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A Flowchart for Dealing With California Earthquakes

Earlier today, the Los Angeles area was ROCKED by a magnitude 3.6 earthquake.  Alright, maybe rocked is pushing it a bit.  For California, a 3.6 is kind of like someone farting at the dinner table.  It won’t stop the meal, but it will make it a little bit unpleasant for awhile.  Anyway, just because today’s earthquake was relatively minor, that doesn’t mean the next one will be.  To help Californians prepare for that inevitable day when the big one strikes, we’ve put together this handy flow chart.  Hope it helps!

17 Responses to "A Flowchart for Dealing With California Earthquakes"

  1. Ha ha sucka says:

    If holytaco had an intelligence they would know that convergent boundary lines actually rise, so California isn’t going to fall into the ocean anytime soon. Maybe they should do a little research before they make themselves look stupid

  2. Fuck Holy Taco says:

    This site has gone to shit lately…bad articles…turning the comments back on…i hope justin chokes on a bag of dicks…

  3. SoCal says:

    Plus, they aren’t THAT bad…

  4. your name says:

    second and worst flowchart ever…

  5. Andy CoughMan says:

    This is not a flowchart.

  6. Are you For Real says:

    I actually piss away at time to read this crap? God this site has gone to Hell.

  7. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    Given all the action my booty sees these days, I can’t afford farting at the table or anywhere else in public as I have lost all retention on my sphincter and it usually leads to me taking a shit right there.

    Y’all might this is funny, but you won’t be laughing when you have to wedge a mattress up your asshole in order to clog it up.

    God, I need to get hold of my pathetic ass!

  8. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    By the way, that Emo boy in the ‘picture of the day’ looks like he could tear me a new asshole.

    GAWD, he’s a cutie!!!!

  9. pratik says:

    Good thing I live in northern California, which is roughly about 10 hours away from the San Andreas fault. Downside: I live less than an hour away from homocentral.

  10. Justin says:

    You live less than an hour away from DonkeyXote?

  11. pratik says:

    No, he lives in a small doghouse behind a gay bar on Sunset Boulevard. He definitely felt the quake as he was practicing his MBS’s.

  12. pratik = Justin says:

    Nice try, faggot!

  13. 00kla the M0k says:

    Yeah. Jayzus Krayst! Thinking that California will fall into the ocean is like thinking we faked the moon landing. It was just a joke? Joking about it is about as witty as making a “Luke, I am your father” joke.

    Do not do flow charts anymore. Kilbourn took 5 questions with him. Let the flowcharts die with Justin.

  14. Jimmy says:

    Don’t tell them to move away. When Cali falls into the ocean, that will be a few million stupid people that Mother Nature just eliminated for us.

    We should send all of the village idiots to join them.

  15. Cali says:

    I love how people think that living in California is dangerous due to earth quakes. When’s the last time an earth quake did significant damage, I mean big damage? Yet every year tornado’s and hurricanes rip through the midwest and people continue to build homes and live in the path of almost guarenteed storms. Earthquakes are a walk in the park.

  16. Bryan G says:

    This isn’t a flow chart. I hate to flame, but I know HT is looking for new criticism and comments from people who dont’s lolz at everything.

    It’s a punch line that applies to coastal california… Shit I’ve lived in California my entire life and felt one single earth-quake. In Oregon.

    A real flow chart would’ve been actually worth it. Like ‘Do You live in SF? Fucking book it!’ as opposed to ‘Are you in the mountains? Pray Mammoth Pools doesn’t fucking erupt any time soon!’ compared to ‘Close to the Nevada Border? VIVA LAS VEGAS BABY! Hookers and Fully-Automatics!’

    See there’s three possible outcomes to a flow-chart about California and it’s fault-line.

    (PS ‘fault line’ to the average Californian city-goer means the time you’re expected to look up nervously and say ‘oh… my bad.’)