, hubris, conviction, and (best of all) passion. Just a marvelous effort by both parties. This one sets the bar for all past and future Drunken Argument Fridays.
Got to vote for Les. He's the real deal, by himself, in some pretty hard to survive places. If it was that easy, we'd all have production crews following us around with donuts, coffee, and dry clothes.
So i guess no one listens to bears intro on how he is a real life solid snake. ex cobra commando or some shit.les is a weak lil turd. they both show you how to stay alive and both have a certain amnt of gear but bear is the shit. before this i never knew what survivor mans name was. that should tell you who wins
(71 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
August 28th, 2009 at 03:11 pm
Haha, I would go with man vs wild after readin this argument.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:12 pm
I'd have to go with man vs wild cause i think the other one doesnt really knows how to survive and is a pussy since he uses his camcorder and stuff to help himself and bear grylls only uses a knife and a perdernal
August 28th, 2009 at 04:00 pm
most retarded comment of the year.
August 28th, 2009 at 04:02 pm
He uses a camcorder and stuff to help himself!? Ya cause you know carrying around 50lbs of camera equipment when you're alone in the wild is a HUGE advantage...not a burden at all.
August 28th, 2009 at 06:06 pm
I second Claynoidial's comment. All in favor say, "Aye."
August 28th, 2009 at 06:38 pm
Aye
August 28th, 2009 at 07:00 pm
Aye
August 28th, 2009 at 07:54 pm
Aye
August 28th, 2009 at 09:35 pm
Aye, friggin retard
August 28th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Aye
August 29th, 2009 at 08:32 am
Aye
August 29th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Aye aye, captain!
August 30th, 2009 at 04:29 am
Aye. You put the MvW side to shame.
September 27th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE
August 28th, 2009 at 03:12 pm
I bet they're both fakes.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:12 pm
Man Vs. Wild is a totally fake show. He stays in hotels and has a production crew pre-build his shit for him...total pussy. Survivor man is a total bad ass!
August 28th, 2009 at 03:12 pm
I have to agree with Survivorman, Bear Grylles is cool, but mostly stupid. it is cool watching him climb up waterfalls and stuff, but most of it is unneeded, and stupid. I once saw him get stung in the forehead by an african bee, then when he was half blind from his eyes being swollen shut, he decided to fight a large snake. Bear shows us how to get out of bad situations, but he doesn't show you how to AVOID it, plus he has his film crew help him when he is in trouble.
Survivorman may be a little boring, but he is smarter, and tougher.
August 28th, 2009 at 05:26 pm
We care
August 28th, 2009 at 03:13 pm
Best drunken argument article ever. Gotta go with my man bear. Gotta respect a man who jumps into a freezing river naked (two separate times) just to show you how to survive.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:21 pm
...and just to swim back to shore to pick up his nice warm blanket, change of clothes and portable heaters. Damn. I love surviving.
August 28th, 2009 at 06:09 pm
"Gotta respect a man who jumps into a freezing river naked (two separate times) just to show you how to survive.".... Or just call him an effing idiot for not walking around the river.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
How do you walk around a river?
August 31st, 2009 at 10:49 am
with your feet
August 28th, 2009 at 03:13 pm
shut the f**k up, man vs wild pwns and survivor man is a big fag
August 28th, 2009 at 04:44 pm
this is a common symptom of semen overdose. I am a doctor and i see this all of the time. My advice to you is to take is easy with the cocks you can still suck as many penises as you want but dont swallow the semen no matter what your parents say.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:28 pm
man vs wild is like "imma show you how to survive... unless you are an average guy who cant scale a mountain with your shoelaces" i wanna see a show of the guy who has to climb the mountain AND shoot man vs wild at the same time.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:39 pm
Les Stroud hands down. He is the real deal. Man VS Wild was pulled from the air and reedited with a disclaimer saying how the show is fake and he has the help of a production crew.
Les is out there for a week by himself. Go Youtube Man Vs Wild is fake and watch the clips.
August 28th, 2009 at 08:50 pm
If you were watching Man vs Wild and were like man , its really convenient they had this shot from a plane, or wow that camera holding robot really knows how to get a good shot, then u are a tard. Anyone with a brain would already know that Bear has a crew with him. how the fck else would somebody be filming him jumping into a freezing fuckin river? The thing is its entertaining, and gross, and i think Bear has one of those consumption fetishes, but thats a diff story all together. Its just a better show, deal with it.
August 28th, 2009 at 03:56 pm
Bear Grylls every day
August 28th, 2009 at 04:01 pm
BEAR BONES THE SHIT OUT OF THAT OTHER GUY. THAT OTHER GUYS SHOW WAS CANCELED NOW HES DOING SHIT ON NICK FOR KIDS. YEAH HES SUCH A SURVIVOUR THAT HE TEACHES KIDS NOT MEN. PLUS THE STAR OF MAN VS WILDS NAME IS BEAR. HIS NAME IS FUGIN BEAR!!!!!!!!! PWNED OTHER GUY
August 28th, 2009 at 04:46 pm
You'll have a better understanding of why survivorman is better once your balls drop.
August 29th, 2009 at 08:40 am
Les Stroud ended Survivorman because his health was taking a beating from going it alone for a week 23 times. He knows more about survival that most legitimate experts on the subject.
Bottom line:
o Lost and need to survive - Les is the man you want to be your wingman
o Trying to get laid - Bear is your man
Oh, and Bear's real name is Ed, dick.
August 28th, 2009 at 04:05 pm
Probably the best drunken argument ever. How in gods name could any of you think man vs wild is better then survivorman? It's a fake show vs a completely realistic show. Bear eats animal shit, drinks his own piss, and apparently has a fetish for putting small animals in his mouth. Survivorman pretty much says F*ck You to nature and battles the elements and large animals for 7 days while filming it all himself. Les Stroud wins hands down.
August 28th, 2009 at 04:06 pm
Ok- the real deal-- In order to get the scope of this thing you have to understand the impact of not having a production crew with you. Survivorman has to set up a shot, walk through that shot, and then double back to pick up the freaking camera! Not only is he surviving, he is doing a lot of the stuff two and three times to entertain your lazy ass! True- Bear is a bad mofo- bur Survivorman completely destroys Bear!
August 28th, 2009 at 04:10 pm
Survivor Man all the way. Man vs. wild does random pointless crap that only a retard would get himself into. Try watching the survivor man episode where it is all about how he films each episode(BY HIMSELF) then you will have more respect for him.
August 28th, 2009 at 04:21 pm
Do you realize that every Bear Grylls survival relies on him having a parachute handy, a big ass survial knife, flint, and top of the line outdoor clothing? Not to mention this guy was like a British military version of a green beret. He is supposed to survive - how is it exciting when you know he'll get out of it using his military training and top notch gear? Why do you think he does shit like kill every animal he sees and drinking his own piss? We'd all ge bored otherwise. I'm sorry, even with his gear, I'd die within 5 minutes because I can't even run a mile.
At least with Suvivorman, it looks like there's a good chance he'd really be done for if he had to do something like climb a rock wall or outrun a bear. I watch that show, even though it is pretty uneventful, because there is that element of suspense.
That's what is really is when you're out there in the wilderness: Hours of tedium then 2 minutes of outright balls to the wall terror where you think you're going to die. Painfully.
August 28th, 2009 at 04:39 pm
I like to eat elephent shit too
August 28th, 2009 at 04:49 pm
basically they are both pretty sweet, but les is way more of a man. All the comments for bear can be attributed to the commenters love of brits. Which is cool, especially if you are a huge pussy.
August 28th, 2009 at 05:02 pm
Suivorman wasn't cancealled. Les is taking a few years off. His body needs rest since he pretty much starves himself 1 week a month.
Someone said above Bear gets himself in shit most people wouldn't and its true. He does extreme shit. I love how he gets off the chopper and has to eat somethign right away. Oh look a tutle lets eat it. Oh bear shit lets eat!
Half the animals he finds have been killed by his staff not him. His shelters and camps are built by his staff.
I'm telling you Youtube man vs wild fake.
August 28th, 2009 at 05:02 pm
Bear grylls is a badass, even if he stays in hotels and stuff he is still a badass. He takes the worst scenario imaginable in the wild and then shows you how to survive it. True, he may stay in a hotel at night and have safety personel on scene, but does that make him anyless badass. The guys of jackass have safety personel around and 911 is #1 on their speed dial. Maybe they should just change the name of Man vs Wild to BADASS to avoid any confusion. Bear Grylls does badass shit 24/7. Les whatever from survivor man survives all day which is not badass. BEAR GRYLLS FTW.
August 28th, 2009 at 06:02 pm
Staying in hotels while filming a survival show, having others set up your scenes, and save your ass when everything goes pear shaped does not make you a badass. It makes you a pussy!
August 28th, 2009 at 06:13 pm
You said "badass" 6 times. You have unlocked the secret. You now own the internets. Congratulations.
August 28th, 2009 at 06:59 pm
What the fuck are you talking about! Survivorman also has a team ready to move in if he's in trouble! He just shoots everything to make it look like he is alone! At least Bear Grylls doesn't pretend, and i s honest about having a team with him!
August 31st, 2009 at 02:50 am
I used to work for OLN (Outdoor Life Network) in Canada (where Survivorman originated) and yeah, Les did have a team ready to save him if he was in a life or death situation. He always had a CB radio and GPS tracker in case. But, he never had to use it. Of course he had a back-up plan. He's a serious badass, but not about to die for a TV show.
Les FTW!
August 28th, 2009 at 07:06 pm
Who could kick who's ass?
Bear would tear survivorman's shit up
August 28th, 2009 at 07:17 pm
oh hell yeah!!!!!!! les is a puss
August 28th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Bear. Hands down. Do you see les doing anything even remotely challenging? other than sitting in one place for a week? If you want to survive, you are eventually going to have to do things outside your comfort level. Nothing les does is outside any average persons comfort level. He basically takes the best case scenario of a bad situation.
And for people that complain about bear having a crew with him...les has either a walkie talkie or sattelite phone with him that he can use any time he needs it. He can have help within 10 minutes no matter where he is...
August 28th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
This is the best episode of L.A. Law I've ever seen.
Although I gotta say, if this debate were an actual court case and I was sitting on the jury, I'd have no idea what to do. Both arguments were phenomenal - full of hard-hitting facts, gratuitous use of the English language, hubris, conviction, and (best of all) passion. Just a marvelous effort by both parties. This one sets the bar for all past and future Drunken Argument Fridays.
Verdict: A well hung jury
August 29th, 2009 at 05:27 am
Got to vote for Les. He's the real deal, by himself, in some pretty hard to survive places. If it was that easy, we'd all have production crews following us around with donuts, coffee, and dry clothes.
August 29th, 2009 at 09:55 am
So i guess no one listens to bears intro on how he is a real life solid snake. ex cobra commando or some shit.les is a weak lil turd. they both show you how to stay alive and both have a certain amnt of gear but bear is the shit. before this i never knew what survivor mans name was. that should tell you who wins
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