Write a caption for this guy who’s either going to somehow pull off the greatest bike trick ever…or, more likely, is about the snap his spine because he’s trying too hard to show off for those girls and you could win a copy of FIFA Soccer 09 from EA. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified via HolyTaco.
See last week’s winners after the jump:
I’d like to point out that there were a TON of awesome entries this week. Good work, people. Buy yourselves a lolly.
Winner:
JG: Can’t we just try Penicillin first?
Runners Up:
Chris: Don’t ask, don’t tell.
DonnyG: Break time at Club Gitmo
CB: Real men don’t take “salt peter.
Darylo: Right in the private’s privates!
Willz: “Quick Tera Reid is coming!
ladeeda: “So THAT’S how it is in their family” (Editor Note: props for managing to work in a Ferris Buehler reference.)
Smarv: The new re-release of Demi Moore in GI Jane has great deleted scenes .
Mark: Come on Sarge, quit bustin’ my balls.
Jenkins: 1 second abs
“Is this the way to the gym?”
Soccer flip-throw with a bicycle: You’re doing it wro…right?
Nothing good ever comes from trying to impress fatties.
“…and to think, instead of a broken spine, all we are impressed by is his wallet”
If he somehow lands this, he is a GOD!
But my mom thinks I’m cool.
Is it the shoes? It’s GOTTA be the shoes! Do you know do you know do you know?!?!?
opie finally perfects extreme breakdancing
The old handbrake got the best of Frank again…
Well that didn’t go as planned.
in the voice of Stewy from Mad TV “Look What I can do!”
After pulling off what could very well be the greatest stunt in recorded history, Juan was a little embarrased to find out that all three were lesbians.
Fat bitches need love too!
(but not from me)
It’s getting more and more difficult to impress the ladies these days
EDIT post above:
Nothing seems to impress the ladies anymore these days
It’s the final countdown! Dun dun dun dun…
Obama showing off his mad Skillz to the ladies.
“O, so this is what a douche bag looks like”
The girls were more than impressed with Julio’s impression of the stock market.
“Well shit yeh I can defy gravity!”
The best way to get chicks is to work the sympathy angle. “Look at me, I’m retarded.”
SOCCER??? SERIOUSLY?? ECONOMY THAT BAD??
It was at this exact moment that Dave realized none of these girls were worth a broken neck.
Does this white sweater make my ass look big?
Now pay attention ladies, cause I can only do this once!!!
so which one of you ladies wants to do the nasty while i do this badass trick
We’ll take 2 Nike sandwiches please.
All three girls thought at the same time, “I wonder how much money he makes?”
Josh didn’t care. Ramp or no ramp his inverted-superman was bound to impress the beyatches!
“Help me, JeeBus!”
Obama’s quest for the presidency knows no bounds as he courts the break.com viewing audience. When asked for comment, Obama responded, ‘As your next president, this willl be my one and only “FAIL”.’
While he didn’t land the trick, he managed to break his fall using 3 girl’s fat asses.
That’s what happens when you try to bunny hop some bunnies.
…and Johnny’s year-long sex drought continues.
I think the big one is checking out my lats………..
Moutain Bike: 225$
Nike shoes: 35$
Hospital bills: 9000$
Pleasure of knowing 3 women thought you were cool before you bit it: Priceless…
Something are something money can’t buy (common sense). For everything else there’s Mastercard.
^ Edit: There are somethings*
“Ooohhh…so thats what a douchebag is”
Girl: I know we asked what you meant when you said you were going to knock our backs out but…
Moments after the Large Hadron Collider was turned on.
“Look mom, no feet!!!”
“Son, they should just like you for that special person you really are.”
“I meant to do that!”
Loss of testicles in 3…2…
Justin was enjoying the day riding his bike when that damn girl picked up that pepsi bottle again and started drinking
uh dude, i think it goes “look no hands”
This is NOT how to toss off in front of the chicks!
“The chicks dig this.. I swear”
“Mystery from The Pick Up Artist taught me this. It’s called peacockin–oh shit!”
Most popular halloween costume this year: Joker. Least popular: deformed and retarded.
(Seconds Earlier)
Dude 1: Dude, watch me pick up all three of those chicks over there at the same time.
Dude 2: Fine, how?
Dude 1: Watch this…..
I’ve always wondered how to pick up fat chicks when i wasn’t drunk
4 asses in this picture, 3 i would like to tap, and 1 that’s going to need a spinal tap.
“I said give me an W stupid!”
“………and that’s why I don’t eat Arby’s.”
Human speed bumps work, but are messy.
Xtreme two-handed douche plant
Introducing….Sport Cut Depends. For those “FAILED,SHOWOFF” moments.
*Now with a built in cup*
Chaz attempts to explain US-Middle East relations through the art of cycling.
“I bet “The Guy Who Learned All His Bedroom Moves From Early “90s Slow Jams” could it.”
After winning the gold in skank hurdles, Jimmy goes on to dominate the rest of the special olympics
I can ride a bike with only handlebars, only handlebars, only handlebars
I can ride a bike with only handlebars, only handlebars, only handlebars.
“I swear I pulled this off earlier with my training wheels on.”
“And for my next trick, I’ll leave on a stretcher with a broken back while crying like a little bitch. So, when should I pick you ladies up?”
That’s a picture of me on the way to the store to buy FIFA 09, you assholes.
Cristiano Ronaldo dives and he get supermodels…Andy dives and all he gets are a broken pelvis and the laughter of three girls. How is this fair?!
The notoriously shirtless Matthew Mcconaughey was riding bicycles with his buddy Lance Armstrong. But Lance, being the prankster he is, let him try his trick “make you fly through your asshole” bicycle that he hocks off on his competitors.
aw not again!
Matt Hoffman performing his brand new trick: “Accident”
In the year 2058, AI kung-fu-trained bicycles will beat the shit out of rapists.
“If I can nail this, I’ll at least get to bang the fat chick!”
The skinny Kardashian died her hair.
ooooh. SNAP!
Its time to stop riding when even your bike knows you’re an asshole.
As Jose pedaled closer he realized his mistake, tried to abort, and forgot the pesky rear handbrake.
I can also do this with a soda can ladies
did I hear you say THREESOME?!
I hope these girls have seen “The Disclosure Project” because i am telling them a U.F.O. flew in front of me, and what i did was necessary, to save the world from universal warfare of course.
ohh and this one right here ladies? i like to call the complete jackass took awhile to master.
The mountain-bike human-trebuchet .. pussy magnet
Somehow he managed to turn all three of them into lesbians within 30 seconds of meeting them.
Women who would be impressed by this are as dumb as Heidi Montag.
Men who would attempt this are as dumb as Spencer Pratt….
Dave Schmirra’s Freestyle BMX
In Soviet Russia, bike rides you.
Picture + Prize = Bicycle Kick
i bent my wookie
girl: so then i says to mable, i says….
guy: hey girls, you like my new hover bike?
girl: it’s just a huffy and some fishing line.
guy: i bent my wookie
I used to do tricks like that once….then my mom got a job and bought me a ramp.
He wasn’t sure if one of the cows had sat on his bike… until he hit the flat spot on the wheel.
“I’m gonna die in front of these bitches”
Which one of you girls would like to spoon-feed a quadraplegic?
In the final days of the campaign, Obama takes his grassroots approach too far.
This is good one for a new bumper sticker : “I BREAK for hot chicks!
The Bike: check me out girls,this is how you toss a douchebag.
Mary, Julie and Liz went to the park for some douchebag watching. They were not disappointed.
I landed it, and then had a four-way with the chicks. You can all bite me.
Ok, If I land this, we are totally having a foursome!
“I’m gonna throw this bike so f@#king far……”
no pain…..no pussy!
reminds me of my douche bag brother in law!
Hiro really shouldn’t use his abilities to embarrass other people
Females, check out my 1972 Cortez’s?
evil bike attacks citizen, on lookers watch in horrer.
Ok girls, the sun has moved and I’m not giving you shade anymore, so could you please move? I have a trig test in ten minutes.
Check me out, ladies.
My super barrel-roll will surely impress the ladies!
bones heal, chicks dig scars…. but glory last forever!
Stevo from Jackass has got to start going after older women! If not, then he should have at least done the bottle-rocket out of the asshole trick to land those young-uns.
He’s been up there how long?!
did i mention i just got new gears for this baby
thems the brakes
so i guess PINK really wanted to save her relationship with corey hart!!! Cuz she looks good in between those other 2 broads
Sure laugh now, but most of you have handled my ass pennies!!!
“Hey girls, I’m head over wheels for you!!”
*cue The Price Is Right failure music*
i want to land on the big ass
Guy: One of y’all grab my legs, another sit on my face, and the last one hop on my junk. It’s called the threezy rider.
Guy: One of y’all grab my legs, another sit on my face, and the last one hop on my junk. It’s called the threezy rider.
Guy: One of y’all grab my legs, another sit on my face, and the last one hop on my junk. It’s called the threezy rider.
sorry for the multi-post, didn’t think it was going throughf
Ill take “how to NOT impress women” for 500 Alex
hold it, hold it…….THATS RIGHT, you can’t mess with the ZOHAN!!!!!
Hello, dear ladies, see my excellent sense of balance? I’d like to take you for ice cream. You should see what I can do with four ice cream cones.
Oh, now I remember, the right grip controls the front break.
Which one of you put super glue on my grips?!!!
Maybe if I hold on to the handlebars, the seat will hit me directly in the nuts, and you know what that means… Sympathyyyy
Girl: Hey, I have those same Nikes!
TA-DA!
HEY LADIES VOTE FOR ME!!! Barack Obama will do anything to get votes!!
Hey Ladies Vote for me. Barack Obama will do anything for votes!
Invisible Guard Rail.
This is the sort of mating ritual that leads to extinction
What you guys don’t know is that he’s been holding that position for over a minute. Now that is pure upper body strength.
“Yuck! Lisa, what have you been eating?”
And the Olympic Gold goes to…
The bumper sticker on his car says- “I Front Brake for Fat Chicks”
mountain bike, $600
Nike shoes, $65
hospital bill, $25,000
crippling yourself while still being able to impress the ladies, priceless.
With a cry of “Secret identity be damned!”, Murray did three back-flips and intercepted the runaway bike. Thus saving the 3 damsels from the indignity of the imminent collision.
Hey Ladies can you pull my shorts up?
When you have erectile disfunction you have to impress the ladies in some way.
just wanted to show you ladies what a concusion and a back spasm looked like in hi-deff.
bicycle…$200
stunt classes…$300
orgy with 3 girls for being a badass….priceless
eat your heart out Neo!
I can throw this thing like 30-40 yards!
Tragically, Johnny’s illness prevents him from distinguishing a bmx from a parachute.
Damn so that is where I let my keys
For my next impression….Lance Armstrong!
Even with years of vigorous flatland bmx training, Johnathan was still somehow unable to impress women.