If there’s one thing we like to do more than
drink, it’s
argue about really important stuff, like if you’d rather spend Christmas with the cast of
Jersey Shore, or with Insane Clown Posse. Here’s what it sounds like when we do both at the same time:
Drunken Argument for Insane Clown Posse:
I’d rather spend my entire Christmas vacation giving Insane Clown Posse rectal exams than spend one second with the cast of Jersey Shore. Inviting ICP over for Christmas is a risky move, because you’re going to have to be prepared for the onslaught of juggalos and juggalettes that follow them everywhere they go, but as long as you keep your fridge stocked with Faygo and make sure you have a few Wrestlemania DVD’s playing at all times, you should be able to manage them. Guidos and Guidettes are unmanagable to begin with, and the cast of Jersey Shore is the most unmanagable bunch of them all. They don’t live by the same group mentality as the Juggalos do. Juggalos are typically fat, poor outcasts who are just looking for a place to fit in. They’re easy to deal with because they have incredibly low self-esteem. Every person on the cast of Jersey Shore is going to roll into your house with about 15 other douchebags each, and every one of them will be exponentially douchier than the last. That means you’re going to have roughly 90 juiced up, horny, drunk guidos and guidettes in your living room f*cking each other and talking shit. If you don’t have the foresight to cover everything in your house with plastic, you’re going to have a living room covered with semen, grease, hair gel, and blood from the subsequent fights that follow each sloppy hook up. ICP wins this round for the simple fact that juggalos and juggalettes are too fat and ugly to have sex on your stuff.
Drunken Argument for The Cast of Jersey Shore:
I would much rather spend my Christmas with a bunch of Downs’ Syndrome-stricken Italian douchebags than with a gang of psychopathic homo clown rappers. Let’s start with the most basic argument: The Jersey Shore cast is so Christmas 2009. Insane Clown Posse was maybe popular for one christmas in 1997. I don’t even know if those dudes are alive anymore to be honest, but what I do know is that everyone from Jersey Shore is alive, and one of those bitches is gonna get punched in the f*ckin’ face at my Christmas dinner. You have to anticipate that, just like ICP is sure to bring an army of Juggalos with them, the Jersey Shore cast is gonna bring a bunch of douchy guido tagalongs to Christmas dinner, but that’s okay. I can deal with that. I’ts a lot easier to participate in a Christmas dinner conversation about abs and tanning than it is to contribute to one about snorting Drano and burning clown smiles onto your kid’s face with a bent wire hanger and a stove burner, which is what you’re gonna get with ICP. The other advantage that the Jersey Shore kids bring with them is their incredibly low tolerance of really hard, really dangerous drugs. Sure, I’d have to sit through their brainless, gel-saturated, narcissistic, piece of shit attitudes for the duration of the meal, but as long as I lace the Christmas ham with a healthy portion of horse tranquelizers, those pussy-ass bitches will black out like window tint before they’ve even gotten to their sweet potatoes. They may have a tolerance for "vokka", but when it comes to ketamine hydrochloride, they ain’t got shit. It’s different with a bunch of painted up juggalos running around your house. Not only do they have a high tolerance for every drug and household cleaning product you can scrape together, but they’re already cracked out when they show up, and they will freebase Windex in your living room. How can you defeat someone who will freebase Windex?! I’d take a bunch of ignorant Italian dickheads over a horde of antiquated circus rappers any day.
What Do You Think? Would You Rather Spend Christmas with ICP or Jersey Shore?
I’d rather all the Bennys go home.
It would be sweet to have jersey shore to come over any day, or better yet, for me to go over there. its so sweet. ICP are a bunch of old men in clown masks singing shitty music.
it really comes down to would you rather be an italian juiced up tanned douche or a fat loner? while both suck, i think the better choice is clear.
whats the cost of bein an italian douche? your hated by many, steroids cost alot, and the possible skin cancer from tanning.
cost of being a fat loner? you have to listen to icp.
italian douche wins.
Thanks for making it a drunken argument again. Stop by the office to pick up your balls and badges, you’re back on the team.
the Jersey Shore cast. because while they’re in the middle of their typical douchebag New Jersey guido bullshit I can run out for a pack of smokes, get a friend to call in an airstrike on my house, and then collect the insurance money on the house. God bless us, every one!
If you like drugs, sex, and blackout drinking sessions, check out FrankTheBum.com.
NY and North Jersey.
Fall into a bucket of AIDS and die
Although I never liked ICP a lot, they have a couple decent songs. So even though they do dress up in gay makeup I have to pick them. I have seen one jersey shore show and its way too fucking gay. Honestly bro, bro? brooooooooo. Thats all I hear. By a bunch of fuckin pussies, I would end up killing 3 or 4 of them if I was drunk with them. And thats just counting the loud annoying bitches. Let alone the loser guys. Bro? Plus ICP most likely has great buds and knows how to bring over skanky bitches who wont talk much, while Italian chicks wont shut their mouths long enough for me to ram my cock in their mouths. Choice is obvious.
It all comes down to this. 1 of the jersey girls will probably pop out a tit and that tit will be better then the tits that the ICP fan with the tank top lets slip out the side during desert.
but isn’t ICP a joke band like Weird Al Yankovitz anyway?
i can’t stand both… jersey shore is typical garbage that MTV made and is just north jersey and if you know these douches in jersey like i do you know in 10 years the guys will be working at pep boys doing oil changes and the chicks will be 50lbs heavier and knocked up by the guy who changes the oil at pep boys and ICP is as talented as a tickle me elmo with as much enjoyment only difference is you can tolerate elmo for more then 5 minutes without looking for an easy way out
so there’s my answer
lock them both in a shed until one group survives then call the cops and explain the scene
Fuckin’ magnets! How do they work? ’nuff said, it’s the JS crew by a soon to be cancerous nose.
let them spend Christmas together, tape it and make a reality show out of it, get rich and then pay ten people to go see Tucker Max’s movie, so that his earnings double and he stops crying like the little pussy ass bitch that he is.
I just came to dinner to fuck their women.
i’d spend time with the entire cast of jersey shore cuz then you can give them some drugs or get them drunk and have them pass out
You pussies…you caved to the whiners who post on here!!!
shut your fucking face douche bag. Kudos to taco for actually realizing its much better as “drunken” argument and changing it for the readers. Fuck you dave you fat piece of shit
Because listening to your readers once in a while is a bad thing.
Not sure when you guys changed the name back to drunken argument friday, I haven’t been checking the site as regularly lately, but it is appreciated. Maybe the lowly internet commenter’s opinion does count every once in a while. That said, I’d definitely rather hang out with the Jersey Shore cast. I might have to wear condoms on my hands, feet, and of course like 7 on my junk, but it’d sure be a lot more entertaining than a bunch of retarded Detroit trailer trash 40-year-olds in clown makeup. Plus, I know that Snookie has a steel jaw, so if I ever got bored I could just belt her across the face.
You sir, ar4e a winner in my book.
ICP. Huge fan, and they are still around.
The army of juggalo’s isn’t likely to follow them to your house.
Twizitd said it best once “unknown enough to go to the mall without being recognized, big enough to buy any thing in the store”
Wow, that made me dumber.
ICP? Big fan? Dude check your life. That shits cool when your 13 and trying cigarettesfro the first time. ICP said it best when they said “I dont understand this phenomenon, been fucking these hoe’s that looklike splahlahlahmahn!”
Fagets.
Joizy Shoh. Huge fan, and they are still around.
The army of guidos isn’t likely to follow them to your house.
Ronnie said it best once “who’s going to say anything when you look like Rambo with your shirt off?”
icp sucks. always has, always will. Especially with their incredibly lame “mythology” which turned out to be Christianity in disguise. good job guys, you are so outcast and misunderstood.
twiztid sucks too. that quote is almost as lame as being a sucky rapper and wearing clown makeup.
good job on changing the name back to drunken argument friday. now why dont you think of some arguments that are actually entertaining?
Guido win to the max. I enjoyed the funniness of your typing.
ICP has better weed
Winner!