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Family’s Easter Egg Hunt Interrupted by Skydiver Falling to His Death

Hey, so how was everybody’s Easter? Did you spend some quality time with family? Did you reflect on the resurrection of Jesus Christ and eat chocolate bunnies and stuff? Did you watch a skydiver plummet to his death in front of you? Because that last thing actually happened to a family in New Jersey, whose Easter egg hunt was ruined by a horrible wingsuit accident. UPI has the details:

The Dye* family of New Jersey had their Easter egg hunt interrupted Sunday when a skydiver fell out of the sky in a fatal accident in Washington Township.

The diver, 49-year-old Arkady Shenker, jumped out of a plane operated by Freefall Adventures Skydiving School. He was wearing a special “wing suit” that may not have worked correctly. According to the school’s website, their divers jump from 13,500 feet.

The Dyes were having their annual hunt when they saw the skydiver having problems.

“I saw the jumpers. Then I noticed one, and he kind of looked like he was conscious. He was just spinning,” Annie Marie Dye told 6ABC.

Shenker fell into a nearby backyard, where witnesses say he appeared to be breathing though unconscious. He was pronounced dead at a local hospital.**

“We seen him coming down. He was going around and around and the chute was here and he was here,” Lamont Dye told NBC 10. “As soon as I seen*** that I knew he was in trouble.”

The Washington Township Police Department, Gloucester County Prosecutor’s Office and FAA are all investigating the accident****.

* Yes, the Easter egg-loving family is named Dye. You can’t make it up, folks.

** Like dead-dead. Not just dead for the weekend.

*** Ugh, this.

**** My theory? Maybe somebody tampered with that guy’s wingsuit. Look back at all the freak accidents and unsolved murders that have taken place on Easter going back 20 years. Now ask yourself — where was this guy?

Of course, the Easter Bunny has some pretty powerful friends, and I’m guessing there’s been a massive cover-up that reaches the highest levels of government and big business. And whenever a wing-suiter dies mysteriously, the general public doesn’t care, because wing-suiters seem like douchebags. But who am I, right? Just some crazy retired detective, drinking Lone Star Beer in my storage room. Justice is whatever the Easter Bunny says it is. Anyway, I’ve said too much already.

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