Write a caption for this photo of Mr. Universe and you can win a copy of Unreal Tournament III for the Xbox 360. As usual, leave your captions in the comments section. Winners will be notified via some dumbass who works at HolyTaco. Godspeed.
See last week’s winners after the jizump (that’s street for “jump.” Fun!)
Winners:
Mr. Poopoopachu: David Blaine prepares for his next stunt – living for a week in Oprah’s ass.
Runners Up:
Paulito25: I think Roger is taking the whole Your keys are always the last place you look thing a little to seriously.
DonnyG: So this is how Blue Man Group was created.
Chris: Can you hear me now? Good.
AR: 3 guys, 1 elephant
C Taylor: So that’s how republicans are made!
Zach P: Well, it seems we found the problem. There’s an asshole stuck in it’s asshole. (I don’t totally understand this, but it makes me smile anyway.)
Here we see Mr. Universe’s unbelievable ability to scare his hair shorter with every arm flex. Amazing!!!
China’s version of The Biggest Loser has nothing to do with losing weight.
This is the result of three years right-handed masturbation. I wish I had a bigger dick…
Hey Ladies!
Mr. Universe feels that his time has come to take on AIDS after recently hearing Chuck Norris laid defeat to them
Careful: this guy dominates the 80 lb ladies arm-wrestling division.
Masturbating, the key to giant guns!!
“I had my arm this far in Clay’s ass”
a NUT? pfff you could smuggle a whole GUM drop in this bicep ya here!
I rike to rift weights!
Chinese steroids suck just as bad as most other Chinese goods.
This is not what we meant when we said we needed Chinese muscle to help boost the economy.
2018 home run leader…10 years before the steroids!!
Whatcha gonna do when changs 4 inch pythons run wild on you!
Bai Ling’s early days.
I would like to thank Palm-ela Right. Always there when I needed it most and never complained at all!
The effects of steroids have finally hit baseball in Japan.
I earned this gun from styling this come-over.
And I thought I’d never see a chicken wing with less meat on the bone than the frog-legs they pass as wings, at Hooter’s.
His arm looks like a flexi-straw!
“Hey ladies, do you have a cage? For these PYTHONS!”
Meet the Next Ultimate fighter. CHANG “BOWLA” CUMM
I hope you brought tickets. This gun show’s not free.
Actually I use my left one to do battle with the purple helmeted warrior of love.
….make fun of my haircut one more time and you are gonna get some of this biatch…….
Look how ripped you can get by cutting your own hair
“It stronger than it look. It conk me out to sleep and give me haircut. It also steal my girlfriend and get me fired from job. i hate him.”
As you can see, my right side is my good side.
I love how you can win “unreal tournament III” for captioning this dude’s unreal haircut and huge-mongous biceps. Yay for subtlety.
Chung Dao shows off the long-term effects of jacking off to hentai.
P.S. Didn’t you already give away UT3 for 360?
Retards have Muscles too!!
And here you can see one of the worms that have infested my body. If I move my arm like this it bunches up…..Cool, huh?
Arnolds weaker cousin but probably would be better running california
Chase Utley has really let himself go.
ITS NOT A TOOMA
“Chang went to the doctor to get that sex change he had been wishing for.
Only to awake to find this lump on his arm instead of on his chest”
Speak into the microphone Beotch!
This is nothing more than Yao Ming’s penis that he can flex and dress up.
Ancient Chinese Secret!!
Ok Rosie, I’m ready to put my whole hand in your mouth.
I can haz big muskels!
Ladies Ladies Ladies, please… relax.. there is plenty of the asian sensation to go around…
Ladies ladies ladies… please.. there is plenty of the asian sensation to go around.. please form a line. the gunshow is for everyone.
Stunt arm.
Baseketball II- Japanese Crackheads
rooks rike my rife had another baby girl, time to roll up the sreeves, don’t want to get them ret as I hold her underwater
Over 9000! Hours of masturbation!
Why the USA gymnastics team lost…
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Remember when I told you I couldn’t get the hamster out? yea…
The Wii Fit really has made an amazing difference in changing Liu’s physique.
Interviewer: Michael Phelps.
Mr.Universe: Michael who?
He’s huge… in Japan.
“Don’t make me use my strong arm!”
Half Pete Rose, half emo: 100% badass.
Must be reft-handed…
You think my haircut is bad? Take a look at these!
You want to see my junk next you say Mrs. Peterson? Oh no no no, I don’t know about that… well alright, let me see if I can squeeze out of these lime green hot pants.
With China as the up and coming “world power”, and having the “big guns” like this surely indicate a third World War in our future.
Winner of Mr. Half-androgynous meth addicted Universe 2008.
The Chinese Chris Crocker is getting pumped up for his upcoming world tour!
The Chinese Chris Crocker is getting pumped up for his upcoming world tour!!
Hang 7 gold medals around his neck and women will say “he’s hot!!!”
Chinese Milk: it does a body good.
” I got a free haircut in Supercuts for joining Golds Gym”
“Look!!, I got a free haircut in Supercuts for joining Gold’s Gym”
Ahh yes mucha time spent waxing on and waxing off!
translation on bottom right: “no women will sleep with him because of his stupid emo haircut, so he has little muscles from playing with his little pee-pee.”
What’s wrong with your readership? Some of these comments are pretty bad.
My right arm is way stronger, which is why I accidentally gave myself this lopsided haircut.
I can wift fwee hundwed pounds!
“Welcome to “So you think you’re attractive!” Let’s meet our next contestant!
Not only do I cut my own hair but I also do my own weight training (flexes muscle)
Please look at my amazingly small muscles
(so you wont notice my amazingly sad haircut)
Somebody call a doctor because these puppies are siiick!
im telling the truth im supposed to turn green. at least i still have this kickass rihanna haircut.
“My Precious….”
Gaysians make me ror (Raugh out Roud) !!!!
“My Precious…”
And then that gerbil he put in my bum just kept going and going… see?
“As you can see in the previous picture I had my arm this far up the elephants ass!”
“As you can see from the previous picture I had my arm this far up the elephants ass!”
“Hey look guys, when I do this (flexes) it slides up and down my arm, just like my adam’s apple does in my throat”
Keira Knightley’s buff Asian transvestite half bro-sister.
Playing my X-Box 24/7 gives me the only bulge I’ll ever get with a hair cut like this.
I may have a bad haircut and kiddy biceps, but im wearing a baseball jersey, it counter-balance.
That scene chick has some big guns!
Constant attacks by Godzilla have forced the Japanese to create the ultimate soldier a.k.a, MR.UNIVERSE.
63 years after Hiroshima and radiation babies have finally found their place in the world.
“You see this?! You see this mal-nourishment? It took me years to perfect this.”
Chinese Govt.-funded attempts to create the perfect super-soldier have failed. High-ranking officials have recently submitted a resolution reintroducing the test subjects back into society. We go to one such person now.
Clay Asian
ARE THESE QUEER!!!!
ARE THESE QUEER!!!!
Wang Chung , winner of Survivor: Wonderland Ranch
As you can see from our prototype, the next generation in Japanese technology gives us the new bio-injectable mp3 player. Once the mp3 player is surgically inserted into your arm, all you have to do is flex like so, and you change to the next song on your playlist. We are still sorting out the side effects, which so far only seems to be a hairdo that looks as if you were attacked by a blind barber having a seizure.
I just lost two whole people on the Subway diet…Thanks Jared!
I punch myself in head rike dis and it spin my mullet 90 degrees. It crazy!
Chinese government milk…. does a body bad
loke at my guns guys!
thees took years of pwaying games on my Texas Instrument TI-86!
wow!
i gots bigger muskles than uncle yao!
Ladies and Gentlemen, after months of searching, we’ve found the weapons of mass destruction!
Do you think that this is enough to get me a good dry hump with Megan Fox?
Do you think that this enough to get me a dry hump with Megan Fox?
My caption is-
“Mom, I know you told me I would go blind, but this happened instead”
Tom’s been in hiding since Katie started working out.
Better picture: This and his avatar character side-by-side.
Behold…my mighty pythons, still digesting feeble mouse…
“At the singles bar the ladies laugh at my haircut, but then I flash a smile and give her a preview of the gun show.”
This is actually a new breed of hermaphodite. The right side is a man, left side is allllll woman (single boob and half-junk not shown).
Kimbo Slice’s next opponent.
Im still working on the tanning part but look how “Jacked: i am……i dont even need preperation H.
Rosie Mcdonalds after weightloss picture..
Only way to bag a classy lady is a ridiculous bowl-cut and tickets to the gun show. Let see if she likes the goods…
It can sing too!
So thats where my gerbil ended up!!
So that’s where my gerbil ended up!!!!
(don’t make me explain gerbiling).
Never go full retard
I’ll gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today.
I have nothing…I suck at this.
I am a bad dude, the wist is a wittle wimp but just wook at my bithepts.
BOOMSHACKALACKA!
Me rack roff ronggg time!
I ate a squirrel and now he’s in my arm.
konichiwa! res I said 15 Second ricepts! Eat your ried Rice and you can have ricepts like me!! John Basedow eat your Heart out!
Having sworn off steroids following his Australia arrest, Sylvester Stallone hams it up for the cameras outside of the premiere for “Over the Top II – Thrilla in Manila”
Want to be like j-rod? It only takes 23 hours a day, an industrial size bottle of lube, and a subscrption to hello kitty gone wild. caution j-rod would like worn you that to little lube has been a know cause of skin grafs
When a good prank goes bad who knew if you painted a persons dick like a Wii controller they could get in such good shape and have so much fun.
Rondon 2012 here i come!!!!
“Who says masturbating in your parents basement three times a day doesn’t build mussel.” -Wang Beater,
“Who says masturbating in your parents basement three times a day doesn’t build mussel mass?” -Wang Beater
American Southern culture + Japanese culture = Awesome!
Ninja Please!!! Look at these guns
see…. us asians are strong.
One at a time Biotches, One at a time!!!
Coming up on MXC…… “Hey Radies!!!! Ru have rickets to gun show??? Goooooo Pokemon!!!! I WIN!!!!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4VomImtzVw
What’s my secret? Jerking off!
well shit….now i know why nobody wanted to catch bird flu.
Jackie Chan’s gay cousin Jackay “Hey” Chan!
See, Starcraft is all the exercise i’ll ever need to get the ladies!
“If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy,
Come on sugar let me know…”
“I am “Eddie” FurLong Duck Dong! Thanks for loanin’ me the Donger!!”
For, just, $1 a day, you can save a starving child like this…
sweet haircut – $8, jar of Weightgain 3000 – $35, winning Mr. Universe… Priceless!!!
“…and, don’t even get me started on my pecs!!!”
How do I stay fit? Daily protein shakes to the face.
How do I stay healthy? Daily protein shakes to the face.
Oops.
Hung Lo to japanese Bob Barker: Dee price isa wrong bitch!!!
a chinaman whos penis size isnt the most embarressing thing about him
so thats how the Chinese smuggle stuff in to the states
Does this haircut make my muscles look bigger?
Does this haircut make my muscles look fat?
or do i have some trouble with my eyes -_-
Jimmy got guns
And I got none…
My bicep’s gone a-way…
Ryan Howard ate a Philly Cheese Steak and shit this out
Mommy says I’m growing up to be a big boy!
Bruce Lee before he started using Old Spice.
Barry Bond’s new trainer!!!!
The Winner of Unreal Tournament III
PS: To all the morons.. it is clearly japanese, not chinese, look at the kanji.. kooks
What’cha gonna do when the Hulkster cooomessss for yooooouuuu!!!!
…..But in chinese
I wish I had a bigger Weiner!
this is what the entire japanese population looks like; men and women. boo…
Free Tibet !!!!
My right hand love me long time…
The Japanese join in on the American reality TV craze — Survivor: The Holocaust
These comments
are
terrible. Not offensive, but just pathetic.
Kill yourselves now.
Yea….these comments are really bad, the sad thing is how many of you thought u were clever writing this trash
Why the world can’t distinguish the difference between Japanese males and females….
Man shows how far gerbil has made it up his body, after shoving it up his ass 3 days prior.
… and then I ate it. … and then I saw this…
to catch a predator catches Chu Lomien , first transsexual ping pong champion. explains he actually just likes to pose with underage children.
”I hope you ladies have tickets… To the gun show!”
My muscles, strong as the US economy!
“Yeah I do think haircut scissors are a little heavy.. why?”
Some days you wake up with an emo haircut, bad teeth, an oversized sports jersey, and 5 years of muscle atrophy and you think to yourself…damn it feels good to be a gangster
Ahh! Ichi Bahn(#1) in the Rower(lower) region. (giggles with embarassment)Not so much in my bicep!
Yo, so when my woman dogged my new haircut, I grabbed that bitch by the head like this, see, right, and I was all like, ‘POW! BIZZACK!’ and shiz, you know. I don’t go out like no bitch, know what I’m sayin? Fo real.
world chopstick champ wong dong ding – rook at my very beeg muscres…
Yep, that’s a fetus in my arm. Crazy, huh?
Sorry ladies, the tickets to the gun show are all sold out…
I’m not gonna make fun of him, this is how fucking Ghengis Kahn probably got pissed off
If you were ever curious as to what an anorexic man on steroids would look like…
As you can see I swallowed an egg and it ended up here?
So I say to you…. I can has baseball… yes?! My hairmet shall protect me!
Actual Winner of Unreal tournament shows off his “guns”.
I got these muscles from combing my hair
“By the power of Grey… Ah man, WTF!”
“I put a Hamster up my ass and this where he ended up.”