If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really important stuff, like what’s better: Survivorman, or Man vs. Wild? Here’s what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for Survivorman:
Compared to Survivorman, Man vs. Wild is a total pussy. First of all, Survivorman is out there all by himself. He shoots it, produces it, directs it, and writes it. He even plays the harmonica and uses it in the opening title sequence. Let’s see prissy Man vs. Wild do that. He has no one to help him out there if he gets stuck in quicksand, or is about to get eaten by a lion. Man vs. Wild parades around like a fairy, relying on gimmicks like eating elephant shit or drinking his own piss for ratings, but then he turns around and makes a Production Assistant fetch him some mouthwash and a soy latte. If Survivorman is going to drink piss, then you know goddamn good and well he has come to the end of his rope, and he’s enjoying every last drop of his own golden shower, because he knows it’s going to get him through the night. Sure, it might be boring at times, and sometimes you have to put up with him just sitting there and staring into space like a mongoloid, but that’s what it’s going to be like to survive out there on your own. He just wants you to know that it’s not all action and adventure. He’s real about it, because he’s a real survivalist, unlike that phony Man vs. Wild.
Drunken Argument for Man vs. Wild
Man vs. Wild is a complete badass, and that’s all there is to it. We’ve seen him guy climb a tree using his shoelaces, seek shelter inside of a dead animal carcass, and build forts in 30 minutes that could make a 12-year old with an entire Saturday to spare jealous. People sometimes complain that Man vs. Wild isn’t realistic, and that’s probably true. That’s because Man vs. Wild isn’t trying to show you what it’s like to survive. He’s trying to teach you how to survive. Man vs. Wild will find quicksand, jump into it, and then show you how to crawl out. If Survivorman finds quicksand, he’ll be like "here’s some quicksand. I’m going to walk around it, so I don’t get stuck." Which one of those situations is more entertaining to watch on television? Survivorman is a show about a guy who’s trying not to die, and it turns out that watching someone not die is boring as f*ck. An entire episode of Survivorman can consist of that scraggly chubbo eating some ants and then sitting in the shade for the rest of the day, and he’ll say something like "Well, I’ve eaten some ants, and now I’m going to sit in the shade and survive." What the f*ck is exciting and entertaining about that? I’d much rather watch Man vs. Wild kill a f*cking boa constrictor with a rock, gut it, and then wear it through the jungle like a NYC hipster with a trendy scarf. If I’m in the mood to watch someone sit in the shade and eat bugs, I’m not going to turn on the TV. I’m going to drive down to Home Depot and yell at the migrant workers (especially if it’s a Thursday afternoon, because that’s when they’re most desperate). Man vs. Wild may be less realistic, but it’s more entertaining and more awesome, and since it’s a TV show, that’s exactly what it should be. Man vs. Wild FTW.
What Do You Think? Survivorman, or Man vs. Wild?
Bear Grylls every day
BEAR BONES THE SHIT OUT OF THAT OTHER GUY. THAT OTHER GUYS SHOW WAS CANCELED NOW HES DOING SHIT ON NICK FOR KIDS. YEAH HES SUCH A SURVIVOUR THAT HE TEACHES KIDS NOT MEN. PLUS THE STAR OF MAN VS WILDS NAME IS BEAR. HIS NAME IS FUGIN BEAR!!!!!!!!! PWNED OTHER GUY
Probably the best drunken argument ever. How in gods name could any of you think man vs wild is better then survivorman? It’s a fake show vs a completely realistic show. Bear eats animal shit, drinks his own piss, and apparently has a fetish for putting small animals in his mouth. Survivorman pretty much says F*ck You to nature and battles the elements and large animals for 7 days while filming it all himself. Les Stroud wins hands down.
Ok- the real deal– In order to get the scope of this thing you have to understand the impact of not having a production crew with you. Survivorman has to set up a shot, walk through that shot, and then double back to pick up the freaking camera! Not only is he surviving, he is doing a lot of the stuff two and three times to entertain your lazy ass! True- Bear is a bad mofo- bur Survivorman completely destroys Bear!
Survivor Man all the way. Man vs. wild does random pointless crap that only a retard would get himself into. Try watching the survivor man episode where it is all about how he films each episode(BY HIMSELF) then you will have more respect for him.
Do you realize that every Bear Grylls survival relies on him having a parachute handy, a big ass survial knife, flint, and top of the line outdoor clothing? Not to mention this guy was like a British military version of a green beret. He is supposed to survive – how is it exciting when you know he’ll get out of it using his military training and top notch gear? Why do you think he does shit like kill every animal he sees and drinking his own piss? We’d all ge bored otherwise. I’m sorry, even with his gear, I’d die within 5 minutes because I can’t even run a mile.
At least with Suvivorman, it looks like there’s a good chance he’d really be done for if he had to do something like climb a rock wall or outrun a bear. I watch that show, even though it is pretty uneventful, because there is that element of suspense.
That’s what is really is when you’re out there in the wilderness: Hours of tedium then 2 minutes of outright balls to the wall terror where you think you’re going to die. Painfully.
I like to eat elephent shit too
You’ll have a better understanding of why survivorman is better once your balls drop.
basically they are both pretty sweet, but les is way more of a man. All the comments for bear can be attributed to the commenters love of brits. Which is cool, especially if you are a huge pussy.
Suivorman wasn’t cancealled. Les is taking a few years off. His body needs rest since he pretty much starves himself 1 week a month.
Someone said above Bear gets himself in shit most people wouldn’t and its true. He does extreme shit. I love how he gets off the chopper and has to eat somethign right away. Oh look a tutle lets eat it. Oh bear shit lets eat!
Half the animals he finds have been killed by his staff not him. His shelters and camps are built by his staff.
I’m telling you Youtube man vs wild fake.
Bear grylls is a badass, even if he stays in hotels and stuff he is still a badass. He takes the worst scenario imaginable in the wild and then shows you how to survive it. True, he may stay in a hotel at night and have safety personel on scene, but does that make him anyless badass. The guys of jackass have safety personel around and 911 is #1 on their speed dial. Maybe they should just change the name of Man vs Wild to BADASS to avoid any confusion. Bear Grylls does badass shit 24/7. Les whatever from survivor man survives all day which is not badass. BEAR GRYLLS FTW.
SURVIVORMAN GODDAMNIT
Staying in hotels while filming a survival show, having others set up your scenes, and save your ass when everything goes pear shaped does not make you a badass. It makes you a pussy!
You said “badass” 6 times. You have unlocked the secret. You now own the internets. Congratulations.
What the fuck are you talking about! Survivorman also has a team ready to move in if he’s in trouble! He just shoots everything to make it look like he is alone! At least Bear Grylls doesn’t pretend, and i s honest about having a team with him!
Who could kick who’s ass?
Bear would tear survivorman’s shit up
oh hell yeah!!!!!!! les is a puss
Bear. Hands down. Do you see les doing anything even remotely challenging? other than sitting in one place for a week? If you want to survive, you are eventually going to have to do things outside your comfort level. Nothing les does is outside any average persons comfort level. He basically takes the best case scenario of a bad situation.
And for people that complain about bear having a crew with him…les has either a walkie talkie or sattelite phone with him that he can use any time he needs it. He can have help within 10 minutes no matter where he is…
This is the best episode of L.A. Law I’ve ever seen.
Although I gotta say, if this debate were an actual court case and I was sitting on the jury, I’d have no idea what to do. Both arguments were phenomenal – full of hard-hitting facts, gratuitous use of the English language, hubris, conviction, and (best of all) passion. Just a marvelous effort by both parties. This one sets the bar for all past and future Drunken Argument Fridays.
Verdict: A well hung jury
Got to vote for Les. He’s the real deal, by himself, in some pretty hard to survive places. If it was that easy, we’d all have production crews following us around with donuts, coffee, and dry clothes.
Les Stroud ended Survivorman because his health was taking a beating from going it alone for a week 23 times. He knows more about survival that most legitimate experts on the subject.
Bottom line:
o Lost and need to survive – Les is the man you want to be your wingman
o Trying to get laid – Bear is your man
Oh, and Bear’s real name is Ed, dick.
So i guess no one listens to bears intro on how he is a real life solid snake. ex cobra commando or some shit.les is a weak lil turd. they both show you how to stay alive and both have a certain amnt of gear but bear is the shit. before this i never knew what survivor mans name was. that should tell you who wins
wtf r u ppl talking about, survivorman totally blows, sure he films it himself but he camps out and sits on his ass for 7 days waiting to b picked up by his crew. surviving isn’t about waiting to be saved by ur crew, its about doing gnarly shit in order to make it out alive. bear grylls all the way
For entertainment purposes; ‘Bear’
For learning the proper way to survive if you get lost; Les
For those of you saying that Les is a ‘pussy’ because he just sits there, that’s how you survive these ordeals. That’s the easiest way to get rescued. As long as someone knows roughly where you are, set up camp, and wait. Don’t run around like an idiot, thinking you’re going to walk your way out of it; you won’t. Unless, you know, you have a good amount of training.
And incidentally, you will never have to scale a waterfall. Follow it downstream, there will be a village or some other settlement eventually.
To reiterate:
Basic survival techniques; Les
Killing morons who have watched too much TV; ‘Bear’
Bear grylls FTW.
Survivorman has failed at surviving on multiple occasions and had to call in for help. He always fails at catching fish and setting traps. He seriously never wins at anything other than sitting around and getting attacked by bugs. Yeah its cool that he does the whole show himself, but if I’m watching an hourlong show I’m watching Bear succeed. He never fails.
Survivorman always sucks and anything he does will also like him fail. every time he fishes or sets traps they never work, he always starves on his show. the only thing hes good at is playing his fucking harmonica for 59 minutes of his hour show.
Between the two, Survivorman is better, but he still takes a lot of unneeded risks. I think the best show out there would be Bushcraft (if you want to learn about what resources you have when you’re in the wild; it’s probably not as entertaining as these two for some people!), by Ray Mears. The guy is amazing.
Also, if Bear Grylls ever starts a fire using a bow-drill on camera, he might get some respect. Otherwise, he should keep doing stupid shit. Oh yeah – make sure to drink your own piss. That won’t dehydrate you at all. Dumbass.
Man vs. Wild
they are both extremely manly men, but bears show is sooo much more interesting. thats the purpose of tv. and he can perform feats most mortals merely dream about
We’re debating apples and oranges, Man vs Wild is trying to be entertaining and demonstrate ways to survive if these challenges were presented to you. while … Survivorman is about what it looks like to survive and how to handle yourself while surviving, its not gimmicky it’s a man surviving in the wild.
I for one believe Man vs Wild is a better show its more entertaining and I haven’t gotten half as much from Survivorman, not that I could do what either of these guys could do, but Bear is clever and actually has ideas while Les just sits there … surviving.
Survivorman all the way, if you wanna learn how to survive watch that. I saw an episode of man vs wild where hes jumpin down a hill and slips and grabs his camera mans hand like a giant pussy.
bear grylls was in the british SAS. a previous commenter compared that with the green berets, but it is more like the navy seals or usmc force reconaissance.
the point is – he has learned to survive anywhere in the world… IN COMBAT CONDITIONS! take the stress of being stranded in the wilderness alone with no gear but what he usually has on him in his shows, then add in an enemy unit chasing him down trying to KILL or CAPTURE him!
which is more entertaining… watching a nutty former special operations warrior doing what he does best, or a giant pussy just sitting around complaining and whining all show long.
remember people; these shows are around first and foremost to entertain, not teach! i would only expect about .001% of the entire world’s population to have the skills and confidence do what bear does every show. just about anyone can be a pussy like les…
I used to work for OLN (Outdoor Life Network) in Canada (where Survivorman originated) and yeah, Les did have a team ready to save him if he was in a life or death situation. He always had a CB radio and GPS tracker in case. But, he never had to use it. Of course he had a back-up plan. He’s a serious badass, but not about to die for a TV show.
Les FTW!
Haha, I would go with man vs wild after readin this argument.
I’d have to go with man vs wild cause i think the other one doesnt really knows how to survive and is a pussy since he uses his camcorder and stuff to help himself and bear grylls only uses a knife and a perdernal
most retarded comment of the year.
He uses a camcorder and stuff to help himself!? Ya cause you know carrying around 50lbs of camera equipment when you’re alone in the wild is a HUGE advantage…not a burden at all.
I second Claynoidial’s comment. All in favor say, “Aye.”
Aye
Aye
Aye
Aye, friggin retard
Aye
Aye
Aye aye, captain!
Aye. You put the MvW side to shame.
AYE AYE AYE AYE AYE
I bet they’re both fakes.
Man Vs. Wild is a totally fake show. He stays in hotels and has a production crew pre-build his shit for him…total pussy. Survivor man is a total bad ass!
I have to agree with Survivorman, Bear Grylles is cool, but mostly stupid. it is cool watching him climb up waterfalls and stuff, but most of it is unneeded, and stupid. I once saw him get stung in the forehead by an african bee, then when he was half blind from his eyes being swollen shut, he decided to fight a large snake. Bear shows us how to get out of bad situations, but he doesn’t show you how to AVOID it, plus he has his film crew help him when he is in trouble.
Survivorman may be a little boring, but he is smarter, and tougher.
We care
Best drunken argument article ever. Gotta go with my man bear. Gotta respect a man who jumps into a freezing river naked (two separate times) just to show you how to survive.
…and just to swim back to shore to pick up his nice warm blanket, change of clothes and portable heaters. Damn. I love surviving.
“Gotta respect a man who jumps into a freezing river naked (two separate times) just to show you how to survive.”…. Or just call him an effing idiot for not walking around the river.
How do you walk around a river?
with your feet
shut the f**k up, man vs wild pwns and survivor man is a big fag
this is a common symptom of semen overdose. I am a doctor and i see this all of the time. My advice to you is to take is easy with the cocks you can still suck as many penises as you want but dont swallow the semen no matter what your parents say.
man vs wild is like “imma show you how to survive… unless you are an average guy who cant scale a mountain with your shoelaces” i wanna see a show of the guy who has to climb the mountain AND shoot man vs wild at the same time.
Les Stroud hands down. He is the real deal. Man VS Wild was pulled from the air and reedited with a disclaimer saying how the show is fake and he has the help of a production crew.
Les is out there for a week by himself. Go Youtube Man Vs Wild is fake and watch the clips.
If you were watching Man vs Wild and were like man , its really convenient they had this shot from a plane, or wow that camera holding robot really knows how to get a good shot, then u are a tard. Anyone with a brain would already know that Bear has a crew with him. how the fck else would somebody be filming him jumping into a freezing fuckin river? The thing is its entertaining, and gross, and i think Bear has one of those consumption fetishes, but thats a diff story all together. Its just a better show, deal with it.
I was always into Survivorman, but after reading your arguments I have to say, I’m very confused right now. Confused and scared.
they are both pretty bad ass, but Survivorman is definitely the winner as far as surviving is concerned. it’s lame to see you people need to see someone doing stupid things like jumping in a river butt ass naked just to make a show entertaining. sure Survivorman can be boring but it sounds like some of you haven’t even watched the show, saying he sits in one place for a week is dumb…as hell…if you’ve ever seen the show he traverses the land of where ever he happens to be in a realistic fashion, IE, not every trap you set or attempt at fishing you take is going to result in food. have you ever gone fishing with the right gear and not caught shit, or set up a trap and never had anything get caught in it? if you all weren’t such keyboard pussies and actually left the comfort of your desk you would realize that surviving takes more than just running through the land eating animals, most animals hide or are not there when you need them…unless of course your production crew finds them scouts the area while you are busy sipping lattes from the comfort of your hotel. SURVIVORMAN is a more accurate portrayal of SURVIVING, not as entertaining, but that’s REALITY, not fucking TV BITCHES!!!!!!
man Vs wild
bear grylls is the real deal and tbh i would rather know how to survive than just watching someone survive
Have to admit always thought SurvivorMan pwned man vs wild, but this argument does have some points
brings them closer to together, but doing all that shit on ur own means survivorman takes the cake..or piss…whatever
survivorman ftw…how bout that video of bear walking over the “volcano” shit…with the video of the tourist and he walks like 2 more feet and its all open land…and then in the distance theres a fucking highway
Bear Grylls vs Les Stroud…
Who gives a shit? Turn the channel to Skin-a-Max and see if Briana Banks survives being poned by 20 different big dicked MFers.
But if you gotta argue this out…
Les Stroud – Bores the shit out of me. Watched one episode where he sat on a island inside a grounded boat, his crew hooked him up with, for a friggin’ week. I did learn how to make a sligshot by tearing up the scuba gear I landed on the island with. Of course, he might have been better off using that gear to actually catch some of the f’in fish he never could spear while walking around in the water carrying a burning tree. Does that dude ever catch a fish?
Bear Grylls – Pretty much figure he could kick my ass. And his show does show me that I should keep my fatass on the couch and stay the hell out of the damn jungle.
Verdict:
Loser: Les Stroud – The shit he does I do while camping on the weekend. Of course I’ve never endured 7 damned days of that shit. So I must be smarter than that dumbass.
Winner: Bear Grylls – The shit he does would kill me the first day. Hell I might not survive the freakin’ landing. Plus if you believe some of the posts here, his ass stays in motels after hoofin it through the jungles all day. So he must be smarter than Les Stroud too. And he ain’t a damned pussy telling me to conserve my strength, cause I ain’t eating, and watch out for hypothermia every couple of minutes. Bear tells you to eat even if it is stuff that the fools on Fear Factor would turn down and that sometimes your ass is gonna be cold so light a fire you dumbass. Oh yeah one more thing, he doesn’t get on my nerves playing a damned harmonica to keep himself from crying either.
And if you don’t agree with me you’re wrong.
I must say, i’m a fan of both. Les is more of the average Joe outdoorsman, and Bear is the ex soldier. Both show completely different styles of survival. One is more methodical, almost like an older perspective, while the other is balls to the wall, run and gun like a younger mentality. one stays away from the bad stuff(self preservation) while the other shows how to get out of it in case you dont pay attention or dont know what you’re doing, like most people. both are helpful, or atleast relative.
hmmm Les stroud is real but boring right… well he has three show airing on tv while bear is losing credit cause he doesn’t do what that dumb ass does, he loses face with many fans cause he is fakeish( does stuff that doesn’t happen unless you are an idiot). bear is stunts, les is real. what ever you like go for it
Evening all. Les is the champ. He does have a cell phone he can use in case of an emergency however it’s pretty unlikely it’s going to help when a grizzly decides to have a snack or a poisonous snake mistakes him for dinner.
I’m not sure how many of Survivorman shows some of you have watched but he rarely just sits on his butt for a week. He’s usually marching out of the middle of nowhere to his pickup point.
I also suspect that in a REAL survivor test that after a couple of weeks that Les would be walking out and Bear’s hotel clerk would have to go in to find his bleached bones. Try to remember that only a small part of Bear’s military training focused on bare bones survival whereas Les does this for a living (he not only has a show but also runs a bush survival school).
Cheers for the evening gentlemen.
I think there both good but if they fought to the death bear ‘man vs wild’ would win. so there bitches and ozzinator for life
You seem to think some shows on discovery are real i can tell you thats fake right there .
I work for discovery and we script all shows even occ is scripted .
We write in certain parts to keep it interesting . Just the way it is .
Get over your self .
It’s true that man vs wild can be just a set up and that he does lots of innecesary things. But he teaches us lots of things and he puts his life in danger in every moment. So, it’s very entertaining and it has lots of fans.
It doesn’t happen the same with survivorman. It’s more boring because he really does everything we see but it isn’t so interesting.
In conclusion, I prefer man vs wild, that gets its goal, that is entertaining people.
I am with man vs wild because he teaches people how to survive in difficult situacions,unlike survivorman,who is stupid because he only puts his life in risk.
Furthermore man vs wild teaches a lot of things about nature, which are very useful to pass biology exams.
MAN VS WILD YOU´LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!