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Give-A-Wednesday: Win NASCAR 09

Write a caption for this really hairy Dale Earnhardt fan and you could win a copy of EA’s NASCAR 09. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified via Holy Taco.

See last week’s winners after the jump.

I would just like to say, that the hot dog on dog photo brought the best captions yet. Good work, people. Give yourself a round of applause.

Fink: Ha, nobody will recognize me now that I’ve got my hot dog mustache.

Runner Ups:
Frazz: I wish I could lick my wiener

AM: Seriously though, where’s my hot dog? I just had it a second ago.

TG: It’s a dog balance dog world out there

Joe: now I know how your wife feels

KG: Fido sports the new Weiner Sanchez

KTFO: What the fuck is that? That lying bitch told me she was tested!!

Zach: Great, first my son’s born with a dick on his back now the dog is growing sausage out of his face. (for referenceing this news story)

Jon: I hate caddying for Kobiyashi

Ms. Pants: I have a dick on my face, don’t I?

Donnie: HEY! Wait a damn minute! These are not my glasses! OK OK, who’s the fuckin wise guy?

Tanya: I’m actually staring at the BIGGER weiner.

Glock n Ballz: “Two dogs enter, one dogs leaves, two dogs enter, one dog leaves

177 Responses to "Give-A-Wednesday: Win NASCAR 09"

  1. CB says:

    Sheila was so thrilled when she won the race tickets, she brought her pet monkey.

  2. CRL says:

    Representing for my fellow 3-inchers sitting on the sidelines!

  3. David Johnson says:

    Upon receiving a Cease and Desist letter from Richard Petty Racing, Leroy and his wife decided it was best to become Earnhardt Racing fans, resulting in her subsequent Walmart blouse purchase.

  4. Leivur says:

    “they took a left turn!!”

  5. DonnyG says:

    New trend in the south; shaving your IQ onto your back.

  6. meeky says:

    A convenient birthmark has destined Frank to become Dale Earnhardt’s greatest fan. Dwayne Wade and Allen Iverson had already filed restraining orders against the persistent dreamer, who swears that “This time will be different, Dale understands me.”

  7. davea1a says:

    It’s not the Sasquatch hair so much as their matching nipple hair braids.

  8. davea1a says:

    When bath day and race day collide.

  9. davea1a says:

    Well, now we know what the weiner dog was looking at.

  10. davea1a says:

    Now, let’s not jump to conclusions. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explana……um…….No. Never mind. It’s a hairy redneck with a 3 shaved into his back at a NASCAR race. Seriously, is this what the South fought so hard for?

  11. davea1a says:

    Oh! Oh Lord! Ohmmmmmfffffff *BARF!!!!!*

  12. bob says:

    When Harry met Sally, part 3

  13. Duke says:

    It was an eight twenty minutes ago.

  14. Sasha Vujacic says:

    George “The Animal” Steele and Elizabeth lived happily ever after.

  15. Owen says:

    Thankfully, his favorite racer’s number was one digit, considering there was not enough space for more on his back.

  16. Chadillac says:

    If you really think about it, this will probably set NASCAR fans and the South forward a few decades. Congrats!

  17. bgloyd says:

    Redneck: well he wa runnin reel kindagoodlike til old gordon come ‘long and hit him in the ass bumper, so i gets to cussin and hootin and hollerin and pulled out ma .30 aut 6 and tells gordon he better get the hell outta ol juniors house cuz its his house now den bubba jo cum up and swung’d on ‘im cuz he dont like no jeff gordon with his new york hairdo and his damn yankee whiney type talkn and i tell you what boy it was a hootananni

  18. Father Sunday says:

    “It was an eight twenty minutes ago.”

    I wish I’d said that.

  19. Mattrofl says:

    If you turn him on his side it looks like a m

  20. MrVegas says:

    ….It’s a magic number.

  21. ProSeeder says:

    …2…1…and I’m a werewolf.

  22. BDo says:

    I didn’t know Rosie O’Donnell liked nascar!

  23. Nascar sucks says:

    “See hun, I told you my Chewbaca Nascar costume would be a big hit”

  24. Thats a lot of hair says:

    “Sadly the only place Eddy could get the Rogain he bought for his hair to work was on his back…”

  25. Michael Fabricatore says:

    George the Animal Steel is not dead!!!! He’s been hiding among the Nascar fans all this time.

  26. Dan says:

    A fucking nascar game? Honestly?

  27. John says:

    Honey, the 3′s great but next week how about a portrait of Robert E. Lee to show those yankees I mean business?!?

  28. Greg says:

    Bear cavalry – it exists.

  29. Geoff says:

    Intimidate this.

  30. Seth says:

    fat fukin rednecks…

  31. KG says:

    Following Wesley Snipes motto, “Always bet on a hairy back”

  32. jack says:

    Anyone that can display on themselves how many people you have slept with gets in for free.

  33. Robert says:

    I donated the hair to locks of love for cancer…

  34. kamel says:

    And this is Daryl and I on our honeymoon, I got him this Hollister sweater as a way of saying thanks for making me his “old lady”

  35. bill says:

    Honey when are you going to sew the number on my sweater?

  36. e46m3 says:

    i dont know what to empathize more for, that guys shower drain, or the person whos going to sit in that chair next

  37. Eric says:

    Rest im frieden, Hair, er Herr Earnhardt!

    (translation: Rest in peace, Mr. Earnhardt)

  38. much like joe dirt, the hair on his back naturally grew in a redneck pattern.

  39. SteveManhattan says:

    Nascar T-Shirts?! Thats soooo 5 years ago!

  40. Brian says:

    Jasper was so proud to be a Waltrip that he had his family tree shaved into his back.

  41. Terry says:

    That is the last time Jethro let’s his dyslexic wife help him try to win free Big Mac’s for a year.

  42. adam says:

    Hey Look ma, Them thur folks got a picture of that time you all shaved mah back for your third grade gradimacation celerbration and posted it on the world wide web.

  43. dan says:

    Not pictured: Good taste, dignity, or deoderant.

  44. skoal says:

    God Damn Yeti

  45. Scott says:

    Don’t worry… She’s representing with 3 boobs. Oh, wait, that’s just her FUPA…

  46. clitwizard says:

    im in the 300 pound club. and to the left of me is man-bear-pig.

  47. bj28 says:

    “at least it’s better than a dick growing on your back”

  48. Doc says:

    Earl was in complete dismay when he realized he was tricked into coming here rather than the local theater hall to see the rendition of Symphony No. 3 in E flat major by Beethoven.

  49. Bobby says:

    $90 for tickets
    $2 for razor
    $3 for shaving cream
    Things women do for their redneck husbands at Nascar races: PRICELESS!!!!

    You have to love rednecks, always good for a laugh!!!!

  50. Bill Scire says:

    “RIGHT” back at ya

  51. Chris says:

    New NASCAR back stencils!

    Nair works everywhere you have hair!

  52. Lemonpepper says:

    His ass says #88

  53. Bria says:

    We’re cheering for 13, not 3. You should have just shaved your back like I told you too.

  54. Josh says:

    “What the fuck happened last night?”

  55. Tom says:

    When i told the hairdresser i wanted a Number 3 on my back that wasn’t quite what i had in mind…

  56. Da Vinci says:

    Bertha hand me that dang shurt I can’t believe that son of a bitch showed me up with Skoal Can on his Chest

  57. Da Vinci says:

    Bertha hand me that dang shurt I can’t believe that son of a bitch showed me up with a Skoal Can on his chest

  58. Hunter says:

    I tell you WHAT, Honey. Dale Jr. better when that race or I’m gonna whoop his ass.

  59. Fink says:

    Thanks honey, now everyone sitting behind us will know that I have 3 testicles!

  60. Nick says:

    3′s a crowd. A hairy, disgusting crowd.

  61. SHeldon says:

    Damn, thats gonna itch growing back…

  62. vinny says:

    O.K. I know what the 3 is for, but for the life of me I can’t figure out the 0 on his head.

  63. “Let me remind everyone that the volunteer fire department’s bachelor auction will be taking place shortly after the race, be sure to look for large numbers pasted on our bachelor’s backs for a preview!”

  64. Anonymous says:

    Vroom vroom.

  65. ROBERTO says:

    “see i told you,,, we shoulda shaved dale jr’s number into your backhair baby, now i just look stupid”

  66. Cam says:

    50% Car 50% man 100% NASCAR!!!

  67. Vin says:

    shaving kit…20$ tickets for race…100$ Showing the people behind you your pride and way too much more….Priceless.

  68. Numbathreefan says:

    How do I know him from my first two husbands? Easy!

  69. Flameaether says:

    When Jim’s 3x shirt arrived, it was alot smaller then expected so out of fury he ripped his back hairs out and coincidently it came out number 3.

  70. Tyler Wagner says:

    Looks like King Kong was even a Dale Earnhardt fan. I dont blame him if i had that much hair i would shave it off also.

  71. art says:

    I’m a hairy fat guy with the #3 shaved into my back…

  72. Jon L says:

    With gas prices for the ‘ole casa de tralier park so high, ammenities like body paint had to be cut back. See, even rednecks can be ingenuitive.

  73. James says:

    Dale was a huge fan of gorillas.

  74. Abe says:

    I’ll let you in on a secret. They were numbered 1, 3, and 4. Animal control looked hours for #2.

  75. Ben says:

    Good thing I was drunk and laying on my side when this scrotum was waxed onto my back, otherwise I would have looked like a total idiot!

  76. Dave Andrews says:

    you think this is cool? you should see my pubes

  77. Sonya Reed says:

    White Tee’s and Hairy 3′s!

  78. Anonymous says:

    The security guard asked Ted’s wife to put her t-shirt back on despite her argument that doing so would ruin the couple’s show of support for Bobby Labonte, driver #43.

  79. Ali says:

    “Hey Lou Anne, how does that back hair sandwich taste??”

  80. Peppy says:

    Buy-1-get-3 day at the races promotion is misinterpreted by the gate attendants.

  81. Vivienne says:

    Jeb enjoyed the seats his hairy back ad space scored for him on eBay.

  82. Ben says:

    I was sure I’d be in the next M&Ms commercial….

  83. Ryan says:

    “It was supposed to be an eight, but we ran outta shavin’ cream…”
    “It was supposed to be an eight but the razor jammed up ’bout half way through…”

  84. Ryan says:

    “Honey, this aint gonna work unless you take of your shirt too so they can see the other number!”

  85. Moraff says:

    New from the makers of Chia Pet…… Grow your favourite NASCAR Driver’s number.

    or how about:

    You should see my wife’s back, she’s a Dale Jr. Fan and it was a lot harder shaving the 88 than my 3.


  86. Big Daddy says:

    I’m actually a Jr. fan but my blade dulled out half way through my 8.

  87. Joey says:

    Yeah, Dale is cool, but my car runs on pure testosterone.

  88. Bill says:

    I didn’t know Chewbacca was a Nascar fan.

  89. Robbie says:

    The only way my sister would marry me was if I shaved a 3 in my back…shes loves Dale Sr.

  90. Kurt says:

    You missed a spot with the spray on hair there buddy.

  91. Tiffany says:

    and u thought shaving ur area was a tough job, at least you can prop ur leg for easier access!

  92. BlossomEndRot says:

    I left my other two sweaters at the coin laundromat.

  93. BlossomEndRot says:

    She ate number one and number two…

  94. BlossomEndRot says:

    Does this “3″ make me look fat?

  95. CICI38109 says:

    He is just displaying the number of times bigger is girlfriend is than him!!

  96. CICI38109 says:

    Number of seats they had to purchase for the race!!

  97. mag0o says:

    You think his three is impressive? Wait till you see his wife’s.

  98. kyla says:

    Yes your once…twice…three times a hairy fat fucker

  99. whip05 says:

    This is the number of beers it took for this guy to do that.

  100. kyla says:

    Oh no not the hairy sideways camel toe ….. its the best good luck charm of all.

  101. kyla says:

    I hope peta doesnt catch sight of the pelt this guys wearing

  102. tnt says:

    Bill lost the bet…

  103. NightmareMX6 says:

    Even chia pets love NASCAR

  104. Jeff says:

    3 is the last grade he completed in school !!!!

  105. Joe Casabona says:

    The front is an ad for Rogaine.

  106. Jim Fagan says:

    I didn’t know that Bigfoot was a Nascar fan.

  107. Ed says:

    He wanted a pair of tits, but the waxing was too painful to add the nipples, sadly now he’s left with an ass when he lies on his side.

  108. mattz says:

    her back had a number 8 on it

  109. mattz says:

    redneck trampstamp

  110. gitpikker58 says:

    She’s so popular she has her dates numbered.


    Last night as she was doing him she got bored and put her initial on his back, it’s not a 3, it’s an E for Ettaliddlebiddago.

  111. Mike Bailey says:

    Two is company but 3 is a drag…..

  112. Jay says:

    I like to write on back the number of times that I have been laid.

  113. Sam says:

    He is so desperate to get laid that he is even trying to put lucky charms on his back.

  114. Randi says:

    Man taking the pic: Umm..Sir….I know your from the south, but Mr. Earnhardts number has been retired for almost 7 years now..
    Hairy man: What you be talkin about you damn yankee? *takes a drink of beer* He just hasnt made any races in the past 7 years…
    Pic man: Whatever you want to believe, guess that really is your IQ on your back…

  115. Frankie says:

    Daytona 2001: I dont think Harry is gonna like the outcome of the race.

  116. Paul Gibbons says:

    Goldilocks and the third bear: the later years.

  117. Jeff says:

    They shave a number on our backs at the zoo, so they can tell us gorillas apart !!!

  118. Daniel says:

    “I have enough back hair for THREE hair transplants!”

  119. Daniel says:

    Third spotting of the mythical yeti photo op.

  120. Daniel says:

    What do you get when you cross a Yeti, Jaba The Hut, and Count von Count?

  121. DonkeyShow says:

    I bet he has Chris Benoit’s face shaved into his chest…..too soon?

  122. ky says:

    hehe. naaw, it just grows in that way…

  123. Earl says:

    Why is the other bloke wearing a bra?

  124. Sweet T says:

    Honey, What’s everybody lookin’ at?

  125. Bill says:

    So long as there is body wax and bic razors, the legacy Dale Sr. lives on.

  126. vinny says:

    When Cletus gets drunk and lost the neighbors now know to kindly return him to trailer #3.

  127. Mike Sprouse says:

    “I really hope Jr. notices me baby, or I spent all that money on CHIA-Back for nothing.”

  128. logan says:

    Gone… but not FURgotten

  129. greg says:

    wow they really pump the AC up in the VIP boxes, good thind I brought my sweater!!

  130. Daren says:

    I have my back hair, my babe, my beer, my belly and my racing what more do I need”.

  131. Doug says:

    Believe it or not but I was born this way, its male pattern white trash

  132. mike says:

    The shame of being a Rusty Wallace fan with this nasty hair growth pattern forced Melvin to sit in the last row of the upper deck at every NASCAR Race.

  133. Shortys_a_10 says:

    Shit, Honey, is that an 8?

  134. VickyC says:

    When your monthly shower falls on the same day as the big race, its only a question of priorities.

  135. SnakesOnMyPlane says:

    Schoolhouse Rock always taught me that ’3′ is the magic number……

  136. GrandaddyPurp says:

    You know your a redneck if…

  137. bgloyd75 says:

    you think this is cool? you should see the jeff foxworthy tattoo on my ass

  138. Kalani says:

    The number razors used to finish this masterpiece…

  139. BRemmel says:

    To prevent further arguement, Hoss often shaved how many limbs are in his family tree on his back.

  140. cristina says:

    This hairy beast has finally got a goood reason to go out now.

  141. Newt says:

    The sad thing is that the guy probably wishes he had greater hair density so that his love for a dead racer with a weak neck would show up better.

  142. j$ says:

    “3″ number of years since he’s been able to see his tuna can.

  143. FrogSoda says:

    We’re # 1 – wait thats taken.. how about 2…. ok I’ll be #3

  144. SumGuy says:

    Well Dale Earnheart died it left a scar on all of us…

  145. kat says:

    oh yea there out there and why are they always at nascar!

  146. KLM says:

    Billy Bob decided to enjoy the race after completing his prone semi-nude photo shoot for McDonald’s bringing back the McRib sandwich…..

  147. KLM says:

    Nascar fans will even wear an embossed bear skin rug showing their loyalty to their favorite driver…..

  148. christine says:

    once,twice three times an asshole, yup you did it… now you are a whole ass.

  149. Cactus Pilot says:

    Hun! Is there something in my tooth?

  150. gcarri says:

    What happened to my sweater?

  151. I was supposed to be with #1 but he backed out and #2 was an even bigger loser than this guy.

  152. YOUNGFED says:

    The 1st EVER “Fro-Back Jersey”. Coming to a store near you….However I sure hope not.

  153. BobbyD says:

    It only cost Betty Sue 2 packs of paul malls and a single mud tire to barter herself a Dale Earnhardt collectible husband off the craigslist.

  154. stickbe says:

    “Honey, did you see the image of what my boobs did to your back after we shaved around them last night?”

  155. Chris Lundy says:

    Nascar: Its like taking a Grizzly Bear and rubbing it all over you!!

  156. Leslie says:

    Three is the amount of miles out in space you can be and still see this dude’s body fur.

  157. Chris Lundy says:

    Being a Nascar fan means being:
    Part Man, Part Beast, but 100% Gillette Mach 3 Turbo (Official Sponsor of Nascar)

  158. KrauseMan says:

    now how the hell am i gonna get this backwards ‘E’ off my back??

  159. Dale Sr. and back hair: A Nascar tradition since 1979…

  160. vinny says:

    A new rule for Nascar fans attending this years races: Everyone must shave their IQ somewhere in their body hair.

  161. Gillette’s new Mach3 ad campaign.

  162. darylo says:

    The woman has a 3 shaved where only the unfortunate lower levels can see it…

  163. CB says:

    Marsha and Bob are huge #43 fans, but due to the speedways’ decency rule, Marsha had to put her shirt back on.

  164. CB says:

    George was forced to compromise after he left his Earnhardt shirt in the port-o-potty.

  165. CB says:

    You should see her back.

  166. CB says:

    No shirt, no taste, no problem!

  167. Shawn L says:

    After 3 long years, my pube-suit is finally ready for showtime!!

  168. ANTHONY says:


  169. Town-Drunk says:

    I wonder if this stencil is available on eBay!

  170. TM0ney says:

    I said I love BLACK number three, not a BACK number three!

  171. sinCwa says:

    Thats once, twice,
    three times she’s shaved me,
    and I loooove her

  172. “…and I used the hair to make the lovely wig my wife is wearing.”

  173. Craptastic says:

    No money for good seats. No money for a real shirt.

  174. Mikey says:

    And who said nascar fans dont have taste?!

  175. AnthonyYEAH!!! says:

    You mean to tell me you didnt shave? it just grows all…white trash like that??

  176. Daffy says:

    Number of times this man has had sex

  177. Joe Cool says:

    TV Reporter: Have Crop Circles resurfaced?! Tune in for more at Eleven.