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Facebook’s Eerie Parrot Subculture

This article will make no sense.  I will not explain to you how I happened upon the information I’m about to share because it is not relevant.  All you need to know is that it is true and verifiable and ridiculous.  Facebook is full of parrots.

Do a people search on Facebook for the word parrot.   You’ll find dozens upon dozens of parrots that have human names and parrot avatars.  Dozens.  Let’s pick the first one – Chuckie Parrot.  And then overlook the fact that we have 2 mutual friends.


Chuckie here has a stunning 3500 friends.  That’s a lot for a bird, but some birds sounds smarter than a lot of people, so it seems semi-plausible.  Let’s click on his friends!


What is that, 4 birds?  Huh.  Scroll down.


Literally hundreds of this guy’s friends are birds.  Hundreds and hundreds of birds.  But why?

Click on their friends and you get the same thing.  Hundreds and hundreds of parrots.  And, in some cases, black and white glamor shot chicks and, right at the bottom there, the unholy spawn of the biker and the cowboy from the Village People.



So maybe it’s just a lot of bird fans that use their birds as avatars.  That could be it.  Except this starts to happen.


A friendly bird looking for companionship?  What else ya got?


Is this some kind of roleplay thing?  Is this about sex?  You do it like birds and squawk and beat each other with feathers and dirty talk in Urdu and stuff?

Totally a sex thing.  That’s perverse.

So, to recap, Facebook is harboring a massive subculture of bird perverts who use the social networking site to find others that they can engage in avian wank fantasies with.  Consider it like furries, only with feathers instead.  And we just blew the lid off of it right here.  This is Ground Zero, kids.  Keep your eyes open.

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