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Dwight K. Shrute Vs. DonkeyXote

This is a video that Holy Taco reader "Dwight K. Shrute" made for us yesterday. Apparently, he has some beef with reader "DonkeyXote", who we suspect is the infamous "Philosopher". This is a total win for Dwight K. Shrute.
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82 Responses to "Dwight K. Shrute Vs. DonkeyXote"

  1. DonkeyXoteâ„¢ says:

    why is everyone impersonating me?

  2. WTF says:

    thanx and i have seen PedoBear’s post on some of the things here i guess he’s like a disciple of DonkeyXote

  3. DonkeyXote says:

    10 minutes?

    I thought you said oyu spent “like 5 minutes” on it…

    Dwight K. Schrute Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 03:04 pm
    Like 5 minutes

    Oh Dwight, you and your rants!

  4. Your Moms Ass says:

    wow.. that took all of 10 minutes to make…

  5. DonkeyPwnte says:

    ‘Nough said.

  6. Your Dad's Penis says:

    And yet the pwnage will last a lifetime…

  7. Phil Jones says:

    This made me Jizz all over my hands. Then i licked it all off as i thought about Donkey and Dwight blowing their loads on my face.

  8. DonkeyXote says:


    Like taking performance enhancements drugs to win the Para-Olympics. Oh yeah, that’s Dwight’s plateau right there!!

  9. Ben Affleck says:


    I gave you the word “deliverance!” You could have at least run off some random tangent about me being a hillbilly who loves to fuck fat guys in the back woods of the Mississippi river. I wouldn’t argue, cause that’s a pretty close comparison to me in reality, but at least it would have been somewhat relevant.

  10. Ben Affleck says:

    You’ll figure it out WTF. One day you’ll make a comment on something and it will be flamed in some wildly irrelevant, unsubstantiated way and you’ll have no choice but to burn back.
    There’s really only one person on here that douches up the place, but that one person posts as many names and will prove the nuisance they are in due time.

    I have to say this though – I think a good forum site might actually pay someone like DonkeyXote to post like this. Create the wars. It’s the reason some people come back often. It’s not a bad marketing strategy. Everyone wants to get the last word, so they will keep coming back, extending the “visits” and daily hits. Ad revenues go up, people are entertained, etc.

    He’s a pain in the ass, but his flame wars are often a disappointment for observation. You won’t be offended by the content, just the persistence.

  11. DonkeyXote's Corner says:

    DAMN IT!!

    (throws in the towell)

    It’s over Donkey.

    You lost.

  12. Tiger Woods says:

    I hate to state the obvious, but like the disembodied voice from Mortal Kombat would say:


    Dwight K. Schrute FTW!

  13. Meh! says:

    Anybody with enough time to waste on Philosopher should at least have some time to put him down with a little more finesse. If you rise to the challenge of a retarded kid, that sort of makes you retarded too…

  14. rhanebrennalynn says:


    That was some of the most artful pwnage I’ve ever witnessed.

  15. DonkeyXote's Pride says:

    As I’ve stated before multiple times…I AM OUTA HERE!

  16. yur mom says:

    wow.. I could have gone my whole life and NOT known what a Mexican Bible Study was – and I would have been normal…, but here I am… scarred permanently.

    Damn you, Urban Dictionary… damn you.

  17. Shaquille O'Neal says:


    Tell me how Dwight’s ass tastes,
    Tell me how his ass tastes,
    Tell me how his ass tastes!

  18. Jim Rome says:

    Damn bro, Anderson Varejao getting posterized by Dwayne Wade is embarassed for you DonkeyXote!

  19. DonkeyXote says:

    $100 says Dwight K. Schrute is really proud of himself right now; he’s FINALLY managed to provide some evidence that he’s at the top of his game!! and to think his little creation *almost* went by unnoticed! It just goes to show you boys and girls to never give up on your dreams.

    Makes one wonder how much pussy and partying he must have given up to create this hilarious motion picture.


  20. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    Like 5 minutes, but as Shaquille O’Neal already asked:

    Tell me how my ass tastes,
    Tell me how my ass tastes,
    uhhh, Donkey
    Tell me how my ass tastes!

  21. DonkeyXote says:

    Sounds like Nerff and Dwighters got a few things in common…

    “Ama gonna make a vidaeo tah express mayself und muh feelins on da interwibs, be da naxt numa-numa, yo”

    Besides, ever heard of sending an ACTUAL gift by post, you geeky little shit?

  22. DonkeyXote says:

    Let’s be realistic here kid; would you really admit spending hours, maybe days on your little motion picture? Yesterday you appeared somewhat desperate to get Justin & Johnny to publish your so called “5 minute brilliance” on HT.

    Let us recap:

    Dwight K. Shrute Says:
    March 25th, 2010 at 03:21 pm

    If you’re talking about the video I posted some minutes ago, click on the title “DonkeyXote” and it should show in the box under the url.

    2½ hours later…

    Dwight K. Schrute Says:
    March 25th, 2010 at 05:58 pm

    Hey Justin, if you guys are gonna use it, could you guys use the discription for the title?

    Almost 2 hours later…

    Dwight K. Schrute Says:
    March 25th, 2010 at 07:44 pm

    I don’t give a shit if Justin and Johnny post the video, if they do, cool, if not whatever. I don’t live my life to get approval from the people on HT, unlike you philosopher.

    I rest my case!

  23. Stink says:

    This guy Dwight K. Schrute sounds like the type of guy that keeps a list of his highschool bullies in order to make them pay for all the suffering he went through childhood and adolescence. One thing’s for sure, DonkeyXote has now been crossed off his list.


  24. Bucket Headed Monkey says:


  25. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    Oh, I am seeng desperation there, you desperate to regain even a shred of dignity.

    I won loser, give it up.

  26. Phil Jones says:

    Man did Donkey ever get the deepest ass drilling Pnwnage EVARR! Say Hi to the Hermaphrodite for me! I got a boner now!

  27. Anonynony says:

    I don’t have a clue who DonkeyXote or Philosopher are but damn dude…P W N E D. Now that that’s settled, stop crying about it and leave. Why continue to stay in a community that HATES you? Unless you’re some weird perverted type of masochist…

  28. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    Sounds like you know how to show a gay guy a good time, call me!

  29. nerd says:

    Wow, somebody has some pent up aggression. You really cared enough to watch the other videos I have posted? Some of us have to send our parents their gifts because they live across country and we don’t live in their basement. No one loves you either because you’re a whiny bitch. Go cry yourself to sleep.

  30. Ricky Bobby says:

    Did that just happen? Shake n bake! And oh yeah, pwnd

  31. nerd says:

    And for a queer, you’re not very good at sucking dick. You keep working at that though.

  32. DonkeyXote's mom says:

    my son is gay and i’m proud of him

  33. Random Guy says:

    wierd perverted type of masochist is just one of the many descriptions that Donkey answers to.

  34. MyFightWiffaCheeto says:


  35. DonkeyXote is the new Philosopher says:

    Fuckin knew it!

  36. SUCKMYCOK says:


  37. WTF says:

    OMFG that’s a major burn donkey just got OWNED. anyway why does everyone hate DonkeyXote? im new to holy taco so i don’t know

  38. Anonynony says:

    I should have known! Just looked it up, weird perverted type of masochist is the definition of both Philsopher and DonkeyXote! D’oh! ( I don’t even know you but I already don’t like you! Does that happen a lot?) Can someone find a picture of this kid so we can make it official?

  39. Greg Gutfeld says:

    xtra normal + lotion someone likes the show red eye and basically plagiarizes it.

  40. SirMixNoMore says:

    Unless donkey retaliates he should just STFU and take it like his dad taught him every night.

  41. DonkeyXote says:

    FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRST, learn how to spell you stupid fuck!

    Maybe you’re just too eager and desperate to prove how much of a winner you are.


  42. nerd says:

    Gawd, who gives a shit? Both of these idiots should do the world a favor and just kill themselves. My xtranormal video was much funnier anyways.

  43. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    For a nerd your not very good spelling God.


  44. The guy who said he would never post...but gave in says:

    Ha, DonkeyXote is the real winner here. Anyone can make a video saying things that have been said a thousand times. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen the word hermaphrodite on here. Hats off to Donkey.

  45. Perry Mason says:

    For someone in their 20′s, you sure are a worthless piece of shit, nerd. Why don’t you go disappoint your parents (yet again) with another lame ass hoax of a gift. A box inside of a box inside of a box? HOW ORIGINAL! Congratulations on being the shame of your entire family.

  46. nerd says:

    That’s exactly what I did numbnuts. Their present was waiting for them when they got home so they didn’t have to worry about shipping it. But it’s cool if you didn’t understand, being “challenged” and all.

  47. The Real World says:

    hahaha! Nice try DonkeyPwnte, but you still lost!

  48. Ben Affleck says:

    That argument didn’t really prove anything. So you outlined the growth that lead to this post. How does that reduce the quality of the message at all?
    So what if the video say what everyone’s been saying? It’s all about deliverance. If nothing were to be repeated, humans would have stopped writing and making movies long ago. It’s all been done, so get over it.
    A little extra effort to get HT to post it like this is clever enough. It’s not a focal point for mockery. It’s not even a weak spot.

    We got the message before. Just now we have a video that tells it too.

    It’s disappointing that the chronology of this effort was the best retort you had. Maybe your inevitable attempt to flame me will be a little better.

  49. Ed says:

    Hats off to Donkey? Why? What the hell did he do other than the to get flamed? I’d have to agree with Mr. Affleck. It was all in the delivery. There is no possible way anybody can look at this and claim Donkey wins…well, unless you’re Donkey, a member of his fucked up family or one of the many men whose dicks he’s sucked.

  50. That One Guy says:

    Because DonkeyXote is an idiot who claims he is better than everyone. He also is suspected of being “philosopher” who was also an idiot that was supposedly driven off of HT months ago, only to comeback as “DonkeyXote”. He also has a bad habit of copying peoples names and claming that they’re faggots or have zoophilia etc.

    Now you know why DonkeyPwnte is the most hated person on HT, even more so than PedoBear.

  51. TV's Andy Levy says:

    Fuck yeah. For those of you who don’t know, Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld is a show that comes on at 3 am Est. time and is much better than the Daily Show or the Colbert Report. Also to find out more about the show go to dailygut.com or activitypit.com.

  52. tjcafuir says:

    Putting that much effort to get back at DonkeyXote (who I actually enjoy reading) is like taking performance enhancement drugs before the Paraolympics.

    End of the day, you’re still a retard!

  53. DonkeyXote says:

    I do have fans after all!

  54. Joe The Asshole says:


  55. DonkeyXote says:

    HT should award Dwight K. Schrute with t-shirt or something. I mean it looks like he put alot of effort and thought into this hilarious creation just to get his clones and a horde of internet geeks to chuckle quietly.

    What d’ya reckon, Joe?

  56. Random Observer from the outmost ring says:

    Donkey, you got pwned, STFU and deal with it. Justin is the final authority on HT, he says this is a win for Dwight, and quite frankly most of HT does too.

  57. DonkeyXote says:

    Shut the fuck up, Dwight! Don’t you see I’m trying to get you a fucking t-shirt!?!?!?!

  58. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    Dude, I don’t need any t-shir, reading your desperate attempts to regain any scrap of dignity is enough for me, and apparently most people that read HT.

  59. Joe The Asshole says:

    Donkey… accept it you lost be man and walk away with what little dignity you have, don’t be a bitch and SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT PWNED!!!

  60. arthur says:

    why do all the nerdy people at work like lost so much?

  61. Ashley says:

    battle. battle. battle.

  62. Yahweh says:

    How can someone rip their own ass open? You speak with the confidence of a man with experience. Do enlighten me.

    No, i’m not DonkeyXote. I am Yahweh you fucking moron. I tried to tell your mother not to fucking inbreed with her brother, but she just wouldn’t listen. And then you fucking popped out, despite repeated attempts to kill you. Yes, you’re like a little fucking retarded Hercules. With a hunchback and a tiny dick. You’re like Quasimodo and Hercules put together, jerking off to Aladdin and fantasizing about raping Sleeping Beauty. Congratulations by the way, just by being born, you’re the only person who came out stupid enough to already have a permanent space in hell. Fuck you.

    Did I rip it open big enough? My dick still won’t fit, but…

  63. Yahweh says:



  64. Yahweh says:

    Agreed. Probably the stupidest waste of time i’ve seen ever. Why is this even up on the page? Seems to me like HT just got tired of posting shit up, so they just threw this on there to fill space. It isn’t even that great, it’s like talking to a wall and then celebrating because it didn’t talk back. I’ve seen Ann Coulter interviews that are more coherent than this. I’m tired of “funny” shit being posted on here, make it something that will ACTUALLY make me laugh. Or, tits or gtfo. Also, DonkeyXote ripped this dude’s ass open in the comments below, and his only response was that of a grade school fuck up

  65. What says:

    Please. The only ass that DonkeyXote’s ever ripped open is his own.

  66. That One Guy says:

    Is it just me or are tjacfuir and Yahweh really just DonkeyPwnte? I’m just saying.

  67. Anonymussy. says:

    Too fucking funny. Dwight FTW. It’s going to be hard for Donkey to come back from that.

  68. Bill Clinton says:

    No, it’s impossible to come up with something original to top this.


  69. DonkeyXote says:


  70. DonkeyXote's Infected Anal Wart says:


    That was the funniest shit I’ve seen on Holy Taco in YEARS.

    Dwight, you’re awesome. Donkey, you’re a fuckwit.

  71. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    I believe, this is Dwight K. Schrute FTW!!!


  72. Anonymussy. says:

    Congratulations Dwight. Well done. Very funny.

  73. Anonymousy says:

    Why does everyone hate DonkeyXote/Philosopher?

  74. DonkeyXote's Infected Anal Wart says:

    For you to ask that question means that either you’re new around here, or you’re the real DonkeyXote posing as ‘Anonymousy’.

  75. Anonymousy says:

    Sorry I’m new, a friend recommended the site saying it was quite funny. Its just it seems that in every picture in the comments section that is everybody rips the shit out of DonkeyXote.

  76. Ben Affleck says:

    I don’t have speakers and this is funny.

  77. Anonymouss says:

    WIN! Both to Affleck and Dwight

  78. Lou Dodds says:

    ROTFL, now that looks like a lot of fun dude.


  79. so what says:

    is a mexican bible study exactly?

  80. Urban Dictionary says:

    A kinky sex maneuver in which while the male is licking the female’s (or other male’s) anus, she defecates into his mouth. The male then half-way swallows it leaving it partly in his throat. The other member then repositions themselves by laying on their back with knees bent upward. The male then regurgitates the feces back into the other members mouth and places each of his butt cheeks onto each of the respective breasts placing his penis against the entrance of her nose as she masticates on the feces rocking back and forth ejaculating down her nasal canal.

  81. That One Guy says:



  82. yur mom says:

    Dwight’s video = complete WIN! How do you spell Pwnage? Oh, that’s right: P-W-N-A-G-E… Pwnage.