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A Flowchart to Determine How You’re Going to Die

Thinking about how you’re going to die is pretty stressful for most of us. Luckily, flowcharts are a good way to organize your thoughts and work through stressful, complex scenarios. That’s exactly why we created this flowchart to help you determine how you’re going to die:

12 Responses to "A Flowchart to Determine How You’re Going to Die"

  1. nigeria says:

    Well, I don’t get wasted… so what? Immortality?

  2. Chicoson says:

    But if you don’t get wasted, what’s the point of immortality?

  3. Mike's Mom says:

    Sorry …my son doesn’t get it. He has been in the basement sniffing my soiled painties instead of attending school.

  4. Hand Banana says:

    What he is saying is that if you say ‘yes’ to ‘bar in tijauana’ then you can follow the flow chart arrows to all 4 different deaths….

  5. mikes says:

    Another flowchart fail- if that bar is in Tijuana you get four separate deaths? Follow the arrows, it doesn’t work, and I can see this even when I’ve been drinking long before dusk. Also, it’s not friday night, but if it were and I was not watching porn as I got wasted, what then? How will I die tomorrow night? This seems like a valid question that you make tepid light of. Is it somehow a cool thing to jerk off on a Friday night while getting drunk, and are we to assume Holy Taco readers are the target audience here, which you say “of course”, this is how you will die? Lame.

  6. justin says:
  7. Chicoson says:

    To the OP,

    Yes, the Tiajuna points to four deaths. This means one of a few things: you will die four times, you will die in one of four ways and it is indeterminable, or you will die in all four ways simultaneously. Of these, the last two seems plausible.

    I’m not sure I understood your words you wrote after the Tiajuna. Yes, if you are reading HT, you will be drinking on a TYPICAL Friday night. If you are drinking alone on a Friday night, you will certainly be watching porn. That’s how the world works.

  8. Bart Sawyer says:

    powerful weak

  9. DonkeyXote says:

    Sauce so weak, it makes weak sauce look weak.

  10. your name says:

    wow i remember when this site was good. and when justin lied to me about emailing me THE FUCKING CAT AVATAR!

  11. Hell says:

    I am dying soon. but not soon enough for you.

  12. Marko Butala says:

    hahaha u got cancer and gonna die.