Let's face it, most men are shallow pigs. So, in an effort to illustrate to all the women of the world how the typical male brain works, we give you the job application you're unknowingly filling out on a first date.
Why don't you two ladies get back to work on your feature film you're starring in: Brokeback Mountain 2: The Search for More AIDS. It'll be like a second honeymoon for you two fanny bandits. Bonus: Then you two rump rangers can go down to your local supermarket and buy each other an anniversary present. Maxi pads, super absorbant.
Carrot Top up there appears to act all tough and shit because of his distict lack of soul, intense orange and pasty white skin. Yet he seems to forget that curious resemblence to slinkies, which are not much fun at all except when you push them down the stairs!
Let me buy you a pack of gum and I'll show you how to chew it, jack ass!
Now, DonkeyXote, I think I may have come across a bit harsh earlier, so I just wanted to say how much I'd like for you to go and eat a bag of dicks, you fuckin' dick bag eater.
Yeah, as if girls are any less shallow. Breast size might be dick size, money he makes, or car he drives lol. You're no better, just shallow in a different way.
Todd, You NEED to take a class that has 98% women in there and REALLY find out what their all about!
Observe them like in a science lab class and you will learn a lot!!
Well I am inclined to believe that this app was the work of the male dumb ass gene and not even a hint of intelligence. Hence this app was created by a male. Sorry guy I think the female species is smarter than this. At lease I hope so.
Men NEED to also ask a girl what are her career plans besides living on a Man's paycheck!
Do you have any interests or hobbies that you are pursuing, at this time!
Men NEED to ask if you were me, you would like to date you!
How many Kids do you want and if you would agree to a permanent birth control method.
Men NEED to take a class with 98% women and find out what their REALLY all about and what makes them tick, how they think, what type of person they hang out with in class, who they talk to, who they ignore, how they participate in class listen to their comments, when they speak up and when they don't speak up cuz all of this means something -- there is a method to their madness! EVERYTHING THEY DO -- IS --FOR A REASON, they just don't do something to do it, there is a definite reason. All of these actions are related as to how they act outa class! Oh, and as one guy put it, never, ever drink on the job! You need all your faculties for this one!
... i hate shopping.
and i can be bitchy... but i know guys bitchier than me and i tell them they are being bitchy.
and..
method to madness..
noo..
i don't do everything.. having a reason... that's like having everything planned out... why would you plan your whole day out un purposely.. that doesn't make sense.
w/e.
just saying.
but what i find funny..
is that this application doesn't have a spot for a picture..
i mean really... guys are gonna end up choosing a girl who they beleive sounds hott.. when the only two choices are blonde or exotic.. well say she is a brunette... she'll circle exotic because.. there isn't any other choice.. and we all know brunettes are NOT blondes.. haha.... but say this brunette is ugly as sin...
have fun mister.
and yes girls are shallow.. but not EVERY girl cares about what a guy drives or how much money he has..
some girls like being able to support themselves and i personally would rather have my own good car than have a guy drive me around in his car... i can drive too...
Twitter
January 19th, 2010 at 04:24 pm
Haha
January 20th, 2010 at 11:44 am
A REAL man (is hard to find) = http://bit.ly/14GFZq
January 20th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Disgusting on at least two levels
January 20th, 2010 at 03:53 pm
@Tainting:
Yeah, if you're as fugly as Jocelyn it's pretty hard to find anyone. God damn, get a straightening iron and a dentist!
January 21st, 2010 at 01:15 pm
@Obvious, Capt.: you're such an ignorant!
is it better to look pretty and be stupid than looking not that pretty and be intelligent? loser!
January 21st, 2010 at 01:43 pm
"you're such an ignorant!"
lol
January 21st, 2010 at 01:46 pm
Is this that whole can't fix stupid thing?...cause its cheaper to send a hot chick back to school than to send an ugly chick to a plastic surgeon.
January 25th, 2010 at 01:28 am
you're a pig. and what kind of cheap school are you sending this hot chick where it is cheaper than plastic sergery?
March 19th, 2010 at 06:33 am
why are these women out of the kitchen?
March 19th, 2010 at 07:17 am
So that you'll be forced to starve.
January 19th, 2010 at 04:25 pm
Hahahaha priceless
January 20th, 2010 at 02:12 pm
This is classic. HAHAHA
January 19th, 2010 at 04:34 pm
First name only! Well played, HT... well played.
January 19th, 2010 at 05:07 pm
Another repost?
What's happening to my beloved HT?
January 19th, 2010 at 06:39 pm
this is the stuff you should stick with HT, this is hilarious
January 19th, 2010 at 07:33 pm
one of best posts i've seen. will def print some of these out
January 19th, 2010 at 08:34 pm
repost.......
January 19th, 2010 at 08:40 pm
Too bad that Holy Taco readers will never be able to use such an application.
January 19th, 2010 at 09:10 pm
Way to repost, idiots!
January 19th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Oh FUCK UP MAN! It's worth the re-post for those of us new to this joint.
January 19th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
Why don't you shut the fuck up, DonkeyXote. No one here likes your stupid ass anyway.
January 20th, 2010 at 08:52 am
I like his greasey ass on my face.
January 20th, 2010 at 09:26 am
Why don't you two ladies get back to work on your feature film you're starring in: Brokeback Mountain 2: The Search for More AIDS. It'll be like a second honeymoon for you two fanny bandits. Bonus: Then you two rump rangers can go down to your local supermarket and buy each other an anniversary present. Maxi pads, super absorbant.
January 20th, 2010 at 11:51 am
Yeah . . . way to fuck up that joke by making it way too goddamn long. Kill yourself.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Carrot Top up there appears to act all tough and shit because of his distict lack of soul, intense orange and pasty white skin. Yet he seems to forget that curious resemblence to slinkies, which are not much fun at all except when you push them down the stairs!
Let me buy you a pack of gum and I'll show you how to chew it, jack ass!
January 20th, 2010 at 05:16 pm
It was way more fun reading your guy's comments than the actual post. Keep it going! XD
January 21st, 2010 at 02:22 am
Gingers have souls! Alright?!
Now, DonkeyXote, I think I may have come across a bit harsh earlier, so I just wanted to say how much I'd like for you to go and eat a bag of dicks, you fuckin' dick bag eater.
No one here likes you. Not even Noah the Intern.
January 20th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Currently Printing out so my current Fiance can re apply.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Well, now that's retarded huh? I hope your job doesn't give you an application 5 years into working for them....
January 20th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
this is so sexist and uninformed lol
January 20th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
hi
January 20th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I love you Dwight.
January 20th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Stupid.
January 20th, 2010 at 01:09 pm
they forgot "do you have a previously undisclosed penis?"
January 20th, 2010 at 01:46 pm
No way dude thats like totally insane! Are you kidding me??
RT
www.web-privacy.pl.tc
January 20th, 2010 at 03:20 pm
Yeah, as if girls are any less shallow. Breast size might be dick size, money he makes, or car he drives lol. You're no better, just shallow in a different way.
January 22nd, 2010 at 08:20 am
Todd, You NEED to take a class that has 98% women in there and REALLY find out what their all about!
Observe them like in a science lab class and you will learn a lot!!
January 20th, 2010 at 10:54 pm
All I know is that guys are amazing.
AND.
This application would be convenient.
January 21st, 2010 at 05:49 am
Blonde or Exotic looking. Really? 90% of blondes are ugly.
January 21st, 2010 at 10:48 am
lmao
January 21st, 2010 at 02:27 pm
Well I am inclined to believe that this app was the work of the male dumb ass gene and not even a hint of intelligence. Hence this app was created by a male. Sorry guy I think the female species is smarter than this. At lease I hope so.
:)
January 21st, 2010 at 05:51 pm
"at lease"? It would most likely be best for you to know what you're saying before you try to insult someone's intelligence you stupid bitch.
January 24th, 2010 at 01:43 pm
for someone attempting to insult the intelligence level of someone else, you sure did come off like a dumb ass... just throwing that out there.
work on your grammar, spelling, and work on that breast size, then get back to me.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:45 am
Female species huh?
I take it you're not a biologist...
January 22nd, 2010 at 02:32 am
love the last one - not opposed to anal sex ! haha
March 19th, 2010 at 09:02 am
So on the guys questionaire is the same question, but "with dildo or threesome" added. Not an eye for an eye, but an asshole for an asshole.
January 22nd, 2010 at 08:15 am
Men NEED to also ask a girl what are her career plans besides living on a Man's paycheck!
Do you have any interests or hobbies that you are pursuing, at this time!
Men NEED to ask if you were me, you would like to date you!
How many Kids do you want and if you would agree to a permanent birth control method.
Men NEED to take a class with 98% women and find out what their REALLY all about and what makes them tick, how they think, what type of person they hang out with in class, who they talk to, who they ignore, how they participate in class listen to their comments, when they speak up and when they don't speak up cuz all of this means something -- there is a method to their madness! EVERYTHING THEY DO -- IS --FOR A REASON, they just don't do something to do it, there is a definite reason. All of these actions are related as to how they act outa class! Oh, and as one guy put it, never, ever drink on the job! You need all your faculties for this one!
January 22nd, 2010 at 03:47 pm
Why would I ask her hobbies? That answer is universal: "shopping, bitching, looking hot"
As far as the rest of your pointless comment... who cares?
Method to their madness? The end result of their "madness" is getting dumped.
March 23rd, 2010 at 06:37 pm
... i hate shopping.
and i can be bitchy... but i know guys bitchier than me and i tell them they are being bitchy.
and..
method to madness..
noo..
i don't do everything.. having a reason... that's like having everything planned out... why would you plan your whole day out un purposely.. that doesn't make sense.
w/e.
just saying.
but what i find funny..
is that this application doesn't have a spot for a picture..
i mean really... guys are gonna end up choosing a girl who they beleive sounds hott.. when the only two choices are blonde or exotic.. well say she is a brunette... she'll circle exotic because.. there isn't any other choice.. and we all know brunettes are NOT blondes.. haha.... but say this brunette is ugly as sin...
have fun mister.
and yes girls are shallow.. but not EVERY girl cares about what a guy drives or how much money he has..
some girls like being able to support themselves and i personally would rather have my own good car than have a guy drive me around in his car... i can drive too...
January 22nd, 2010 at 08:27 am
This application wouldn't work, because the majority of men are HOOKED on looks, so the rest doesn't matter.
He doesn't care if she has a mind or not. Like one man put it, "You pay for it".
If men would pay more attention to what's inside of a girl instead of looks, you might end up with a more "genuine" partner.
I'm talking to all you men out there, I strongly advise to take a class that has 98% women and you will learn so so much!!
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