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The End of an Era: No More Prostitutes on Craigslist?!

For a short time, I worked for a once-big-time-but-now-far-behind-the-times Hollywood director who shall remain un-named, but for the sake of this article, let’s just call him…Barry Tucker. 
 
 
The funny thing about Barry was that he would always manage to bring any conversation back to prostitution.  Barry was pretty firm in his belief that prostitution should be legal because, in his words, "it’s a victimless crime, provided nothing goes wrong," and as we all know, nothing ever goes wrong when it comes to prostitution.  The buyer gets sex, the seller gets money, and everyone leaves the seedy, back-alley hotel room happy…most of the time.
 
 
This is why we were shocked to read on CNN.com that craigslist is planning to abolish its Erotic Services section.  The internet has provided us with an elaborate array of awesome things over the past few years, and one of the most awesome things is the ability to, with the wave of a single finger, summon up vast listings of sexual opportunity.  And we’re not just talking about any old run-of-the-mill escapade.  We’re talking about some crazy sh*t that, while not a part of our normal repretoir, could be the perfect ending to a drunken Saturday night.  Take this Erotic Services post, for example:
 

 
I can’t think of anywhere else in the world where I could stumble across such an opportunity.  These chicks just want to hang out. ALL NIGHT. And when I come home wasted on a Saturday night, hanging out all night with two super hot chicks is definitely on my list of "Things that I’d like to be doing right now", right above "watching Commando again" and "eating frozen fish sticks".
 
 
Of course, I understand where Craigslist is coming from.  If I were in their position, I wouldn’t want to be widely regarded as the number one source for local prostitutes.  But I also wouldn’t want to be known as the type of place that a person can find this:
 
 
Yeah. That’s right. Those are worms. And that’s a person offering to deliver the worms to you for $10.  That’s way more gross than a couple of hot chicks who want to hang out.  Of course, some people would argue that this service helps the worm guy too, because he’s got a lot of worms, and he’s got to get rid of them. Anybody who’s been around worms for a while knows that that’s what you do with worms: you get rid of them.  The seller is benefiting from this transaction in ways that are more than monetary.  But then, what about this Erotic Services post?
 
 
This young girl is clearly just incredibly lonely.  I mean, her parents are out of town, and she’s all alone in her room, with nothing but a webcam, a "cllt" peircing, and apparently some very HUGE toys.  I feel like it would be cruel to NOT check in on her, just to make sure that she’s doing alright.
 
The bottom line is this: It doesn’t really matter that you change the name of the "Erotic Services" section on craigslist, or that you monitor images to ensure that they aren’t dirty. Technically, none of the pictures above qualify as a "dirty" picture.  In fact, the dirtiest picture featured here is the worm one (and maybe the Commando/Fish Sticks one, depending on your tastes).  Being that craigslist is, and will continue to be, the most trusted and reliable destination for online classifieds, it’s always going to be a valuable resource for whores, because whores are smart, and they will find a way.  Always.  And that’s just one of the many things that I love about whores.

16 Responses to "The End of an Era: No More Prostitutes on Craigslist?!"

  1. rednekkid says:

    im realy disapointed that craigslist folded on this thought it was a stand up sight . gues there just another bunch of pussys that allow them selfs to be dictated to by the man and and his fucked up since of morrality!!!

  2. Anomynous says:

    im reely disapoyntud that yur parntz drenk fucklodez of antifreze whyle yur mom-hore wuz pregant wif yu. and thet day cudent aphord too sind yew two skewl eevun tho it wuz freee.

  3. Anonymous says:

    craigslist folding under pressure like this is the reason why americans suck and why this country is going backwards.

  4. old and fat says:

    shit… how am i supposed to screw hot 18-19 year old girls now for 120 hh 200 h. outcall.

  5. Hot Dip says:

    Translation: Shit. . .how am I supposed to spread AIDS and Herpes to unsuspecting overweight women with hairy legs and low self esteem?

  6. Howard Finkel says:

    HERE is your winner … G-MAN!!!

  7. g-man says:

    Answer: Unleash Hot Dip!

  8. Anomynous says:

    I ended up just getting ended up losing 7000 brain cells and 60 seconds of my life reading your fucktarded fucking post. Go eat a cock.

  9. Crazy Oldie says:

    dude, 90% of the listings on Craigslist were fake to dupe horny lazy morons who cannot speak a sentence at a local bar…their was a underground site called “Craigs Pimp” where people would get paid to sign up with fake erotic accounts with fake pics and get people to reply to those postings and give emails or sign up for “webcam chat”.

    I tried to hire a stripper once from Craigslist once as a last minute replacement at a bachelor party…fugliest girl I ever met..throw a chicken wing at her when she opened the door and ended up just getting ended up moving the party to a club.
    http://www.crazydribble.com

  10. Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish says:

    Of all the things I would advertise on Craigslist, having HUGE toys is not one of them. Saying you have HUGE toys is basically like standing on the room and screaming out “I have a floppy vagina!”

  11. Anonymous says:

    best comment all day G-man

  12. G says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Anonymouse says:

    I think what they are trying to say is that Noah is missing, presumed dead…

  14. Cooter says:

    I guess we won’t be seeing the adventures of Noah on Craigslist anytime soon then?

  15. Anonymous says:

    If that little piece took you 60 seconds to read, then yeah, those 7000 braincells you lost are of vital importance. Sucks to be you..

  16. G says:

    So, you like fish sticks?