For the last five days or so, there’s been a TV pilot shooting in the lobby of where our offices are. I never asked anyone what it was about, because the first day of shooting someone said “James Vanderbeek is in it,” then didn’t immediately follow that statement with “and he’s partnered with a bear,” which is the only way I’d give a shit about a James Vanderbeek show.
But then yesterday, we were in the elevator with what was clearly a producer of the show, and my friend who sits behind me at work goes “Hey, what’s this show about.” And the producer guy looks at him and goes “Well. It’s a show about a sports agent, played by Mr. James Vanderbeek, who’s a big time womanizer. Then one day a witch casts a spell on him and he wakes up… and he’s a woman.”
And that was it. Not, “and he wakes up… and he’s a woman” followed by him staring at me seriously for five seconds and then bursting into laughter and throwing some playful punches at my arm and going “I’m just fuggin kidding you MAN! It’s not about that at all! What am I retarded? Turns him into a woman? Hahaha!”
Dude, there were easily hundreds of thousands of dollars sunk into this pilot. I know because every time I went to take a shit they had a guy standing in front of the shitter, just, watching the shitter. If you’re a producer, you don’t look through your budget and say “we should just get some dude to watch the shitter all day” unless you have a sizeable budget. So, if it has a big budget, for this thing to get made, a bunch of people had to hear the pitch, then be like “we need to make this.” Meaning the pitch probably went like this:
WRITER: A sports agent who’s a big time womanizer…
STUDIO EXEC: (fingers pursed to lips, thinking) Okay, okay.
WRITER: Who gets a spell cast on him and one day wakes up, are you ready for this, and finds that he’s a woman.
STUDIO EXEC: Holy shit, I did NOT see that coming. I thought you were gonna say he got a spell cast on him and then he died or something, but turned into a woman? And he WAS a womanizer?! Oh, the conflict! Just, I mean, get the fuck out of my office right now and start making this show, man!
So, me and a couple of guys here at the Taco decided to write our own script and are currently looking for a producer. Here’s a page from the first scene.
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
WTF?????!!!!!
NO BEAR?!!! F***ING bait and switch.
The James Van Der Beek Pilot is called Eva Adams and it will soon be ordered to series.
“Eva Adams” is based on an Argentinean series called “Lalola.” It centers on a guy — named Adam Evanson, in this case — who comes under a witch’s spell and becomes a woman, who then has to endure all the sexism he formerly dished out.
This gave me the pukegiggles.
After the show airs the real question is would you bang james vanderbeek?
best post in a really long time.
For real though…Bateman’s got his own show?
How am i supposed to masturbate to this?
Some quality taco here! Thanks!!! Laughed like a moron in public.
Wait a second, Who’s gonna play the womanizing sports agent? The bear or Dawson?
I can’t believe it — the fish talks!
Were you serious about the Van Der Beek show?
I seriously have not laughed so hard at something in a year. Amazing post.
hahahha, “desert with no water in it at all”
I have a movie about a zombie cat. Can you tell the producer about it when you get a chance? Thanks