Write a caption for this really hairy Dale Earnhardt fan and you could win a copy of EA’s NASCAR 09. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified via Holy Taco.
See last week’s winners after the jump.
I would just like to say, that the hot dog on dog photo brought the best captions yet. Good work, people. Give yourself a round of applause.
Winner:
Fink: Ha, nobody will recognize me now that I’ve got my hot dog mustache.
Runner Ups:
Frazz: I wish I could lick my wiener
AM: Seriously though, where’s my hot dog? I just had it a second ago.
TG: It’s a dog balance dog world out there
Joe: now I know how your wife feels
KG: Fido sports the new Weiner Sanchez
KTFO: What the fuck is that? That lying bitch told me she was tested!!
Zach: Great, first my son’s born with a dick on his back now the dog is growing sausage out of his face. (for referenceing this news story)
Jon: I hate caddying for Kobiyashi
Ms. Pants: I have a dick on my face, don’t I?
Donnie: HEY! Wait a damn minute! These are not my glasses! OK OK, who’s the fuckin wise guy?
Tanya: I’m actually staring at the BIGGER weiner.
Glock n Ballz: “Two dogs enter, one dogs leaves, two dogs enter, one dog leaves
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
Sheila was so thrilled when she won the race tickets, she brought her pet monkey.
Representing for my fellow 3-inchers sitting on the sidelines!
Upon receiving a Cease and Desist letter from Richard Petty Racing, Leroy and his wife decided it was best to become Earnhardt Racing fans, resulting in her subsequent Walmart blouse purchase.
“they took a left turn!!”
New trend in the south; shaving your IQ onto your back.
A convenient birthmark has destined Frank to become Dale Earnhardt’s greatest fan. Dwayne Wade and Allen Iverson had already filed restraining orders against the persistent dreamer, who swears that “This time will be different, Dale understands me.”
It’s not the Sasquatch hair so much as their matching nipple hair braids.
When bath day and race day collide.
Well, now we know what the weiner dog was looking at.
Now, let’s not jump to conclusions. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explana……um…….No. Never mind. It’s a hairy redneck with a 3 shaved into his back at a NASCAR race. Seriously, is this what the South fought so hard for?
Oh! Oh Lord! Ohmmmmmfffffff *BARF!!!!!*
When Harry met Sally, part 3
It was an eight twenty minutes ago.
George “The Animal” Steele and Elizabeth lived happily ever after.
Thankfully, his favorite racer’s number was one digit, considering there was not enough space for more on his back.
If you really think about it, this will probably set NASCAR fans and the South forward a few decades. Congrats!
Redneck: well he wa runnin reel kindagoodlike til old gordon come ‘long and hit him in the ass bumper, so i gets to cussin and hootin and hollerin and pulled out ma .30 aut 6 and tells gordon he better get the hell outta ol juniors house cuz its his house now den bubba jo cum up and swung’d on ‘im cuz he dont like no jeff gordon with his new york hairdo and his damn yankee whiney type talkn and i tell you what boy it was a hootananni
“It was an eight twenty minutes ago.”
I wish I’d said that.
If you turn him on his side it looks like a m
….It’s a magic number.
…2…1…and I’m a werewolf.
I didn’t know Rosie O’Donnell liked nascar!
“See hun, I told you my Chewbaca Nascar costume would be a big hit”
“Sadly the only place Eddy could get the Rogain he bought for his hair to work was on his back…”
George the Animal Steel is not dead!!!! He’s been hiding among the Nascar fans all this time.
A fucking nascar game? Honestly?
Dale Sr. and back hair: A Nascar tradition since 1979…
A new rule for Nascar fans attending this years races: Everyone must shave their IQ somewhere in their body hair.
Gillette’s new Mach3 ad campaign.
The woman has a 3 shaved where only the unfortunate lower levels can see it…
Marsha and Bob are huge #43 fans, but due to the speedways’ decency rule, Marsha had to put her shirt back on.
George was forced to compromise after he left his Earnhardt shirt in the port-o-potty.
You should see her back.
No shirt, no taste, no problem!
After 3 long years, my pube-suit is finally ready for showtime!!
YOU LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I PICKED UP MY WIFES NEET THINKIN IT WAS BODY WASH THIS MORNING>>>
I wonder if this stencil is available on eBay!
I said I love BLACK number three, not a BACK number three!
Thats once, twice,
three times she’s shaved me,
and I loooove her
“…and I used the hair to make the lovely wig my wife is wearing.”
No money for good seats. No money for a real shirt.
And who said nascar fans dont have taste?!
You mean to tell me you didnt shave? it just grows all…white trash like that??
Number of times this man has had sex
TV Reporter: Have Crop Circles resurfaced?! Tune in for more at Eleven.
“at least it’s better than a dick growing on your back”
Earl was in complete dismay when he realized he was tricked into coming here rather than the local theater hall to see the rendition of Symphony No. 3 in E flat major by Beethoven.
$90 for tickets
$2 for razor
$3 for shaving cream
Things women do for their redneck husbands at Nascar races: PRICELESS!!!!
You have to love rednecks, always good for a laugh!!!!
“RIGHT” back at ya
New NASCAR back stencils!
Nair works everywhere you have hair!
His ass says #88
Honey, the 3′s great but next week how about a portrait of Robert E. Lee to show those yankees I mean business?!?
Bear cavalry – it exists.
Intimidate this.
fat fukin rednecks…
Following Wesley Snipes motto, “Always bet on a hairy back”
Anyone that can display on themselves how many people you have slept with gets in for free.
I donated the hair to locks of love for cancer…
And this is Daryl and I on our honeymoon, I got him this Hollister sweater as a way of saying thanks for making me his “old lady”
Honey when are you going to sew the number on my sweater?
i dont know what to empathize more for, that guys shower drain, or the person whos going to sit in that chair next
Rest im frieden, Hair, er Herr Earnhardt!
(translation: Rest in peace, Mr. Earnhardt)
much like joe dirt, the hair on his back naturally grew in a redneck pattern.
Nascar T-Shirts?! Thats soooo 5 years ago!
Jasper was so proud to be a Waltrip that he had his family tree shaved into his back.
That is the last time Jethro let’s his dyslexic wife help him try to win free Big Mac’s for a year.
Hey Look ma, Them thur folks got a picture of that time you all shaved mah back for your third grade gradimacation celerbration and posted it on the world wide web.
Not pictured: Good taste, dignity, or deoderant.
God Damn Yeti
Don’t worry… She’s representing with 3 boobs. Oh, wait, that’s just her FUPA…
im in the 300 pound club. and to the left of me is man-bear-pig.
We’re cheering for 13, not 3. You should have just shaved your back like I told you too.
“What the fuck happened last night?”
When i told the hairdresser i wanted a Number 3 on my back that wasn’t quite what i had in mind…
Bertha hand me that dang shurt I can’t believe that son of a bitch showed me up with Skoal Can on his Chest
Bertha hand me that dang shurt I can’t believe that son of a bitch showed me up with a Skoal Can on his chest
I tell you WHAT, Honey. Dale Jr. better when that race or I’m gonna whoop his ass.
Thanks honey, now everyone sitting behind us will know that I have 3 testicles!
3′s a crowd. A hairy, disgusting crowd.
Damn, thats gonna itch growing back…
O.K. I know what the 3 is for, but for the life of me I can’t figure out the 0 on his head.
“Let me remind everyone that the volunteer fire department’s bachelor auction will be taking place shortly after the race, be sure to look for large numbers pasted on our bachelor’s backs for a preview!”
Vroom vroom.
“see i told you,,, we shoulda shaved dale jr’s number into your backhair baby, now i just look stupid”
50% Car 50% man 100% NASCAR!!!
shaving kit…20$ tickets for race…100$ Showing the people behind you your pride and way too much more….Priceless.
How do I know him from my first two husbands? Easy!
When Jim’s 3x shirt arrived, it was alot smaller then expected so out of fury he ripped his back hairs out and coincidently it came out number 3.
Looks like King Kong was even a Dale Earnhardt fan. I dont blame him if i had that much hair i would shave it off also.
I’m a hairy fat guy with the #3 shaved into my back…
With gas prices for the ‘ole casa de tralier park so high, ammenities like body paint had to be cut back. See, even rednecks can be ingenuitive.
Dale was a huge fan of gorillas.
I’ll let you in on a secret. They were numbered 1, 3, and 4. Animal control looked hours for #2.
Good thing I was drunk and laying on my side when this scrotum was waxed onto my back, otherwise I would have looked like a total idiot!
you think this is cool? you should see my pubes
White Tee’s and Hairy 3′s!
The security guard asked Ted’s wife to put her t-shirt back on despite her argument that doing so would ruin the couple’s show of support for Bobby Labonte, driver #43.
“Hey Lou Anne, how does that back hair sandwich taste??”
Buy-1-get-3 day at the races promotion is misinterpreted by the gate attendants.
Jeb enjoyed the seats his hairy back ad space scored for him on eBay.
I was sure I’d be in the next M&Ms commercial….
“It was supposed to be an eight, but we ran outta shavin’ cream…”
or
“It was supposed to be an eight but the razor jammed up ’bout half way through…”
“Honey, this aint gonna work unless you take of your shirt too so they can see the other number!”
New from the makers of Chia Pet…… Grow your favourite NASCAR Driver’s number.
or how about:
You should see my wife’s back, she’s a Dale Jr. Fan and it was a lot harder shaving the 88 than my 3.
ewww
I’m actually a Jr. fan but my blade dulled out half way through my 8.
Yeah, Dale is cool, but my car runs on pure testosterone.
I didn’t know Chewbacca was a Nascar fan.
The only way my sister would marry me was if I shaved a 3 in my back…shes loves Dale Sr.
You missed a spot with the spray on hair there buddy.
and u thought shaving ur area was a tough job, at least you can prop ur leg for easier access!
I left my other two sweaters at the coin laundromat.
She ate number one and number two…
Does this “3″ make me look fat?
He is just displaying the number of times bigger is girlfriend is than him!!
Number of seats they had to purchase for the race!!
You think his three is impressive? Wait till you see his wife’s.
Yes your once…twice…three times a hairy fat fucker
This is the number of beers it took for this guy to do that.
Oh no not the hairy sideways camel toe ….. its the best good luck charm of all.
I hope peta doesnt catch sight of the pelt this guys wearing
Bill lost the bet…
Even chia pets love NASCAR
3 is the last grade he completed in school !!!!
The front is an ad for Rogaine.
I didn’t know that Bigfoot was a Nascar fan.
He wanted a pair of tits, but the waxing was too painful to add the nipples, sadly now he’s left with an ass when he lies on his side.
her back had a number 8 on it
redneck trampstamp
She’s so popular she has her dates numbered.
orrrrrrrrrrrr
Last night as she was doing him she got bored and put her initial on his back, it’s not a 3, it’s an E for Ettaliddlebiddago.
Two is company but 3 is a drag…..
I like to write on back the number of times that I have been laid.
He is so desperate to get laid that he is even trying to put lucky charms on his back.
Man taking the pic: Umm..Sir….I know your from the south, but Mr. Earnhardts number has been retired for almost 7 years now..
Hairy man: What you be talkin about you damn yankee? *takes a drink of beer* He just hasnt made any races in the past 7 years…
Pic man: Whatever you want to believe, guess that really is your IQ on your back…
Daytona 2001: I dont think Harry is gonna like the outcome of the race.
Goldilocks and the third bear: the later years.
They shave a number on our backs at the zoo, so they can tell us gorillas apart !!!
“I have enough back hair for THREE hair transplants!”
Third spotting of the mythical yeti photo op.
What do you get when you cross a Yeti, Jaba The Hut, and Count von Count?
I bet he has Chris Benoit’s face shaved into his chest…..too soon?
hehe. naaw, it just grows in that way…
Why is the other bloke wearing a bra?
Honey, What’s everybody lookin’ at?
So long as there is body wax and bic razors, the legacy Dale Sr. lives on.
When Cletus gets drunk and lost the neighbors now know to kindly return him to trailer #3.
“I really hope Jr. notices me baby, or I spent all that money on CHIA-Back for nothing.”
Gone… but not FURgotten
wow they really pump the AC up in the VIP boxes, good thind I brought my sweater!!
I have my back hair, my babe, my beer, my belly and my racing what more do I need”.
Believe it or not but I was born this way, its male pattern white trash
The shame of being a Rusty Wallace fan with this nasty hair growth pattern forced Melvin to sit in the last row of the upper deck at every NASCAR Race.
Shit, Honey, is that an 8?
When your monthly shower falls on the same day as the big race, its only a question of priorities.
Schoolhouse Rock always taught me that ’3′ is the magic number……
You know your a redneck if…
you think this is cool? you should see the jeff foxworthy tattoo on my ass
The number razors used to finish this masterpiece…
To prevent further arguement, Hoss often shaved how many limbs are in his family tree on his back.
This hairy beast has finally got a goood reason to go out now.
The sad thing is that the guy probably wishes he had greater hair density so that his love for a dead racer with a weak neck would show up better.
“3″ number of years since he’s been able to see his tuna can.
We’re # 1 – wait thats taken.. how about 2…. ok I’ll be #3
Well Dale Earnheart died it left a scar on all of us…
oh yea there out there and why are they always at nascar!
Billy Bob decided to enjoy the race after completing his prone semi-nude photo shoot for McDonald’s bringing back the McRib sandwich…..
Nascar fans will even wear an embossed bear skin rug showing their loyalty to their favorite driver…..
once,twice three times an asshole, yup you did it… now you are a whole ass.
Hun! Is there something in my tooth?
What happened to my sweater?
I was supposed to be with #1 but he backed out and #2 was an even bigger loser than this guy.
The 1st EVER “Fro-Back Jersey”. Coming to a store near you….However I sure hope not.
It only cost Betty Sue 2 packs of paul malls and a single mud tire to barter herself a Dale Earnhardt collectible husband off the craigslist.
“Honey, did you see the image of what my boobs did to your back after we shaved around them last night?”
Nascar: Its like taking a Grizzly Bear and rubbing it all over you!!
Three is the amount of miles out in space you can be and still see this dude’s body fur.
Being a Nascar fan means being:
Part Man, Part Beast, but 100% Gillette Mach 3 Turbo (Official Sponsor of Nascar)
now how the hell am i gonna get this backwards ‘E’ off my back??