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A Flowchart to Determine Which Party You Will Vote for In the Next Election

The midterm election is only a few weeks away, and many people claim they are still undecided on how they will vote. These people are filthy liars. Deep down, you all know what you’re going to do, so don’t waste our time. Just take a look at this handy flowchart and see for yourself how predictable you really are.

2010 Mideterm Election Flowchart

44 Responses to "A Flowchart to Determine Which Party You Will Vote for In the Next Election"

  1. Silver Bullet 2 says:

    After reading this, I shall be voting for Barack “Sparky” Hussein Obama on November 3rd…

  2. Joseph Hertzlinger says:

    Who do I vote for if I never even heard of Tavis Smiley or Tyler Perry?

  3. ToddF says:

    Racism is funny, apparently.

  4. This Swedish dude says:

    got Republican

  5. ARnonymous says:

    Got my gun. Don’t fear minorities. Listen to Fox AND NPR. Who is Tavis Smiley? No checks in the mailbox. Voting AGAINST everybody. Make me king. Make more flowcharts!

  6. sothere says:

    Don’t forget all the tea partiers on disability that want the government out of their lives…

  7. wopwopdegho says:

    You sound like a WOP.

  8. wat says:

    pretty good except for the gay thing. why is it homophobic or “in the closet” to dislike a group of people who have huge rates of HIV, STDs, mental illness, suicide, have 100 partners in a life time, have a culture of devious sexual behavior such as lusting to be infected with HIV or infect others with HIV, lusting to be urinated on or have their anus destroyed with large objects, etc.

    its only common sense to disfavor degenerate group of people and id appreciate it if we had a discussion on the facts instead of just calling everyone “homophobic” or whatever.

  9. nameless says:

    First, who is Tavis Smiley? I don’t pretend to like Tyler Perry, and I know he sucks. How do I answer this question? When I went to “no” because that would technically be my answer, it assumed I was saying I didn’t think he sucked.

  10. Anonymous1 says:

    Wow…. Not that this even merits a reply of any sort, but you obviously don’t know any gay people.

  11. KV says:

    Proud liberal gun owner. I support all of the Constitution, not just the parts I like.

  12. Kaytee says:

    So anyone who owns a gun is scared of minorities and/or watches Fox News? Oh… okay…

  13. wess says:

    this sucked, it completely excludes rural democratic america

  14. Checkmasters says:

    It’s funny, but everyone who gets a check in the mail votes Democrat? If not for old folks on social security and pensions, there wouldn’t be a Republican party.

  15. Penis Hero says:

    I found my gun.

  16. Mr Foo Mc Bart says:

    I own guns because I’m afraid of whack-job right-wingers, and, while they *are* a minority, it doesn’t follow that I’d be voting for them.

  17. Super Jack says:

    I did you one better: http://forceofdork.com/humour/which-party-will-you-really-vote-for-flowchart/ – But somehow misspelled Economics…

  18. Super Jack says:

    1. Obama isn’t running – 2. The Election is on November 2nd – 3. Wait, I just helped a two-partier…damn.

  19. Anonymousy says:

    troll’d

  20. Anonymousy says:

    lol this thing is funny ya’ll take shit tooooooooooo seriously.

    @WAT – you’re a psychopath get help.

  21. DracoSolon says:

    That was my problem with the chart too. I am extremely liberal and I own a small derringer. I didn’t want to buy it but I go camping in many isolated places and you simply don’t know who is going to walk up on your campsite so I bought the safest handgun available. You have to manually cock the hammer to fire and it is impossible to make a mistake as to whether it is loaded or not. That is a pretty stupid omission on this chart, but I also agree that equating Faux with NPR is ridiculous. It’s too bad that NPR didn’t use and copyright the phrase “Fair and Balanced” (as that’s what they actually do) before Faux decided to use it as an outright lie for their propaganda machine.

  22. DracoSolon says:

    True Examples!: 1) Keep the government out of Medicare! 2) Unemployment insurance is unconstitutional, except when I lay my wife off from my company so she can collect it. 3) Government is a plague on private enterprise, except when my company gets government contracts. 4) The government should not be involved in health care, except for the large number of my patients who are on medicare. 5) A single payer health care system is an abomination, except when my family goes to Canada to use it.

  23. Troubled says:

    Here’s another GOPsy-moron: Small Government/Big Military.

  24. Jame Gumb says:
    Bingo, eh?….hmmm….
  25. DonkeyXote says:

    If you were gonna bring back any of the oldies, hit us up with BINGO! This flowchart shit was never funny!

  26. Go Buffs says:

    I got trapped! I’m either gay or own guns because of minorities. Who knows..

  27. Jame Gumb says:
    In my case, it’s both!
  28. Primey says:

    Somehow I ended up owning gay guns that invented penis pumps.

  29. Mr. Manly says:

    Stay out of my head HT! Or I will hunt you down like the deer I’ll be killin’ this weekend!!

  30. MoneyMoneyBags says:

    He was fired because of bigotry, not free speech. Here is the test to see if something is bigotry:

    Anytime I see someone wearing ______ garb, ______________.

    a) Muslim / I think they are going to blow up the plane.
    b) Black person / I think they are going to rob me.
    c) Christian / I think they are in the KKK.
    d) Jewish person / I think they will cheat me out of money.

    Please fill in your own identifying factor and see if you are offended.

    PS: Anyone who thinks that the opposite of Fox News is NPR probably thinks the opposite of a Monster Truck is a Hummer.

  31. tickleme says:

    Excuse me? Comparing NPR with Fox ‘News’?
    Really? Yeah, right…..

    So exactly how does, I wonder, NPR spread hate using blonde bimbos and making up lie after lie telling people what to think and FEAR?

    Or were you just being wussy and politically correct
    in your mind?

  32. Jame Gumb says:
    "Or were you just being wussy and politically correct"
    Didn’t NPR just fire a guy for not being politically correct? Maybe I should go work for them?
  33. Luke says:

    “So exactly how does, I wonder, NPR spread hate using blonde bimbos and making up lie after lie telling people what to think and FEAR?”
    This is retorical question right?

  34. wess says:

    npr fired a guy, sort of, because he would say one thing on NPR, then another on fox news. political correctness wasn’t a factor, lying was.

  35. PurplePenquin says:

    You never considered that some folks would vote for a third or fourth party, eh?

    *sigh*

  36. Jame Gumb says:
    Yeah, but for the purposes of this stupid, childish flow chart, I stuck with the 2 largest. Now piss off.
  37. Schumacher says:

    Uhm… More people don’t vote than vote for either the demonrats or repuglicans… Why’s that not an option?

  38. Jame Gumb says:
    Why would a person who is not going to vote use such a flow chart?
  39. Super Jack says:

    The problem with including third parties in even trivial graphics like this is that you help promote them. Why don’t they get any media coverage? Why don’t they get named in polls? Why aren’t they in the debates? Oh yeah, cause they might win.

    Friends don’t let friends vote Democrat-Republican. Green. Libertarian. Constitution. Whig. Peace and Freedom. Progressive. Moderate. Independent! Plenty of options.

  40. Gray says:

    Only one wee problem with this chart: it presupposes a two party system. “Well duh,” you might say, “this is a duopoly! You think a third party has a snowflake’s chance in hell of winning any major election?” Obviously this is more of a social-political statement than anything, and perhaps part of the irony is intended to hint at the oversimplification and predictable patterns voters fall into. In that case, it’s quite successful ;)

  41. midwest dem says:

    I don’t own guns because I am scared of minorities. It’s the Right Wing Nutjobs that scare me.

  42. Patrick says:

    Yeah…didn’t work out for me…told me I’m voting Republican…but I’m mostly voting democrat – minus governor, for which I’m voting Republican…GASP…am I allowed to vote for the best candidate and not necessarily one “party”? Imagine that.

  43. eric:p says:

    hey piss off! Tavis Smiley ROCKS.