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A Flowchart for Lying to Your Girlfriend

Flowcharts are a great way to explain a process, but most of the time they’re used to explain boring things that nobody cares about.  So we decided that we would use a flowchart to explain something useful, like how to lie to your girlfriend.

39 Responses to "A Flowchart for Lying to Your Girlfriend"

  1. Anonymous says:

    look, all you gotta say when she asks where were you? “nowhere”, what were you doing? “nothing” what u mean nothing? ” i mean nothing, y r u so suspicious of me? do i ask u a million questions when u go out?” and then u go upto her give her a kiss and say come on lets go for a walk or lets go eat out somewhere….works like a charm n then u get ass later on, ass before bed is so good!!!

  2. Anonymous says:

    could have been more funnier

    free hugs from japan fail

  3. Anonymous says:

    That’s great!

  4. Anonymous says:

    just when i was thinking “what could possibly make this chart funnier” it hit me-the thought that a deluded bloody feminist saw it and was really offended!!

  5. gootz says:

    “Is your girlfriend wearing something nice? YES/NO…Tell here she looks nice!” lol


  6. Anonymous says:

    uhm, just for any guys who even consider taking this serious, when you come out of nowhere and say we look nice and we know we dont, we know your lying, and this doesnt work. if you bring up sht we did in the past to make us stop asking questions, we know you’re lying. in fact, everything on this chart is exactly the behavior girlfriens look for when they think you might be lying. so this is not a good chart to follow

  7. I think Im going to be sick says:

    I didn’t see take hr in the shower and piss on her leg.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Haha, I’m a girl and I’m laughing at the girls on here getting all pissed off at the chart. It’s a damn joke. Any intelligent man knows better than to follow this chart in real life–unless he’s just asking for it from his girl. It’s just for laughs. Maybe if you knew when to take a joke, you wouldn’t even have to worry about your man lying. Men lie for many reasons–and sometimes–it’s just you. I’m not taking the man’s side don’t get me wrong. I believe in respect and honesty with my bf but damn –Stop blaming it ALL on men.

  9. Anonymous says:

    forgot “hit that dumb bitch” im not sure where it fits on the chart exactly

  10. bright boy says:

    SOOOO TRUE!!!!
    I do think it was meant to be funny because any guy who really knows, knows being honest and admitting your f-up will get you out of trouble a lot quicker. Women just have a natural tallent for lie detection. My mother could just look at me, without my saying a word, and know I did something I wasn’t supposed to.

  11. DESU says:

    Thank God I read this comment. I was just about to follow this flowchart religiously and base several large life decisions based on it.

  12. Anonymous says:

    lol recently launched a hot clip of Free girls fat dance

  13. Everyone Thinks I'm Jewish says:

    And everyone I’ve dated wonders why I don’t trust them…

  14. www.livingwithballs.com says:

    Usually my nights wnd with me masturbating on the couch wheter I’m lying or not.

  15. Anonymous says:

    How to be the perfect girlfriend: With just a few simple tips, you can be the perfect girlfriend – making him want to be the perfect boyfriend. Learn how to do all you need to, to be come the perfect girlfriend and look after your little caveman.


  16. Err...nonymous says:

    Actually if you read most of the comments above (especially the one before someone posted “that’s fucking awful”) you’ll see that some guys are actually diggin’ the flow chart for darker reasons other than it just being humorous & wrong.

    And you aren’t just taking the man’s side… you’re blindly taking the bullet for the wrong men.

    “Men lie for many reasons–and sometimes–it’s just you.”
    har, har, har. Actually I feel bad for you.

  17. [HatesTheHumanRace] says:

    I hope you die. I’m sick of you pathetic pieces of shit that cheat on your “GF”. I literally hope you die in a car wreck tomorrow. [Or sooner.]

  18. JayK says:

    The processes on the flowchart will cover up a many lies, I know from experience. If my ex knew half of what really went down, that crazy broad would’ve killed me. Literally.

  19. Anonymous says:

    That’s fucking awful.

  20. Anonymous says:

    nice work anon ;)

  21. Anonymous says:

    This is just the most ridiculous crap I’ve ever seen. A flow chart for lying. I know in one second when i have been lied to so sorry who ever made this flowchart up, I’m thinking this flow chart is for the young trying to learn. Well little boys you will learn woman do have an natural instinct and sorry to break it too you even if you say one of them most stupid lines, the girl still knows. AND don’t forget about KARMA that is much better than this childish little cart you got going on here, what goes around comes around boys. STUPID.

  22. Anonymous says:

    I had 2 long relationships going on at the same time, while fooling around with some other girls, and what saves you in any argument is having friends that have your back no matter what. Always have a good friend of the opposite sex that your girlfriend doesn’t find her as a threat. and then say that you were with her doing manly stuff cuz she likes manly stuff and that will save you all the time. you can say everything you did just changing who it was with.

    Works like a charm.
    the “I don’t know what you are talking about” always the weak answer.

  23. Anonymous says:

    chill out, bitch. its a joke.

  24. God Himself says:

    lmao Thank You

  25. what a dumb ass above me says:

    ^^^ omfg im first holy crap…. heres your gold star and cookie lil buddy!!!! jesus…

  26. Anonymous says:

    I not only pwned my girlfriend’s best friend, but I pwned my girlfriend in ensuing argument. Thx to “I don’t know what you’re talking about” ™ I will be pwning her for many arguments to come! Thx “A Flowchart for Lying to Your Girlfriend”!!!! ™

  27. Anonymous says:

    My girlfriend even said Powned…

  28. anonymous says:

    100% correct!

  29. Anonymous says:

    ok If a guy have to lie to me, then I don’t need to be with him.


  30. Anonymous says:

    epic flowchart. my girlfriend is totally getting pwned.

  31. Geo2244 says:

    Ive had a girlfriend for 6 years now and I love the word PWND! So yeah, you pretty much just got PWND urself. LOL

  32. Anonymous says:

    Anyone saying “pwned” = no girlfriend.

  33. Anonymous says:


  34. Finally!! says:

    FIIIIIIIIRST, Suckers.

  35. Anonymous says:


  36. Anonymous says:

    Nope, only you i’m afraid

  37. Anonymous says:

    Why is there a picture of gigantic pig balls top left? It’s bigger than the frigging flowchart! Distracting!

  38. roychor says:

    great chart guys!!! i will use this …. she is in for it now

  39. uglysexy says:

    if your girlfriend is inflateable …there’s no need for lying in the
    relationship..c’mon…you guys know that