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George Clooney and Sarah Larson Break Up

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Once when I was at the zoo, I saw a monkey jerk off into his hand, then run up to a group of female monkeys and wipe his DNA on her face, then quickly run away.  The female monkey didn’t flip out, she just calmly wiped it off her face, smelled it, then walked over to the male monkey and raised her butt up so he could have sex with her.  I bring this up for two reasons 1)If you believe in evolution, we’re not that far removed from a time when we humped whatever, whenever and 2)I’m pretty sure George Clooney could pull the EXACT same move the monkey did, right now, and the result would be pretty similar.  And now he may soon get the chance.  People.com reports:

George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson have split up after a year of dating, a source tells PEOPLE.

The pair initially met in Las Vegas nearly four years ago, when Larson, a onetime Fear Factor winner, was a cocktail server at The Whiskey Bar. But it wasn’t until the pair met for the second time in June 2007 in Las Vegas that sparks flew.

I love how everyone thought that he was possibly going to get married to her.  She used to be on Fear Factor and he met her in Vegas.  That’d be like taking a cardboard box and chapstick and tossing them in the oven together and thinking, “I’m pretty sure this is going to end up a chocolate cake.”  Reality shows and casino floors are not ingredients that make a marriage.  Or, at least not without also adding the ingredients “cocaine” and “hooker who has cocaine.”

8 Responses to "George Clooney and Sarah Larson Break Up"

  1. jamesshinobi says:

    f that moron. my friend put a riddaler note in his mail box. (he was batman in a movie)he has a house in new hope near philly. the bastard has a house everywere. im glad he cant make something as simple as a relationship with a girl work. i guess the worlds most sexy man is only sexy to men. george clooney get your shizz together then give me a call. im only 26 and i have what it takes to land a good woman. loser why the hell cant you land even a coctail whore from vagas? pthhh loser!!!

  2. That Guy says:

    Don’t be hating just cuz you jealous of him son we all know you want to suck him off but that no reason to hate.

  3. David says:

    Why is this news? So hes trading in one biatch and hes gonna get hisself a new biatch. BFD. Wouldnt the joke be on US if he turned out to be in the closet? Exactly.

  4. Dom says:

    He was probably doin’ her one night and was like, ” I’m George Clooney, what the fuck am I doing with this whore still? I need to get a new piece of ass, I’m George Clooney. George Clooney.”

  5. JoeJoe says:

    Wow, jameshinobi’s friend put a riddaler (nice spelling dbag) note in Clooney’s mailbox because he was Batman in a movie. How amazingly unique, and funny- not to mention incredibly STUPID and RIDICULOUS. Get a life you putz, you would have a house everywhere (I would pass on Philly) if you had that kind of cash too.

    I love it when some dousch rolls in with “that guy is rich and famous and he can’t even make that work…” Come on, are you kidding me!

    Dude- Clooney can have JUST ABOUT ANY PIECE HE WANTS- he doesn’t have to wait until some skank tipping the scales at 2 bills finally drinks enough long island ice teas to go home with you and make the first of many BAD DECISIONS. Oh wait, you are 26 and have “what it takes to land a good woman”, although your MOM doesn’t count.

    FYI- If you feel like you have to tell people that you can land a GOOD WOMAN, you can’t…give it up. I have never heard Clooney telling people what he can and can’t do- he lets his skills speak for themselves. If you don’t have any skills, then I guess you have to tell people….

  6. Pratik says:

    All I know is that he was in Batman Forever and it was insanely god-awful, due to the combined antics of GC and Joel Schumacher.

    And I don’t know why all women go nuts over this guy. He’s approaching 50 years old. Wouldn’t it be creepy for a chick to be pining over a dude that’s about the same age as her dad?

    Time to pass on the Sexiest Man title to Mark Washlberg or Josh Hartnett or somebody a little younger, don’t you think?

  7. LaRue says:

    They had little in common, or so they say.

  8. Anonymous says:

    maybe THIS time he will actually fucking call me!!