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Give-A-Wednesday: Win Order Up! For The Wii

Write a caption for this bear that had to get somewhere fast and you can win a copy of Order Up for the Wii. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified from HolyTaco.

See last week’s winner after the jump:

Macker: Looks like they’re serving pressed ham in first class on this flight

Runner Ups:
GirthyMcGirth: I’m Suprised he got passed security with all that crack!

Justin L: Ummm sir thats not exactly what we meant by cockpit

LoProMoFo every time i fly some asshole gets the window seat

Dustin: the new “Alternative fuel source

Mr. T: President Bush flying over New Orleans during the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

Chris: “Fly me to the moon

Passa: An official member of the vertical smile-high club

Holycow: is it me or does this plane make my ass look big? (that joke gets me every time)

Charles: I certainly hope they don’t serve nuts on this flight ..

Christian: Only assholes get to sit in first class.

131 Responses to "Give-A-Wednesday: Win Order Up! For The Wii"

  1. Dom says:

    Ain’t that some shit. A mothafuckin bear can get a taxi, but a brotha has to take the bus.

  2. Pooh says:

    “Hurry up, fucking Tigger stole my bike.”

  3. Kenny says:

    I’m glad to see we’re not the only species nauseated by the stank of cabbies.

  4. Cameron says:

    Boo Boo, just get me close enough to the curb to snag that picinic basket!!!

  5. MxPxPunk says:

    Jumanji 2: North American Animals Attack Russia!

  6. rsmith3 says:

    With rumors of global warming quickly spreading throughout the animal kingdom…bears from all over rush to the Artic Regions to help their Polar brothers.

  7. skoal says:

    “In soviet russia bear relocates you”

  8. 1080i says:

    “yeeah. roll up on this mawfuckah right heea…i’m gonna blast this fool…”

  9. WhiteBread says:

    “Driver, take a… … …right.”

    “OK, but why such the big pause?”

    “I don’t know, I’ve had them all my life.”

  10. Eric says:

    Stephen Colbert’s worse nightmare just became mobile

  11. Elliott says:

    i knew those mushrooms tasted funny.

  12. Dave says:

    someone is late for their audition in the new Will Ferrell movie

  13. HEy! says:

    “Whud up loc!”

  14. Scotty says:

    “Hey, is this the Cash Cab?”

  15. Shell says:

    They told him that he would bearly fit but he couldnt bear walking in this heat.

  16. Kauzmo says:

    “To the woods STAT, I gotta take a dump!”

  17. BTownCircus says:

    ….this city deserves a better class of carnivore…..

  18. ArT says:

    so I was watching through the window, and then I saw this HUMAN in a car?
    I was like “Woah!”

  19. Mr.Sleepy says:

    Chauffeur, your driving skill isn’t that bad. Actually, it is BEARable.

  20. Stewie G says:

    In communist Russia, Bear from Zoo comes to see YOU!

  21. KG says:

    Scene from the sequel to Collateral, starring Tom Cruise and Will Ferrell (pictured above)

  22. KG says:

    Taxicab Confessions: When Good Pets Go Bad

  23. KG says:

    Taxicab Confessions: The Grizzly Truth

  24. KG says:

    Grand Theft Auto V: Animal Planet

  25. Anonymous says:

    Bear: “Hey! Did you see that other bear…HUH?!… did you see it? Hey other bear… FUCK YOU!!”

  26. Seth says:

    jeeez thats dangerous….. that bear doesnt have its seatbelt on.

  27. michael says:

    Follow that bitch! She has my porridge!

  28. OK, take the next left and then BEAR right.

  29. Rob says:

    Though the taxi driver was clueless, he was now part of a drive by mauling.

  30. DDT says:

    With gas prices on the rise commuter bears have been hardest hit.

  31. DonnyG says:

    Achmed is exercising his right to bear arms.

  32. tamara says:

    Oh shit, can you make a U-turn? We just passed a Coldtsone!

  33. FrogSoda says:

    This is how we relocate bears in Russia.

  34. MVL says:

    LuLu the bear had fallen on hard times, and unfortunately had no choice but to turn to prostitution.

  35. Keeblerkahn says:

    Who driving car? Bear driving car!!!

  36. Jak says:

    Taxi gets pulled over.

    Officer: “What the hell is that thing??”
    Taxi Driver: ” A bear? ”
    Office: ” i know that! Get it to the zoo now! ”
    Taxi Driver : “We’ve just been, he had a great time!”

  37. YOUNGFED says:

    BALLLLLIIINNNN!!!!!! or maybe in this case it’s GROWLLLLIINNNNN!!!!!

  38. Joyius says:

    Hey, come on, I need to get back to the hundred acre woods before Christopher Robin gets back.

  39. J Christian says:

    The driver drives too slow that the bear can’t bear it.

  40. Martikos says:

    Next on Animal Planet: “Taxicab Confessions”

  41. Marteen says:

    Bernice the Bear didnt really work out so well… so Jimmy Fallon’s next choice was Queen Latifah.

  42. Joe B says:

    And they still wont pick up black……Bears.

  43. Bohgey says:

    “Pull closer to the curb, I’m going to grab that hooker and hit the next mailbox we see!”

  44. Michael says:

    What tha, where am I and why does my ass hurt?

  45. Newt says:

    “Yes, I know. Shit sticks to my fur. That’s why I’m out HERE.”

  46. Baba says:

    And then Jørgen was like, “ohmigad, I no can move to San Frathisco with you,” so I was like “oh, puleeez, Magnus no needuh your bony ass anyway!”

  47. BillSilver says:

    See how much that Ranger likes it when i steal his picnic basket.

  48. Dingoangst says:

    Bear right, yeah bear right. No, no bear left.

  49. casey s says:

    Ok… who the hell farted!!

  50. Russ says:

    Hurry up and get me to the airport before the wringling brothers find out im gone….They are gonna have to find a new asshole to ride that damn tricycle.

  51. Narf says:

    Taxi Driver to Dispatch: “I’m having a bear of a time with this passenger of mine.”


  52. Narf says:

    ^ sorry, horrible pun above.

  53. Eli says:

    Faster! I need to get soldier field NOW! There is a certain Rex I need to maul.

  54. KMD says:

    Fuckin Lol at “Follow that bitch! She Stole my porrige” michael.

    My Caption “Guniess Book of Records:Taxi Driver with the biggest balls on the planet”

  55. VPSoccer says:

    Pull over — I see a hiker on the right!

  56. Paulito25 says:

    Circus transportation sure has changed since the cages on the railroad.. you should see the hippo car.

  57. Lee says:

    “Shows up at my house, eats my porage, sleeps in my bed, well I going to see how she likes it when I take a dump in her bed!”

  58. dan says:

    “Hey baby, you ever had a donkey punch from a grizzly!?”

  59. Burt says:

    In soviet Russia bear drives you.

  60. Russ says:

    Hey, I don’t let my wife ride in front either.

  61. J.L says:

    (Insert lame joke with the word bear here)

  62. Merlin says:

    Just drive casual, I’ll be out with the Ranger’s picnic basket.

  63. Jughaid says:

    Hey Cabbie… tell me how’s my ass taste!
    (This may be too much of a reach, unless you’ve heard Shaq’s rap dedicated to Kobe. Oh well, it beats the hell out of repeating some sorry-ass Bear pun)

  64. Bobby says:

    Step on it!!! Get me up river ahead of those damn salmon!!!

  65. Do you have change for a pine cone?

  66. cheets says:

    “Hit the gas, Goldilocks is eating the porridge”

  67. Ford says:

    dam guy drives like an animal

  68. Ford says:

    Taxi driver: I usually don’t pick up celebrities, but i voted for you 50 times on american idol Ruben

  69. Jeremy says:

    I just had a Vicodin and vodka, so there is a good chance that I am not looking at a bear in a cab…in Estonia. Whatever, Judge Judy is on.

  70. Jacob says:


  71. Joe says:

    Seriosuly… I don’t have a caption for this…

    Who puts a fuckin bear in a cab?

  72. Jeff says:

    Taxi Driver – “Okay Robin Williams, where to?”

  73. david says:

    west Philadelphia born and raised….

  74. Peter says:

    “Shit, I’m late for my next mauling.”

  75. Bogey says:

    Hurry or I’ll miss the circus.

  76. XedLos says:

    Step on it Goldy Nicko’s on our ass.

  77. rasanner says:

    follow that trail of menstration!

  78. Ed says:

    Well shit does that mean that not all popes are catholic?

  79. William says:

    As the bear contemplates the term,”does a bear shit in the woods?,after feasting on some pedestrians. He hails the first cab he see’s, realizing he is smack dab in suburbia!!

  80. C-22 says:

    A mother bear is generally very protective of her “cab”.

  81. minibar says:

    Taxi Driver: Where too?
    Bear: To the gay bar! Need to pick up some cups.

  82. Java the hut says:

    Look for the bare necessities
    The simple bare necessities
    Forget about your worries and your strife
    I mean the bare necessities
    That’s why a bear can rest at ease
    With just the bare necessities of life

  83. michael says:

    Time to roll up on these fools!!!

  84. pat says:

    “god damnit, this cab driver smells like shit”

  85. Doc says:

    That’s not a bear, that’s my bitch

  86. philip says:

    YYYEEEHHHAAA!!! that last mailbox flew like 50 feet when i hit it!!

  87. carlos says:

    The new Russian Car Anti-Theft Device.

  88. Sam says:

    Ben takes a cab to the maul; his unicycle has a flat.

  89. stephen says:

    So you’re telling me this isn’t the panda express?

  90. MxPxPunk says:

    Trunk Monkey 2.0
    For those of your who need more than a chimpanzee!!!

  91. darylo says:

    Ass gas or cash NOBODY rides for free…

  92. Ahmed says:

    This is Obviously a deleted scene from Borat

  93. JockStrap says:

    Due to the furry dice shortage, furry bears are now being used to ridicule other drivers.

  94. Sean says:

    Borat’s Bear, now one rich sow, is fucking tired of walking to the dump.

  95. DeeboJones says:

    Here’s a Franklin. Now follow that pic-a-nic basket.

  96. Jordan says:

    where too miss rosie o’donnel?

  97. DeeboJones says:

    Any reason why you passed that black guy over there and picked me up instead?

  98. fularry007 says:

    GooooddLooorrrrdd, this is the biggest ass plug ive ever had.

  99. Seth says:

    labatt blue bear is smart enough to not drive under the influence

  100. arktiksnoman says:

    C’mon Boo Boo, We’re off to find some pick-o-nick baskets!

  101. kolbz says:

    North to Alaska, it’s tourist season!

  102. Garret says:

    Fuck cab fare is expensive.

  103. KG says:

    Shown in better days – R.I.P. BEARnie Mac

  104. Kripp says:

    Hurry up, I cant bear to miss my flight!

  105. Deez nutz says:

    Bear grills surviving a taxi cab ride.

  106. KG says:

    Bearnie Mac on the way to the hospital, days before his death

  107. Joe-El says:

    Step on it, I’m late! The Lion and Tiger are gonna be pissed, Oh My!

  108. Jan says:

    Look driver, I said I’d give you a good tip if you got me some beer quick.

  109. Dingoangst says:

    To the woods man, quickly. Very quickly, if you get my drift.

  110. Shikara says:

    “Bearings” has been taken to a whole new level.

  111. Passa says:

    Drive faster or I’ll endanger your ass!

  112. Another photo of Britney getting out of a taxi without a slip. and whitout a shaving.

  113. Josh says:

    I’m late for the shooting at the Dr. Doolittle set! My manager is gonna be pissed!

  114. srqcub says:

    definition of government – the act of people whos shit don’t stink to control the power of peoples shit whom they think that does stink.

  115. Jack says:

    “If only we got Favre, we would have won the division this season…screw Rex Grossman, I’m out of here.”

  116. soupass says:

    Follow that pic-a-nick basket!!

  117. Mr.Fixer says:

    Step on it Boo-Boo, that truck loaded with pic-a-nic baskets is gettin’ awayyyyy!!!

  118. Random Hero says:

    Berenstein bears : Going to New York

  119. Niles Lesh says:

    Yes at the light bear right

  120. Macker says:

    OK, here comes the mailbox…you ready, bear?

  121. vinny says:

    BEASTIALITY DELIVERY NOW AVAILBLE IN YOUR AREA! Just dial 1-800-BEAR-BUT and ask for the Grizzly Adams special.

  122. Buddy Ice says:

    Bear: Why the hell does it always smell like lamb-kabob-curry in these cabs? Hey Habeeb, open the freakin’ window will’ya!

  123. Charles H Gund says:

    Kazakhstan greatest country in the world

  124. christian says:

    Not even the bear could stand the overpowering stench of curry.

  125. Macker says:

    Step on it, will ya? The woods aren’t going to shit in themselves….

  126. Macker says:

    Does a bear shit in the woods? NOT IF YOU DON’T HURRY THE F*CK UP!

  127. Fahl says:

    Boy… he sure made the wrong choice in this weeks “What would you rather?”.

  128. BareOso says:

    Hurry!Take me to the Triangle strip bar!!!

  129. Jay T. says:

    Photo taken by Danny Glover on his new iPhone…

  130. Zeb says:

    Colbert’s house! And quickly!