Even Ex-Scientologists Are Douche Bags

I think I’ve figured out the secret to Scientology. They only let the lamest 1% of the population into their cult because ex-members—people who have denounced this wacky gang—can’t speak out against it without sounding like totally lame shitheads. This guy is named Jason Beghe and apparently he’s the first “actor” to speak out against Scientology. (I put “actor” in “quotes” because he’s had bit parts in Veonica Mars, Chicago Hope, Picket Fences and G.I. Jane.) But listening to this guy talk about wacky Scientology crap is almost worse than hearing Tom Cruise’s fake maniacal laughter. The clear? OT8? Theta traps? No one knows what the hell you’re talking about, dude. Now run along. I think Numb3rs needs someone to play “Background Person #3.”

My favorite quote from this video is: “I have the luxury of having gotten into Scientology, and, after having been in it, been out. And that’s a persepctive that those people who are in and are not out, do not have.”

Thanks a lot, Johnny Obvious. If you really want to blow our minds, why not tell us Tom Cruise is straight.