Write a caption for this bear that had to get somewhere fast and you can win a copy of Order Up for the Wii. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified from HolyTaco.
See last week’s winner after the jump:
Winner:
Macker: Looks like they’re serving pressed ham in first class on this flight
Runner Ups:
GirthyMcGirth: I’m Suprised he got passed security with all that crack!
Justin L: Ummm sir thats not exactly what we meant by cockpit
LoProMoFo every time i fly some asshole gets the window seat
Dustin: the new “Alternative fuel source
Mr. T: President Bush flying over New Orleans during the Hurricane Katrina disaster.
Chris: “Fly me to the moon
Passa: An official member of the vertical smile-high club
Holycow: is it me or does this plane make my ass look big? (that joke gets me every time)
Charles: I certainly hope they don’t serve nuts on this flight ..
Christian: Only assholes get to sit in first class.
Ain’t that some shit. A mothafuckin bear can get a taxi, but a brotha has to take the bus.
“Hurry up, fucking Tigger stole my bike.”
I’m glad to see we’re not the only species nauseated by the stank of cabbies.
Boo Boo, just get me close enough to the curb to snag that picinic basket!!!
Jumanji 2: North American Animals Attack Russia!
With rumors of global warming quickly spreading throughout the animal kingdom…bears from all over rush to the Artic Regions to help their Polar brothers.
“In soviet russia bear relocates you”
“yeeah. roll up on this mawfuckah right heea…i’m gonna blast this fool…”
“Driver, take a… … …right.”
“OK, but why such the big pause?”
“I don’t know, I’ve had them all my life.”
Stephen Colbert’s worse nightmare just became mobile
i knew those mushrooms tasted funny.
someone is late for their audition in the new Will Ferrell movie
“Whud up loc!”
“Hey, is this the Cash Cab?”
They told him that he would bearly fit but he couldnt bear walking in this heat.
“To the woods STAT, I gotta take a dump!”
….this city deserves a better class of carnivore…..
so I was watching through the window, and then I saw this HUMAN in a car?
I was like “Woah!”
Chauffeur, your driving skill isn’t that bad. Actually, it is BEARable.
In communist Russia, Bear from Zoo comes to see YOU!
Scene from the sequel to Collateral, starring Tom Cruise and Will Ferrell (pictured above)
Taxicab Confessions: When Good Pets Go Bad
Taxicab Confessions: The Grizzly Truth
Grand Theft Auto V: Animal Planet
Bear: “Hey! Did you see that other bear…HUH?!… did you see it? Hey other bear… FUCK YOU!!”
jeeez thats dangerous….. that bear doesnt have its seatbelt on.
Follow that bitch! She has my porridge!
OK, take the next left and then BEAR right.
Though the taxi driver was clueless, he was now part of a drive by mauling.
With gas prices on the rise commuter bears have been hardest hit.
Achmed is exercising his right to bear arms.
Oh shit, can you make a U-turn? We just passed a Coldtsone!
This is how we relocate bears in Russia.
LuLu the bear had fallen on hard times, and unfortunately had no choice but to turn to prostitution.
Who driving car? Bear driving car!!!
Taxi gets pulled over.
Officer: “What the hell is that thing??”
Taxi Driver: ” A bear? ”
Office: ” i know that! Get it to the zoo now! ”
Taxi Driver : “We’ve just been, he had a great time!”
BALLLLLIIINNNN!!!!!! or maybe in this case it’s GROWLLLLIINNNNN!!!!!
Hey, come on, I need to get back to the hundred acre woods before Christopher Robin gets back.
The driver drives too slow that the bear can’t bear it.
Next on Animal Planet: “Taxicab Confessions”
Bernice the Bear didnt really work out so well… so Jimmy Fallon’s next choice was Queen Latifah.
And they still wont pick up black……Bears.
“Pull closer to the curb, I’m going to grab that hooker and hit the next mailbox we see!”
What tha, where am I and why does my ass hurt?
“Yes, I know. Shit sticks to my fur. That’s why I’m out HERE.”
And then Jørgen was like, “ohmigad, I no can move to San Frathisco with you,” so I was like “oh, puleeez, Magnus no needuh your bony ass anyway!”
See how much that Ranger likes it when i steal his picnic basket.
Bear right, yeah bear right. No, no bear left.
Ok… who the hell farted!!
Hurry up and get me to the airport before the wringling brothers find out im gone….They are gonna have to find a new asshole to ride that damn tricycle.
Taxi Driver to Dispatch: “I’m having a bear of a time with this passenger of mine.”
<>
^ sorry, horrible pun above.
Faster! I need to get soldier field NOW! There is a certain Rex I need to maul.
Fuckin Lol at “Follow that bitch! She Stole my porrige” michael.
My Caption “Guniess Book of Records:Taxi Driver with the biggest balls on the planet”
Pull over — I see a hiker on the right!
Circus transportation sure has changed since the cages on the railroad.. you should see the hippo car.
“Shows up at my house, eats my porage, sleeps in my bed, well I going to see how she likes it when I take a dump in her bed!”
“Hey baby, you ever had a donkey punch from a grizzly!?”
In soviet Russia bear drives you.
Hey, I don’t let my wife ride in front either.
Gotvmail.
(Insert lame joke with the word bear here)
Just drive casual, I’ll be out with the Ranger’s picnic basket.
Hey Cabbie… tell me how’s my ass taste!
(This may be too much of a reach, unless you’ve heard Shaq’s rap dedicated to Kobe. Oh well, it beats the hell out of repeating some sorry-ass Bear pun)
Step on it!!! Get me up river ahead of those damn salmon!!!
Do you have change for a pine cone?
“Hit the gas, Goldilocks is eating the porridge”
dam guy drives like an animal
Taxi driver: I usually don’t pick up celebrities, but i voted for you 50 times on american idol Ruben
I just had a Vicodin and vodka, so there is a good chance that I am not looking at a bear in a cab…in Estonia. Whatever, Judge Judy is on.
“Faster”!
Seriosuly… I don’t have a caption for this…
Who puts a fuckin bear in a cab?
Taxi Driver – “Okay Robin Williams, where to?”
west Philadelphia born and raised….
“Shit, I’m late for my next mauling.”
Hurry or I’ll miss the circus.
Step on it Goldy Nicko’s on our ass.
follow that trail of menstration!
Well shit does that mean that not all popes are catholic?
As the bear contemplates the term,”does a bear shit in the woods?,after feasting on some pedestrians. He hails the first cab he see’s, realizing he is smack dab in suburbia!!
A mother bear is generally very protective of her “cab”.
Taxi Driver: Where too?
Bear: To the gay bar! Need to pick up some cups.
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That’s why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life
Time to roll up on these fools!!!
“god damnit, this cab driver smells like shit”
That’s not a bear, that’s my bitch
YYYEEEHHHAAA!!! that last mailbox flew like 50 feet when i hit it!!
The new Russian Car Anti-Theft Device.
Ben takes a cab to the maul; his unicycle has a flat.
So you’re telling me this isn’t the panda express?
Trunk Monkey 2.0
For those of your who need more than a chimpanzee!!!
Ass gas or cash NOBODY rides for free…
This is Obviously a deleted scene from Borat
Due to the furry dice shortage, furry bears are now being used to ridicule other drivers.
Borat’s Bear, now one rich sow, is fucking tired of walking to the dump.
Here’s a Franklin. Now follow that pic-a-nic basket.
where too miss rosie o’donnel?
Any reason why you passed that black guy over there and picked me up instead?
GooooddLooorrrrdd, this is the biggest ass plug ive ever had.
labatt blue bear is smart enough to not drive under the influence
C’mon Boo Boo, We’re off to find some pick-o-nick baskets!
North to Alaska, it’s tourist season!
Fuck cab fare is expensive.
Shown in better days – R.I.P. BEARnie Mac
Hurry up, I cant bear to miss my flight!
Bear grills surviving a taxi cab ride.
Bearnie Mac on the way to the hospital, days before his death
Step on it, I’m late! The Lion and Tiger are gonna be pissed, Oh My!
Look driver, I said I’d give you a good tip if you got me some beer quick.
To the woods man, quickly. Very quickly, if you get my drift.
“Bearings” has been taken to a whole new level.
Drive faster or I’ll endanger your ass!
Another photo of Britney getting out of a taxi without a slip. and whitout a shaving.
I’m late for the shooting at the Dr. Doolittle set! My manager is gonna be pissed!
definition of government – the act of people whos shit don’t stink to control the power of peoples shit whom they think that does stink.
“If only we got Favre, we would have won the division this season…screw Rex Grossman, I’m out of here.”
Follow that pic-a-nick basket!!
Step on it Boo-Boo, that truck loaded with pic-a-nic baskets is gettin’ awayyyyy!!!
Berenstein bears : Going to New York
Yes at the light bear right
OK, here comes the mailbox…you ready, bear?
BEASTIALITY DELIVERY NOW AVAILBLE IN YOUR AREA! Just dial 1-800-BEAR-BUT and ask for the Grizzly Adams special.
Bear: Why the hell does it always smell like lamb-kabob-curry in these cabs? Hey Habeeb, open the freakin’ window will’ya!
Kazakhstan greatest country in the world
Not even the bear could stand the overpowering stench of curry.
Step on it, will ya? The woods aren’t going to shit in themselves….
Does a bear shit in the woods? NOT IF YOU DON’T HURRY THE F*CK UP!
Boy… he sure made the wrong choice in this weeks “What would you rather?”.
Hurry!Take me to the Triangle strip bar!!!
Photo taken by Danny Glover on his new iPhone…
Colbert’s house! And quickly!