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See, I don’t always have my head up my ass!
“Step back citizens, for I am chair man! er chair boy!!!”
WTF MAN? THAT ISNT FUNNY…KILL YOURSELF
Like Hotel Rwanda, you can get in, but you can’t get out. Then a bunch of Americans come along.
“The Teacher Miss Abby, Cafeterial lady Judith, Maintenace man Harry, and even Coach Handcock, all say I was an accident, what does that mean?”
“Kid, let this be a valuable lesson to you: always use KY Jelly on your head for tight spaces.”
this was the most awkward junior high dance i ever had to chaparone
“Kid, mind telling how this happened?”
“I said I could fit my head through this hole, my friend said to me ‘bet you won’t!’”
“Well, what did you win?”
“What the fuck do you think I won?! My picture is going to be all over the internet, get off my damn back!”
Self abortion.. not as easy as it looks
Self Abortion… not as easy as it looks!!!
“Oh Little Fatty! When are you going to learn? Quit licking the seats in the cafeteria!”
Memories of his child birth are all coming back to him now.
someday dad will be able to buy me a REAL spider costume
this is why zombies dont give a shit about amber alerts……
Free Lollipop? Oh yea…it was totally worth it.
I auditioned for Grey’s Anatomy.
“what did you expect me to do, I was a fat kid in the 90s”
During parenting classes little Johnny shwed all the students what birthing a baby really looks like from close up.
the real life ralph wiggum
you’re doing it wrong
This week on lost.
Billy, I can maybe understand you getting your head stuck in the chair, boys will be boys, but why are your pants around your ankles. And why was your teacher zipping his pants when we walked in?
Kid this is what you get for trying to sit like Mork.
Fredricksburg Middle School took the emergency response drill to a whole new level that afternoon
HEY!!! Theres no gum under here. Which one of you took it?
Mommy always said Daddy has his head up his ass, so I thought I’d try it out too.
ALLS-I-NEEDED-WAS-A-CHIP-AND-A-CHAIR-AND-A-CHANCE
the things i do to get a glimpse at saras pretty panties.
the things i do to see saras pretty panties.
John McCain, 80 years ago!
See, I told you I could fit my head through that hole. Give me my dollar.
Yup…..that was definitely the wrong hole.
Thanks to him, those holes in chairs are now called “Clifford holes”.
That was the last time little Arnie tried to piss off the class bully.
Stick my head in this chair for a lollipop?? Ok!!
Step back citizens, for I am chair man! er… chair boy!!!
dont cut my bling yo! iz stylin! what what!
Billy’s first attempt at LARPing was thoroughly unsuccessful. Though it suited his warrior’s appearance, the suit of battle armor was entirely too difficult to remove.
Before racial equality black women were subject to having their hands sawed off if they were found putting there hands on white children. The victimized children were able to watch the gruesome punishment first hand. In this case the child got a front row seat.
I know you can’t tell from the picture, but my ass hurts WAY more than my neck…
If he spit out the sucker, the chair would come off!
Reinventing the wedgie
What do you mean did my mom smoke pot when she was pregnant?
Since his teacher wouldn’t give him any action, little Joey got attention the best way he knew how.
The pen is royal blue!!!
“Christ Bob! I think it would be easier to cut his fucking head off then hacksaw through this chair.” “God knows the little bastard deserves it Jim!”
Crap! It’s not like warm apple pie OR this!
i am Dork from Ork!
Remember the video of the guy sticking his head all the way into a woman’s pussy? I tried that…with a chair
I heard my 5th grade teacher was into kinky stuff…I was just practicing. Can you buy me some vodka and get me out of here soon…I have to be over there by 6 and I can’t drive?
When keeping it real goes wrong.
With the obesity problems in our children today and the plate lunch being of “mystery meat,” little Johnny decided to take advantage of the delicious “eco-friendly” “green earth” chair!
So, teach was like, “Johnny, come up to the board and solve for x” and I was like “fuck you buddy, I’d rather stick my head in the chair then come up there and do your stupid math.” As you can see, my ingenious plan worked to perfection!
“Yeah, I stuck my head in the chair…but at least I’m not sawing through my own wrist!”
Luckily after removing the boys head, the chair was able to be used again
“Dude, I got em all distracted, get the test answers, GET THE F’ IN TEST ANSWERS, TOMMMY”
Life in Catholic School, “Thank you Father O’Keefe, may I have another?!”
Hey guy’s, lets not waste a perfectly good chair. all we have to do is separate my neck and then were all good.
Hey do you think you can get the nurse to itch my ass?
Little Johnny began screaming profusely once he learned the truth, Narnia could only be accessed through the wardrobe, not the chair.
Son, are you still biting down on the chewing gum?
and you thought being fat was bad enough
I saw a twinkee in the floor, but.. I did not see the chair in the way. Curse you god for inventing the abomination you call “chairs”!!!1!!1!!ONE!!1
It had always been his dream, to grow up and become a successful surgeon. And on that day, Janitor Bob truely felt like his dream had come true, if only for a moment.
hahahahaha..jokes. look at the kids face..hes gonna go find some next chair and do it again.
This is what Public School did for Me!
This is what public school thought me !
FUCK MUSICAL CHAIRS
Little Billy: Hey, nice hacksaw. How much you wanna bet I can get my head through that…
Yes Jimmy we know this is sparta! Now hold still so the janitor doesnt cutt off your ear
“Just like winnie the pooh”
“OK, the saw I get…but is it really necessary for the nurse to take my temperature?”
ONE child left behind.
nurse: “white people”
Does this chair make me look fat?
“See heres the thing…were gonna have to cut this fat kids head off to save the chair!”
I am decepticon!! bow to me peasents
Jimmy could no longer stand the name calling from the other students about his “growth” and decided to have it removed immediately.
Another victim of the ass-sniffing venus chair-trap.
FOX’s new reality show Two for Flinching. Former schoolyard bullies return to their old stompin grounds…40 years later!
Father O’Malley said this is the position Jesus would do.
Little Tommy’s curiosity of where his farts actually go got the better of him this time.
“He Triple Dog Dared Me.”
“Your right, farts do smell as soon as they come out your but.”
For recess Billy wanted to play spiderman. Billy was unfortunately assigned the role of Dr. Octavious.
“Let’s see…shop teacher, janitor, school nurse, fucking bitch Mrs. Crabtree who made me stick my head in a chair for talking…I’m fucked! Is it too much to ask for a cop or a paramedic or something? These clowns are going to cut my ass off…”
Explaining what he did you your mother last night was jsut not enough.
The things we do to get to the head of the class…
And with that, the No Child Left Behind Task Force sprang into action.
Now Johnny, next time we think we see a jelly bean on the floor, we arent gonna dive through our desk in the middle of class are we?