Fred Durst’s New Sitcom

FADE IN:INT. FRED’S BEDROOM – LATE MORNING

FRED, A TATTOO-COVERED ROCKSTAR, SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT AND LOOKING TEN YEARS BEYOND HIS ACTUAL AGE, LAYS UNDER THE COVERS IN A LARGE BED IN A SPACIOUS ROOM.

THE ROOM CONTAINS INCREDIBLY NICE FURNITURE, AND A LARGE TV. IT’S WELL DECORATED, EXCEPT FOR THE TASTELESS GRAFFITI ART COVERING ALL FOUR WALLS.

FRED ROLLS OUT OF BED WEARING ONLY A PAIR OF GREY CARGO SHORTS. HE SEARCHES THE ROOM FOR SOME CLOTHING.

FRED

(YELLING TO HIS WIFE WHO IS OFF CAMERA)

Yo, Jessica!

JESSICA

What Fred?

JESSICA ENTERS

FRED

You seen my camoflauge cargo shorts anywhere?

JESSICA

I don’t know, Fred. They’re probably where you always put them. In the pocket of the cargo shorts you’ve already got on. Did you check there?

FRED DIGS IN THE LEFT POCKET OF HIS SHORTS AND PULLS OUT A PAIR OF CAMO CARGO SHORTS.

FRED

Alright, that’s great. Now where’s my baseball cap?

JESSICA

Fred, really?

FRED LOOKS AT JESSICA FOR A BEAT.

JESSICA

It’s where you always put it, Fred.

FRED REACHES IN TO THE RIGHT POCKET OF HIS CARGO SHORTS AND PULLS OUT A RED BASEBALL CAP.

FRED

Girl, if I didn’t have you around, you know what I’d do?

JESSICA

What Fred?

FRED

Break stuff!

JESSICA SMILES AT FRED.

JESSICA

Oh, Fred. You’ll always be the king of rap rock in my eyes.

FRED AND JESSICA HUG ONE ANOTHER AND START KISSING.

FRED

Girl as long as I’m with you, it’ll always be the late nineties.

EVERYONE LAUGHS.

FADE TO BLACK.