If you’re like the entire crew of man-child writers at HolyTaco.com, you’re probably eating a bowl of cereal right now. And there’s a real good chance it’s not your first or last bowl of the day. It’s a comfort food that doesn’t require any cooking skills, or the special touch of a matriarchal figure. You pour it in a bowl, then you pour milk over it. Then you eat it. Then the void is temporarily filled. That’s how cereal has worked since Dr. James Caleb Jackson invented it in 1863. As legend has it, Dr. Jackson had the weekend off and his wife was away on a business trip so he decided that he would get super high on saturday morning, watch cartoons and eat breakfast. He had the idea for an easy to make, semi-nutritious edible that Saturday morning, but because he was really high. It took him like another year to follow through. We just made most of that up. But regardless, let’s fast-forward to the present. Specifically, to the fact that breakfast cereals have been advertised on TV using anthropomorphic marshmallows and humanized bees. Here’s five of our favorite old school cereal commercials…
Frosted Lucky Charms! They’re magically reinforcing a negative Irish stereotype!
Be sure to keep a box of Honeycomb in your clubhouse. Because that large bearded man on a motorcycle isn’t a kidnapping pedophile, he’s probably just a hungry Hell’s Angel.
The Trix rabbit can’t even catch a break on vacation. Don’t worry rabbit. It gets better.